John Cal McCormick's Reviews
Tiny Tina's Wonderlands retains the inherently entertaining shootin' and lootin' gameplay that the Borderlands series is known for, but you're frequently held back from enjoying it because of repetitive missions, tedious busywork, oodles of padding, and the game's relentless need to be funny. It's characters won't shut up, frequently stopping you playing so it can perform another inane comedy routine that limply, embarrassingly fizzles out like a deflating corpse, farting decomposition gases to the tune of "Ta-dah!"
Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin thinks that it's Daniel Craig's James Bond but it's actually Austin Powers. There's barely a moment in the game that isn't stretching credulity, be it the absurd writing, bewildering story, or inane characters. There's a host of technical issues, too. But somehow, despite everything, it manages to fail upwards and be a pretty good time. Maybe we've lost the plot but we liked it.
There's no mechanics, really, to speak of. There's no combat for us to discuss. You can't even jump on command — only at specific places. Submerged is a chillout experience about exploration with a slight story and basically nothing else, and honestly, we're okay with that. Not everything has to be explosions or sad-times-my-kid-died-and-now-I've-grown-a-beard depressing drama. Pop on Submberged as a palette cleanser between more involved titles or as an escape from the horror of reality and you'll be fine. This is fine.
The story is slight, the acting is rubbish, and the special effects are merely effects. The synthwave soundtrack is actually really good. It lasts an hour and change which, like most Wales Interactive movie-games, is absolutely perfect. You probably already know if you think you're going to like this, and if you do you're probably right. We liked it, but mainly for the wrong reasons.
For existing fans, this no-frills remaster is the best way to experience the 2010 game on modern consoles, but in 2021, much of the title simply doesn't hold up. Without the benefit of nostalgia, Alan Wake doesn't work as horror because it's not scary, as a thriller because long stretches of the game are fantastically boring, or as an action game because the combat is uninspired and repetitive. There's an interesting central mystery here, but like Alan Wake himself, you'll have to go through hell to find it.
The game does land one or two emotional blows towards the end, but getting to those moments requires a lot of walking — sometimes with only a vague idea of where you’re supposed to be going — and watching dull conversations unfold. Where the Heart Leads is too long, with huge stretches that give you little to do, and in the end you might be questioning whether it was all worth it. That’s life.
Each chapter of Stories Untold is framed like an episode of a Twilight Zone-style anthology television show, replete with a killer John Carpenter-esque synth-backed intro. It pays more than a passing nod to the introduction to hit show Stranger Things, but it's undeniably cool, and we'd love to see an Untold Stories 2 that continued the theme, only with a more consistent episode quality.
Gameplay-wise, as an employee of Cloudpunk you're expected to deliver packages around Nivalis, sometimes within a time limit. You'll do this by piloting your HOVA — a flying car that you can customise — around the city, keeping an eye on both how much gas you've got left and whether your vehicle needs any repairs. It's simple and straight-forward, and it amuses just enough to keep Cloudpunk from dragging during it's nigh 10-hour running time.
Just Cause 4's traversal system can be wonderfully entertaining, and the chaotic, explosion-sim physics in play are frequently exhilarating, but they're manacled to a game that has absolutely no idea how best to use them. What's the point in giving players an array of tools that lets them cause wanton destruction on a gargantuan scale, and then designing a campaign full of drab, copy-pasted missions that barely require you to use them? It's a bit like getting the coolest BMX on the market for Christmas, but then your Mum tells you you're only allowed to ride it around the garden where she can keep an eye on you. Cheers, Mum.
Episode Four - Who Needs You showcases the best and worst of the Guardians series so far. The jokes repeatedly fall flat, the story is largely irrelevant, and the characters are still pale imitations of their big screen counterparts, but after a fantastically dull first hour, the episode manages to conjure up some surprisingly poignant moments in order to make the second half the highlight of the series so far. While it's by no means a home run, or even on par with much of what the studio has done in the past with other properties, the ending of Who Needs You has enough emotional weight to make it the best episode so far, leaving us with some hope that the upcoming finale might stick the landing for the series.
