Built on mobile game design, Robo Wars has gameplay a toddler could master and a slide-show of boring “levels”, if you’re generous enough to call them that. The use of time-gated loot box structure for progression (with no actual microtransactions) only sullies the experience further. There are apps with far more interesting countdown timers available basically everywhere, which are probably much more worthy of your time… and money.
In short, Handball 21 is a poor imitation of the real-life counterpart it tries to emulate. With janky, inconsistent mechanics, comical goalkeeping AI, lifeless presentation and shallow gameplay, there’s little to recommend to anyone other than the most hardcore of handball fans. The greatest compliment I can give it is that while the game itself made me question my existence, I did at least watch a couple of actual matches of handball, which were far more enthralling than the virtual version. Stick with the real-life sport on this one.
While the opening 30 minutes might convince you otherwise, The Fridge is Red is an uninspired walking simulator with little actual game to engage with. A cool retro art style and sense of atmosphere dissipate out of this open fridge into the ether of a bland, empty and lukewarm room. This fridge is sadly more grey than red.
Expedition Zero hooks you in with its first hour of tense atmosphere and excellent world design, only to fling you away with horrendous combat, counter-intuitive survival & exploration mechanics, and a barebones story. This expedition simply isn’t worth embarking on, but maybe one day there’ll be an adventure worth going on.
In Nightmare is a pale competitor to other titles of the horror-adventure genre. Stealth that’s preferable to charge through, puzzles that are the blandest of time-wasters and a narrative of dark themes burdened with typos and poor delivery. Real nightmares threaten your sleep with terror and fear, whereas In Nightmare only threatens to bore or frustrate you to death.
Music Racer: Ultimate looks awesome and sounds great, but it flatters to deceive with mind-numbingly bland, unengaging gameplay mixed with some shockingly bad level design and poorly thought out structure as an overall package. When the solution to making your game more fun is to only listen and look, but not play, it becomes the video game form of “should have been an email”.
Even for a series renowned for reusing material and rehashing a tired formula of mindless yet oddly satisfying gameplay, Dynasty Warriors 9 Empires is a hollow package. If this is all the series has left to offer, it may be time to let the Three Kingdoms war themselves into oblivion. A bland, shallow title with little to offer even those who enjoy the repetition of Musou gameplay, Empires is as regurgitated as a game can be.
Failing to stack up anywhere near it’s contemporaries, Blackwind is a hollow exosuit complete with unengaging combat, mind-numbing exploration and puzzle elements, repetitious presentation, poor story and baffling design choices. There are plenty of potentially great ingredients to this package, but unlike the age-old adage, the sum is certainly no greater than the parts. A meek gust of breeze as opposed to the promise of a gale-force wind.
God of Rock has flashy, entertaining visuals with a thematic flair. While its style and level editor excel, the rhythm gameplay and fighting mechanics feel shoe-horned together, creating a clunky and messy whole. The music is great and the idea could work, but this isn’t the rock-charged moshpit that it promised to be.
Another barebones dinosaur expansion which only brings 4 new variants of reptile, the Feathered Species Pack has a lot of furry cuteness but not a whole lot else to make it worth investing in. Thankfully, Frontier Developments continue to support the game with free updates which softens the blow and keeps Jurassic World Evolution 2 on track to be the greatest dinosaur museum ever.
I See Red promises high-octane and snappy action which, by and large, it delivers on, aside from some mechanical looseness. What slows this violent rampage down to a meek crawl however is the repetitive corridor traipsing, bullet-absorbing late-game enemies and blunted visual style. You’re better off replaying Ruiner to enact bloody vengeance.
World War I returns with the Italian theatre authentically recreated for some grounded, methodical FPS action. The real war was a grind and Isonzo maybe captures that feeling a little too well with a lack of variety in maps and modes, coupled with some major technical and visual issues. Even so, it’s an earnest effort that’ll draw in appreciators of history and those who like their FPS experiences to be more tactical and threatening than the Battlefield 2042s of the world.
Elex II is a prime example of great potential being suffocated by poor execution. A large world filled with quests, unique factions and interesting lore can only carry you so far when the combat is floaty, the progression is stifling, the graphics bland and its performance breaks so visibly, so often. Instead of slaying raptors with lasers, you’ll be waiting for the game to pop-in the fun while it chugs out another texture it missed.
Mr. Prepper doesn’t turn out to be the nuclear catastrophe it initially convinces you it will be. It survives the radioactive onslaught by the skin of it’s dank, burrowed out teeth. There’s something strange in this that can be recommended, but only to those who have a penchant for the suvivalist, resource-management genre. For everyone else, the threat of impending destruction on the surface is likely more preferable to the solitude and depression of the bunker.
If you like big-breasted anime females then Neptunia x Senran Kagura: Ninja Wars has got you covered. With lacklustre story, shallow hack-and-slash mechanics and ancient graphical presentation, there’s little here worth your time. If you’re a fan of action or RPG games that are anything more deep than a puddle, Ninja Wars ain’t gonna be the one, basically, especially if you don’t fancy balancing barely-glad animated women on peaches.
Little Witch Academia: VR Broom Racing is a game I shouldn’t have liked nor should recommend, but it has a certain honest appeal that’s hard to knock it for. For wannabe broom racing witches, this game was made for you, and probably only you.
Troublemaker is another Deadly Premonition, in that it’s a game that’s objectively flawed, broken and messy. Even so, the ridiculousness and sheer enjoyment it’ll bring to your face as you continue to play will make you love it for what it is – an immature, hilariously enjoyable beat-em-up with a non-sensical story and repetitive gameplay. One of the best worst games you’ll ever play.
Solitaire meets boxing with a cheap, cheerful and limited punch-up. Deck ‘Em is an hour of straightforward fun despite it’s lack of depth or content, but the low entry cost means it’s a decent way to spend the price of a high-street coffee for a bit.
Atomic Heart is a solid yet over-indulgent first entry from a developer that maybe had more ideas than it could manage at once. The individual atoms and particles have wonderful potential, but their quantum connection to each other feels wholly missing thanks to their competing directions. I have hope a sequel could deliver on the fantastic premise and stellar world-building, but just like nuclear fusion, it’s an optimistic dream rather than an exciting current reality.
Broken Lines is a decent amalgamation of XCOM and Peaky Blinders: Mastermind. Despite its multitude of flaws and unappealing visuals, there’s a bit of fun to be had navigating this squad through this alternate WWII universe. While it’s trapped behind enemy lines, there’s hope the squad can mend the broken to ultimately survive.