As a mindless distraction played while mentally checked out, Dead Island 2 has merit. It is enjoyable for good periods of time, and it’s done a solid job of refining the messy hack n’ slash of the original game while improving ranged combat alongside it. As fun as all the zombie slaying can be, however, an intense lack of variety coupled with dreary exploration is outright exhausting at times, and I wouldn’t blame any player for moving on long before finishing the story. It’s not a game that’s entertaining while it lasts - it’s entertaining while you last.
Dredge reeled me in to the point I sunk hours into it, and even if my patience floundered at times, the net experience was fun to tackle. While its content isn't stuffed to the gills, it’s hard to be crabby with a gameplay loop that had me hooked, and the intriguing horror angle perched on top of a swimmingly good adventure is worth wading into. It doesn’t have to fish for compliments, but since I’m trawling for puns and you’re probably salty about it, I’ll wave goodbye and say that Dredge isn’t crappie. Sea you later!
Again though, I really must stress that this is a great game. It’s more serious, and suffers in comparison as a result, but its wealth of additional content, its few minor adjustments to an already terrific combat system, and the sheer excuse to enjoy Resident Evil 4 in another way makes this is a worthy title indeed.
Fatal Frame: Mask of the Lunar Eclipse is an interesting snapshot of a time gone by, but that’s essentially the only intriguing thing about it. More an historical curio than a game worth playing on any kind of merit, its torturous pace and general lifelessness absolutely murder any sense of tension or basic intellectual involvement. A plodding narrative, as well a disgraceful amount of backtracking, serve only to enhance the ennui.
Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe is a great time. The remake is faithful in the ways that count and adds enough new content to be well worth revisiting, even if that content isn’t universally brilliant. I could take or leave the theme park conceit, and I wish the Mecha ability was as good as Sand, but with an enjoyable epilogue campaign and a bunch of unlockable masks that I couldn’t stop thinking about, there’s no denying this is a remake that puts the work in to justify itself. I like it when things do that.
In all the ways “open world” could be used as a pejorative, Forspoken excels.
Theatrhythm: Final Bar Line is a delight, and a massive time sink that I don’t regret spending hours on. From its colorful visuals to the excellently presented music and the simple yet challenging rhythm action itself, there’s a ton to love about the latest game in a series I was already hooked on. The massive collection of characters to unlock and loot to gather enhances the game tremendously, while the rewarding multiplayer is just a lovely extra on top. If the DLC wasn’t so vast I’d have almost nothing to criticize outside of a desire for more considered accessibility settings. Even then, the base game truly does have more going for it than the majority of mainstream games charging twenty bucks more.
Metroid Prime Remastered is a faithful beat-for-beat recreation of the GameCube classic with a comprehensively polished visual makeover. It remains a solid adventure shooter, even if its straightforward approach to player progress is a little unexciting these days. I’ve certainly not hated my time with it, though I do hate its refusal to properly credit the team that worked on the original.
Everything good about Dead Space 2023’s basic gameplay, combat, and narrative is a result of what Dead Space 2008 built. Most of what this remake adds is either less appealing artistic alterations or side content that generally amounts to unnecessary padding, and quite frankly I’d have been more interested in a remaster than a glitchy new take that’s less enjoyable and costs more. When you add the repulsive context of EA benefiting from a series it once destroyed right down to the developer, you get a game that leaves a sour bloody taste, even if it’s an acceptable mimicry of its predecessor.
Lil Gator Game is charm incarnate. Deftly, exceptionally charming. With its sincere, sweet little story and perfectly dorky humor, it provides a wonderfully enchanting adventure that kept me grinning and tittering all the way through. More importantly than anything else, Lil Gator Game made me happy. I’m damn happy this adorable goofiness exists, and while I’m sad I ran out of things to do, I’m delighted by everything I did.
Choo Choo Charles reminds me of a movie by Full Moon Studios - like Demonic Toys, Hideous, or Head of the Family, it’s an entertaining “what if?” concept that just isn’t enough to support an entire piece of media. With basic gameplay comparable to any number of low budget horror titles, it’s a fun idea and absolutely nothing besides. I wish it had more to offer, but like so many joke games before it, we already got the punchline when we saw the trailer and there’s nothing the gameplay adds on top of it. To be brutally honest, Choo Choo Charles would have been better as a fake game, or at the very least nothing would have changed if it was.
