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Hey Poor Player

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1613 games reviewed
73.8 average score
80 median score
59.8% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

5 / 5.0 - N++
Aug 25, 2016

N++ is easily the finest example of pedigree platforming available on the PC. Simple, raw, unpretentious, focused on skill and absolutely bursting at the seams with levels and replay value, there's just no reason not to play it if you're any sort of platform game fan.

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5 / 5.0 - Persona 5
Apr 19, 2017

Make no mistake about it, this is one game that will steal your heart from your chest. If this is the future of Persona, I can’t wait to see where Atlus takes us next.

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While The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild might not change games as we know it, that it echoes so much of the “I can do that” philosophy found in Nintendo cousins Super Mario Bros./Super Mario 64 in a modern age is nothing less than Nintendo magic at work. The Legend of Zelda is back.

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Oct 18, 2016

Well, Yomawari: Night Alone is one of those spooky horror games that reminded me why I love J-horror so much, even when the genre’s given me so many disappointments over the years. It has its flaws, but is an absolute must-play game, especially if you own a Vita.

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Aug 22, 2016

When all is said and done, what’s perhaps the most impressive thing about The King of Fighters XIV is that the game has managed to do what many thought was impossible by putting SNK back on the map as a world class developer.

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You’ll be promised hours of new content as you work towards those victory points, earning ranks and outfits to change up gameplay and unlock new and more complicated songs to beat to the beat!

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Though it still has some minor quirks, The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel II is a big step up from the previous chapter in the large political drama surrounding the land of Erebonia. What I have experienced is nothing short of amazing work on both Falcom’s and XSEED’s part. Whether you own a PlayStation 3, a Vita, or both (this game also supports Cross Saves), you owe it to yourself to give this series a look. As mentioned earlier, do check out the first part of the story before diving into this one. It will give you a far greater appreciation for the story if you do.

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Sep 15, 2016

Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse offers the full package not only in terms of 3DS games, but when it terms of JRPGs in their entirety. Armageddon may be something that you would normally want to avoid, but I can guarantee that this is the one end-of-the-world event that you’ll want to be in the very center of.

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5 / 5.0 - Yakuza 0
Jan 19, 2017

A modern masterpiece, Yakuza 0 is a game crafted with the meticulous care of the colorful irezumi that adorns the back of a hardened Japanese gangster, and stands as one of the most fun and emotional adventures I’ve played in years.

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May 8, 2017

Not only are you getting everything that Mario Kart 8 had to offer, you also get a few new characters, a greatly enhanced Battle mode, and the ability to play wherever you go.

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5 / 5.0 - Pyre
Aug 5, 2017

Pyre’s storytelling, fantasy-sports action RPG combat, grand sense of journeymanship and exquisite soundtrack all harmonize into a classical fable of a game that begs replays upon completion. I saved the Moonstruck girl with no name first of all, and saw the effect her absence left on each and every exile thereafter. Next time through, she’s going to stick around until the bitter end. Pyre is a thousand-stranded story. It ends in essentially the same place no matter what, but it hits the mark a lot of choice-based games miss. It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey.

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Jun 23, 2017

Look, guys, I’m trying to come up with something bad to say in the name of “objectivity,” but Serious Sam’s Bogus Detour (of all things) is as close as I’ve ever played to a flawless game.

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Sep 19, 2017

Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony is the culmination of both the franchise’s greatest strengths and flaws. Each class trial builds upon the rock-solid foundation of its predecessors, changing the formula just enough to keep players on the edge of their seats. If you think that Danganronpa V3 just looks like more of the same, the only thing I can tell you is: No, that’s wrong!

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Aug 30, 2017

When all is said and done, Ys VIII is an utterly engrossing and nostalgic adventure that no fan of the action-RPG genre should miss.

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I’m still not sure that you can ever really call a rhythm game “perfect,” but Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA Mega Mix is as closest to perfection as I’ve ever seen a rhythm game get. As much as I’m aware that Vocaloid music isn’t for everyone, I honestly can’t help but recommend that anyone into rhythm games do themselves a favor and at least give this game a chance. You’ll only be hurting yourself in the long run if you don’t!

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5 / 5.0 - Persona 5 Royal
Mar 17, 2020

By this point, it’s fair to say that I’ve talked, ad nauseam, about Persona 5 Royal. But for those of you wanting a TL;DR, here it is: Persona 5 Royal is an absolutely, positively fantastic experience, and anyone who considers themselves to be a fan of the series would be doing themselves a disservice if they didn’t pick it up. I may not know what lies in the future for the Phantom Thieves, but if this game’s any indicator, things are looking very good.

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If you’re a Kunio-kun or Double Dragon fan, or both, then this is the bundle you’ve been waiting so long for. This is the game that I personally would take with me if I were going to be stranded on a deserted island. Everything about this bundle is perfect. So dust off those knuckles and prepare your Dragon Feet, because Kunio-kun is now officially stateside!

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5 / 5.0 - Death and Taxes
Feb 20, 2020

Death and Taxes has so much more going for it than I’ve even been able to discuss. The art style is fantastic, the voice acting is perfection, the music is brilliant, and the mechanic is sure to delight any Papers, Please fans. But what really, really stuck with me was not only how it dove deeply into existentialism in an entertaining way that didn’t get mired in the macabre, but how it quietly — so subtle, you could miss it — elevated the feel right back up at the end, aligning morals back to a human scale and setting the expectation and desire to do better.

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5 / 5.0 - Coffee Talk
Jan 31, 2020

Coffee Talk may remind players of The Red Strings Club or VA-11 HALL-A, and while it certainly looks the part, it’s as different as a cocktail is from a cappuccino. If you understand the absolute joy that comes from sipping your favorite brew in a coffee shop window, listening to lo fi beats as you watch city lights twinkle while rain lightly falls from the heavens, you will immediately understand Coffee Talk. Perhaps it’s an acquired taste; those with refined palates will easily see how perfect Coffee Talk is — not too sweet, not too bitter — but a bold, refreshing experience that leaves players immensely satisfied until the very last drop.

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Nihon Falcom’s Trails of Cold Steel proudly stands amongst the few which can truly be considered to be at the pinnacle of the modern-day, story-driven JRPG, and it was truly wonderful seeing the culmination of the series’ work within The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel IV.

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