Windjammers 2 is the jeep full of beach-bound hardbodies to my chubby, brooding, long-sleeved wallflower. Its mechanics, while taught in the most obtuse and uninteractive way possible, are more robust than they initially appear. It doesn't last, but it's fun while it does.
It's getting a middling score, but I implore you: do not play this game. Do not encourage this lack of creativity with your money. At some point, we need to get off of this treadmill of worthless unartistic experiences and demand more. THKM is the perfect example of a treadmill game, a deja vu-inducing experience that means nothing. It's a pretty love letter to a niche film genre, and that's all it is. Maybe it's not meant for us, but in that case, don't make us play it. It feels like nothing, gives nothing, and doesn't advance the form in any meaningful way. It rehashes concepts that have been rehashed since 2013.
SuperEpic has nowhere to go after it comes screaming out of the gate. Its engaging initial gameplay never really evolves past button-mashing. Decent sprite work is derailed by environments that are so bland as to defy recollection. Its own commentary on the bereftness of mobile games ends up being a commentary on itself, and leaves you a lonely, wandering shell, questioning your gaming habits, your existence...everything.
Unruly Heroes is a game of boinks and swooshes. Everything bounces around weightlessly and nothing makes sense. The rhinoceroses don't charge, the spears don't chunk into wood, and the thrown enemies have no impact whatsoever. The voice acting is aggressively bad, the writing is lifeless, and the game itself is devoid of personality. It is white bread. It is room-temp tap water. It is not worth your time.