John Cal McCormick's Reviews
Ultimately, how much you enjoy I Saw Black Clouds is going to hinge on your appreciation level for schlocky horror and low-budget psychological thrillers. It's an amusing enough diversion, but the story may leave you unsatisfied depending on your route through the game, and there's nothing here that you haven't already seen in a dozen straight to DVD clangers starring Stephen Baldwin or Tara Reid.
We played it three times over a couple of bottles of wine, cringing together, laughing at the awkward conversations, and rolling our eyes in unison when one girl announced she was "an influencer". So if you've got a big bottle of claret and someone to play this with we'd recommend it. If you're on your own and after a romantic comedy, we'd probably go for The Wedding Singer.
Port Royale 4's gameplay consists almost entirely of all of the bits in other strategy games that you'd normally set to "Automate" because they're fiddly and boring. It's a game set in the era of pirates with nary a hint of swashing nor buckling.
Captain Tsubasa: Rise of New Champions is a bit like when you fancy watching a game of footy but there's only the Scottish league on the telly. Sure, it looks like football to the untrained eye, and yes, occasionally it's entertaining just like real football, but you're mainly there hoping that someone is going to get chinned.
Man of Medan kicks The Dark Pictures Anthology off with a whimper rather than a bang. The format has a lot of potential, but this was undoubtedly the wrong story to showcase it. The narrative is slight and rarely gets out of first gear, the characters are annoying, the scares limp, and the dialogue unnatural. There's constant technical hiccups. In fact, the scariest thing about Man of Medan is how it ever went gold in the state that it's in.
This Diablo clone shares many of the mechanics with the famous dungeon-'em-up, but scarcely manages to execute them with the anywhere close to the same degree of quality. The moment to moment gameplay is where Warhammer: Chaosbane falls shortest, offering a loop that is neither fun nor addictive by any recognisable measure thanks to dull combat and disappointing loot. There's little reason to recommend Warhammer: Chaosbane in a world in which Diablo III exists – which is the world we currently live in – so we're not recommending it.
YIIK: A Postmodern RPG, sadly, never shines as brightly as it does during its opening hours. There's enjoyment to be had here, sure, especially for anyone with love for the '90s – but all of the references to Chrono Trigger and Pogs in the world can't balance out the pleasure-less battle system and overly complicated levelling up mechanics.
The Lost Child isn't a game bereft of merit, and we're sure that there's a number of people who'll enjoy the visual novel slash first person dungeon crawler approach taken here. But it's certainly a game with limited appeal - even among the role playing game demographic - thanks to the lifeless battles and cumbrous dungeon design. It's a game that pays more than a passing nod to numerous other RPGs - Pokemon, Persona, and other Shin Megami Tensei titles - but sadly, never approaches the quality of any of them.
Final Fantasy fans will likely be enamoured with the array of classic locales to battle in, re-imagined songs from previous games, and the impressive roster of fighters on offer here, but it's all downhill after that. Dissidia Final Fantasy NT is a disappointing fighting game that crumples under the weight of poor design choices and crippling technical issues, leaving little reason to recommend it to anyone other than fervent supporters of the brand.
With each passing episode of Telltale's Guardians of the Galaxy, the chances that the series will evolve from a mildly entertaining diversion into an essential purchase grow dimmer. There's nothing here that's especially bad, and it's certainly not the worst series that Telltale has put together, but so far there's precious little beyond the easy Platinum Trophy to warrant a recommendation to anyone other than those enamoured with either the Telltale format or the Marvel characters. More Than a Feeling, quite simply, is more of the same.
Imagine what would have happened during World War II if Winston Churchill had issued orders and his subordinates had just stood still – slack-jawed, disinterested, and non-compliant. Or perhaps what would have happened if Johannes Blaskowitz had directed a battalion of German panzers to move through a tight alley in Stalingrad, only for the first tank in line to inexplicably grind to a halt four metres into the alley, leaving the rest of the squad to be picked off by Soviet anti-tank soldiers. Consider how Stalin would have reacted had he found out that an entire squadron of his finest Russian soldiers were indiscriminately wiped out when his own tanks blew up the building they were holed up in aiming at enemies on the other side of the structure. Thanks to a control scheme that doesn't make sense and sometimes doesn't do what it's supposed to, and appalling AI for both allies and enemy units, Sudden Strike 4 is a game that answers all of these questions and a bunch more you were probably afraid to ask.
There's a kernel of an idea buried within The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing that has potential. The son of a legendary vampire killer continuing where his father left off is at the very least a vaguely compelling starting point, and the action RPG genre could certainly benefit from some more humorous titles to serve as palette cleansers between all the hell and death and misery. Van Helsing's lighthearted tone certainly helps it to stand out from most games in the genre, but neither the battle system or the narrative are interesting enough to make it worth persevering with the other.
Exist Archive: The Other Side of the Sky is an advertisement for the mantra that less is more. There's an enjoyable ten hour game here, but it's buried in a repetitive and frustrating forty hour experience in which the majority of the content not only feels superfluous, but actually detrimental to the whole. The story it tells might be good enough to justify grinding through the uninspired battles and platforming sections were the game dramatically shorter, but as it is the sporadic narrative can't save what is a largely tedious affair.
Mixing things up a little could have worked wonders, but as it is, playing Neon Chrome is an exercise in tedium occasionally broken up by the odd exciting moment. The progression system amounts to little more than slowly increasing numbers next to things like 'health' and 'damage', and contradictory design choices mean that despite options being made available to you, the best option is almost always the same one. Ultimately, Neon Chrome is a game that wants you to keep coming back for more, but one that offers few reasons to actually do so.
Another double-edged sword is the brevity of the game. While we'd argue that a lot of visual novels pad out the running time and get a little long in the tooth, the eight hours we spent with Harmony weren't enough to effectively flesh out the world or the characters. That said, the story moves at brisk pace, and we never found ourselves bored even if we were sometimes a little confused.
There's a kernel of a fantastic tactical role playing game in Miasma Chronicles, but it lacks polish in a few key areas, and while the lore and the characters are endearing in their own right the overarching fiction that binds it all together disappoints.
Mask of the Lunar Eclipse is an old school survival horror game for better and worse. It's charmingly old school, and for people who grew up on a healthy diet of Resident Evil and Silent Hill back on the original PlayStation like we did, there'll be something nostalgic to the control foibles and camera issues. But there's no getting away from the fact that this is a game that feels older than it is, and the leaden pace will be off-putting to many.
Do well and everyone is happy and they might leave tips. You can spend your hard-earned coin on new cooking equipment, décor for your bistro, furniture, that kind of thing. As you progress, you learn new recipes, and you can add new flourishes to old ones. Eventually you get more chefs you can lead to help you out. And if you're really struggling there's options to lower the difficulty significantly, which makes the game quite chilled out if that's more your thing.
Star Ocean: The Divine Force is like a comfortable pair of JRPG slippers. If you're in the mood for a Japanese role playing game and you've played all of the good ones then you can rest assured that this one is fine. It's okay. It's comfort food. You know that feeling when you just wish Netflix would make another season of Mindhunter and so you end up watching Criminal Minds? That. Only in space.
Valkyrie Elysium is a game of two halves. The level design and objectives feel at least two generations old and the characters and storyline are more like placeholders than the finished article. There's no capital F feelings here or much in the way of narrative justification, but if you're okay with that and you just want fifteen to twenty hours of fast, frantic, fluid combat then we can just about recommend this one.