Forget this game. Move along, and pretend you never heard of Decay of Logos.
If you’re even able to find a copy of Cooking Mama: Cookstar, you should probably reconsider where you’re spending your money.
Zombie Driver is bad. In almost every conceivable way. It never really hits the mark on anything it attempts, leaving the player with a frustrating mess of interchangeable missions, a map that’s a chore to navigate, sluggish controls, and a story that you’ll forget before you hit the X button to close the software. You’d probably have more fun in a real zombie apocalypse.
I said it before, but I’ll repeat it – this is the worst baseball game I’ve ever played.
The Sinking City is the type of game that will appeal only to the most hardcore of H.P. Lovecraft, or noir fiction fans. Everyone else will be left wondering how so much could go so wrong in what really is an excellent idea for a game.
If blood is thicker than water, Bloody Bunny: The Game still wouldn’t be able to fill up the shallow end. It’s repetitive, uninteresting, and littered with bugs. The framerate does stay consistent, but if anything, that just works to highlight how awful everything else is. It’s never a good sign when you feel as if you’ve seen all that a game has to offer within the training stage. It’s even worse when the credits start to roll, and you realize that you did actually see everything the game has to offer in that training stage. Bloody hell, Bloody Bunny…
Here’s the thing, though; despite every issue that the GTA: DE suffers from, I’ve still been having a good time with it. Which is simply a testament to how well-written the Grand Theft Auto series is. The GTA: DE needs a patch. Or, maybe, it needs a boatload of patches. Though, I still find myself enjoying the over-the-top storylines, ridiculous dialogue, and outrageous mission structure. It’s hard to call these definitive, but still easy to call them classics.
I can’t argue that at the heart of Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon & The Blade of Light is the tried-and-true Fire Emblem formula. And when used as nothing more than a reference to how far the series as a whole has come in 30 years, it answers the question of whether or not it’s worth your hard-earned $6. But I’d bet the farm that the majority of casual Fire Emblem fans won’t be able to deal with the games offensively slow pace. And to top it all off, I love the sights and sounds of the eight and sixteen-bit by-gone era, but by the end of the campaign, I was ready to never again play another classic. There are only so many beeps and crumple sound effects that I can handle in one lifetime.
The Outer Worlds on the Nintendo Switch is the final straw for me. My heart can’t take the disappointment of these ports anymore. Time and time again, a port of an otherwise excellent game is released on the Switch (at full price, mind you) only to be a shell of the developer’s original vision. I get it, there’s money to be made, and there will always be that dedicated group of fans that can’t be told no, and will argue these games don’t look the way they do. But we all know that’s a joke. The Outer Worlds on the Switch looks bad, plays bad, and did nothing more than make me want to get the game elsewhere. I guess that’s a win for Obsidian.
I wanted to love EA Sports PGA Tour. Though I find myself as disappointed as Bart Simpson was when he got Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge for Christmas. The initial gameplay showcase had me as excited as a kid in a candy store. There’s no denying it’s a gorgeous game. Course flyovers and commentary are also superb. But these fleeting moments of brilliance make PGA Tour’s missteps all the more frustrating. Until EA gets under the hood and performs the mountain of work required to get it up to snuff, I’ll be sticking to PGA Tour 2K23. At least that game works.
Listen, aside from having to deal with hardware limitations, The Hong Kong Massacre on the Switch is plenty serviceable. If you’re a fan of the bang-your-head-against-the-wall experience that these games offer, look no further. But I can’t recommend this on the Switch over any other system. And then, at that point, you might as well play something better. If ever a game garnered the title of mediocre, The Hong Kong Massacre is it.
In between some of the most frustrating moments I’ve had with any sort of game in quite some time, PGA Tour 2K21 flashed with hopeful, brilliant optimism.
Was it always this bad? Or was the original merely a product of its time, having no business in the year 2020? Either way, this remaster has been the sort of letdown that’s made me reconsider if anything from my childhood was as good as I remember.
There’s a long way to go for Resident Evil Resistance before it can compete with its single-player counterpart.
If you can look past all of the issues plaguing Arkham Horror: Mother’s Embrace, there are certainly worse games to spend a weekend with. Especially if you’re a fan of Lovecraftian horror, but steer clear of it if you’re somebody that asks of your 2021 gaming experiences to at least feel like you’re playing something made in the past fifteen years. Granted, I’ll be curious to see if this receives a sequel, as I do believe this series could become a sleeper hit. Stay tuned.
Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League drips with potential but never lives up to the Rocksteady pedigree. I had fun with its story, at times being genuinely left on the edge of my seat with what could happen next. Most of the performances – Kevin Conroy being the best of the bunch – also kept me engaged and entertained with the narrative. But the endlessly unambitious gameplay loop grates on me like nails on a chalkboard. Envisioning this as a live-service game with years of life ahead of it is impossible. It’ll be interesting to see if Rocksteady can ever make Suicide Squad feel more entertaining than a bullet to the head.
If you’re a diehard fan of the RoboCop franchise, you may find merit in RoboCop: Rogue City. Regardless of my disappointment with it, I can’t deny that it’s the best RoboCop game we’ve seen. Just keep in mind that isn’t exactly saying much. A weak narrative, archaic character models, generally horrific voice acting, and a slew of technical issues hold Rogue City back from being the game I desperately wanted it to be. Admittedly, shootouts can be fun, but I’m not convinced that alone saves what otherwise feels like a letdown. Much like RoboCop’s enemies, approach with caution.
I’ll even give EA credit. Fifa feels like simulation soccer. Madden feels like simulation football. I know that they’re capable of bigger and better things. But, for now, NHL 23, like all the ones before it, still feels like the black sheep of the family. As if it’s simply incapable of ever feeling like hockey. It’s telling that the worst cover in EA Sports NHL history is tied to the most disappointing game in nearly ten years.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game – Complete Edition isn’t going to win any awards. Hell, I doubt anyone remembers it’s out come March. And that’s probably where it should rest. It’s got a banging’ soundtrack, but you can listen to that without having to play it. Are you and three of your friends the biggest Scott Pilgrim fans on the planet? Okay, you got me. This will probably be the greatest thing to happen since Matthew Patel got the stuffing whipped out of him.
More so than any other game I’ve reviewed, House Flipper is going to be what you make of it.