Fallen Legion isn't a home run. The story is somewhat trite and undercooked, and most of the cast are little more than stereotypes, but there's an earnest charm to the game that's hard to overlook, and the brevity of the campaign actually works in its favour. The frenetic combat is undoubtedly repetitive, but it's occasionally thrilling, and the choice system is well implemented and thought provoking. This won't change the mind of anybody who generally avoids action role-playing games, but for fans of the genre, there's enough here to warrant recommending Fallen Legion as a bite-size adventure to tackle between bigger games.
Poignant character moments and some impressive use of pop music make Under Pressure a better episode than Tangled Up In Blue, but still nowhere near the lofty heights that we know Telltale is capable of. There's enough good work here to indicate that by the time the series is over it'll have given us reasons to care about the cast and what they're up to, but if you're on the fence about whether or not to pick up the season pass, you're probably best waiting a little longer to make that decision. The series has potential, but whether it'll ever manage to escape the shadow of the movies it is so desperately trying to recreate remains to be seen.
Tangled Up in Blue lacks the narrative heft of many of the best Telltale games, and the individual Guardians aren't given enough to work with in the short running time to help distinguish them from the versions seen in the 2014 movie. There are flickers of hope – usually involving Rocket – that the characters will come into their own in future episodes, and some of the flashbacks and backstory hint that the storyline might go in interesting directions, but it feels like Guardians of the Galaxy-lite, lacking the irreverent humour, swashbuckling action, and the occasional heart of James Gunn's surprise hit.
PaRappa the Rapper Remastered is a time capsule from the late 90s – warts and all. The high-definition gloss might make the game look better than ever, but it can't mask how the genre has moved on in PaRappa's absence. The mechanics don't hold up against the competition of today, but the fantastic soundtrack, charming characters, and budget price should prove more than enough to get the nostalgia juices flowing in anyone who remembers the old dog's first outing 20 years ago. You gotta believe!
For those who have grown accustomed to the Telltale approach to adventure gaming, Dreamfall Chapters might prove to be too frustrating an experience to warrant persevering with, but for people who fondly remember trapping the infamous goat in Broken Sword or the rubber chicken zip-line in Monkey Island, it might provide a welcome dose of nostalgia.
Black Desert is rougher than a badger's behind, and the simple combat won't blow anyone's skirt up, but the game does have upsides. The world is fleshed out and fun to explore, the side activities are more amusing than the campaign, and the character creation is superb. This is the sort of game that will undoubtedly appeal to a small subset of people who are more than happy to accept the uglier technical issues as the admission price to a well realised world full of things to do.
In the end, Unepic would probably be a better adventure game. This twenty hour or so unabashedly old school RPG is frequently broken up by conversations between characters and these interactions are amusing enough to make the often finicky platforming and combat sections worth persevering with. As a whole, the game has enough charm to recommend to fans of the genre, and those that stick around will likely be impressed by the surprisingly deep RPG mechanics and the Metroidvania approach to level design. However, it's hard not to wonder if the quality of the writing on display here would be better served in a game with a stronger focus on storytelling.
Mass Effect: Andromeda is a great game buried under a mountain poor design choices and narrative shortcomings. Everything is more complicated than it needs to be, and the sheer amount of busy work forced upon the player is staggering, but if you can be bothered to put in a few hours doing the admin there are plenty of rewards for fans of the series. It's not the Mass Effect you were hoping for, and it doesn't live up to the high standard set by the original trilogy, but as a jumping off point for a new trilogy in a new galaxy there are enough promising characters and intriguing story elements to suggest the Andromeda 2 might be everything you wished this game would be.
Planet Zoo is, ironically, a relatively toothless park building game. It doesn't have the delicious chaos of the Jurassic World Evolution games or the thrills of building your own rollercoaster and then hoping it'll stay on the tracks in Planet Coaster. But it's a pleasant and charming game. There's an airy joy in creating a peaceful home for animals to live in, and the earnest conservationist slant of Planet Zoo is hard to fault.
Eternights' great success is that it manages to be more than the sum of its parts. The witty writing papers over the shakier aspects of the storytelling, the slight combat is used sparingly enough that its flaws rarely frustrate, and above all, it's got an undeniable charm despite its rough edges. We're swiping right on this one.