Christopher Teuton


53 games reviewed
72.8 average score
80 median score
75.5% of games recommended
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Even with a Lightcon, is a waste of time and barely a game at all.

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- XIII
Nov 18, 2020

XIII has only changed for the worse.

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Mar 26, 2024

It's hard to determine exactly who Snow Day is meant to be for. The ideal player of South Park: Snow Day has three other friends who are extremely into South Park, to the point of enjoying anything with the character's faces painted on it, and those three friends also enjoy battling waves upon waves of unintelligent NPC fodder with single button mashes while occasionally pressing one of two other buttons to execute an ability. These four friends should also laugh hilariously at the idea of a Taylor Swift album fetching "nearly half a roll" on the toilet paper black market - honestly, if that one joke doesn't snag you, it's all downhill from there.

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Oct 8, 2019

John Wick Hex plays like a top-down Superhot but isn't nearly as entertaining as the film.

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Grand Theft Auto 3, Vice City, and San Andreas are some of the PlayStation 2's best games and helped to both pioneer and define the open world genre. Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy - Definitive Edition does not provide the best way to experience these titles, nor should this be considered the "definitive" edition of the games included. The Definitive Edition is often prettier and slightly more modern in its controls and presentation, but missing features and poorly optimized content let down what could have been ideal remasters. Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy - Definitive Edition feels rushed - and after twenty years, that's disappointing.

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Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts offers hardcore sniping and lots of glitches.

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- GYLT
Nov 18, 2019

Gylt is an intensely personal experience filled with average gameplay and overused tropes.

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Oct 29, 2019

Afterparty is filled with irritating characters and over-written dialog sections.

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Breakpoint feels less like a tactical infiltrator and more like all of Ubisoft's other sandboxes.

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Destroy All Humans!'s remake definitely feels old-fashioned.

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Learn how to help children not get eaten by monsters in this PS2-esque Chinese tale.

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Nov 4, 2019

Voyage of the Dead adequately delivers another 4 player local co-op zombie rail shooter.

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Sep 19, 2019

More rewarding, interactive story elements and some sort of in-game hint system would go a long way towards making The Sojourn an enjoyable experience for wide audiences, but right now only serious fans of spatial logistics may find the energy to persevere.

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Resident Evil 4 Remake: Separate Ways is just as fun to play as Resident Evil 4 Remake was, although it's much shorter. There are some great set-pieces and moments of camp that you won't find in any other series, and it is nice that Capcom is at least giving Ada and Wesker to the base game's Mercenaries mode for free. But. This whole part of the game used to be free. This was an add-on, a bonus, something Capcom initially packaged in with Resident Evil 4 on the PlayStation 2. All you had to do was beat the game once - there was no extra money involved.

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Sep 13, 2023

Mortal Kombat 1 reboots the series for the second time in 30 years, and while the fighting is good it's clear everyone is unsure how to move forward.

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Battle royale comes for Pac-Man.

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Aftermath gives MK11 the ending it needed.

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Nov 21, 2019

Shenmue III has finally arrived, and it is exactly what fans of the series have been asking for.

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Disney Classic Games is perfectly preserved depiction of the video game movie tie-in culture of the 90's.

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Planescape Torment & Icewind Dale adequately explore the weirder elements of Dungeons & Dragons.

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