The most fun I had with High on Life was watching the entirety of Tammy and the T-Rex on an in-game television, and that’s not a compliment. It’s indicative of a game that doesn’t know how to exploit the interactivity of videogames and settles instead on yelling ideas as unsubtly as possible. With its relentless avalanche of jokes and screeches, it’ll talk your ears off but has exactly zero bite to go with its cacophonous barking. Its best ideas are borrowed from elsewhere. Its worst ideas are borrowed from elsewhere. The aggressively layered comedy is a smokescreen for the fact it's got nothing else going for it. It’s a clamorous joke delivery vehicle in which your role as a player is to passively observe and occasionally shoot stuff. You might as well sit down and watch TV.
The Last Oricru is a masterpiece of bad design. When a game has to warn its players not to invest in half the available skill points because they’re worthless, you know you’ve got something special, and that’s what Oricru is - special. It’s so profoundly wrong it deserves to be studied, dissected, remembered for years. Its creators should tour universities and give talks about their artistic philosophies so future generations can learn how never to make a videogame. If you’d told me aliens had developed it, I’d struggle to argue, such is the incomprehensible absurdity on display.
The Callisto Protocol isn’t scary. It isn’t fun. It isn’t entertaining, fascinating, or mildly enriching. It lays a self-entitled claim to Dead Space’s stylistic and mechanical elements yet wields not a single one with grace, instead performing a crude pantomime.
Evil West is the kind of beautiful trash I wish we had more of. It’s a ridiculous game in service to a purpose no higher than smashing monsters to gloopy bits, and by God do I admire that. While at times combat balance is uneven, any such moment is made up for by a terrific weapon set, extravagant finishers, and an immediacy of offense that ensures the action never wavers.
Scarlet and Violet is a pair of obviously rushed products that look so much poorer for following an excellent refreshment in Pokémon Legends: Arceus. Regressive and outmoded, the ninth Pokémon generation still boasts some enjoyable content but I couldn’t in good faith say it’s a quality experience. The utterly shameful performance issues hammer home how crudely made it is. It’s staggering just how terribly it runs. We’ve pilloried games for less, but we’re supposed to just accept it here because it’s Pokémon.
God of War Ragnarök is truly excellent. Quality seeps out of the thing, with so much effort put into even its less consequential elements. Richly detailed, terrifically written, all with a massively entertaining blend of combat and puzzles. The overwhelming amount of content can most certainly grow tiring at points and there are moments of disruptive meandering. Nevertheless, for a game to offer so much and retain such a high caliber is worthy of applause.
Sonic Frontiers is broken beyond belief with mechanics that barely work and a camera so disastrous it’s literally sickening. The “Open Zones” are disjointed, unpopulated wastelands that do less than nothing to justify their depressing existence. An unpleasant mess, looking and feeling like a mishmash of disparate assets duct taped together, and that’s before we consider the damning amount of recycled content. It’s honestly embarrassing that any professional studio could have made something so cheap, so sad, and so thoroughly incompetent. Even by Sonic Team’s low standards, this is pathetic.
Fundamentally, Signalis is an accomplished emulation of PSX survival horror. Its graphics are both authentic to the era and perfectly disturbing. Taking place in a fascinating world and populated by threatening creatures, it’s a game I very much wish I could enjoy more than I did. The crushing limitation on the player’s inventory coupled with a reliance on memory puzzles that represent a genuine accessibility issue put me off wanting to ever play the game again to get an ending more satisfying than the rather unfulfilling conclusion I got. That’s a real shame, because it’s still one of the best retraux survival horrors out there. It’s just not good enough for me to love it like I want to.
Bayonetta 3 is a good time when it allows itself to be. It consists of an excellent core experience buried under superfluous bilge, an otherwise quality experience interrupting itself to such a degree as to drag down the entire experience. The high notes are high enough to ensure a genuinely quality game, but the incessant sidetracking into mediocre stealth gameplay, mundane alternate characters, and half a dozen other deviations holds it back from being truly great. Thank god for trainsaws and spider women though, because they do a heck of a lot to keep this game entertaining.