- Final Fantasy IX
- Metro 2033
- Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War
I’ve played games that I would call “not fun” in the past. Somehow, Milanoir is a whole massive leap beyond that. My first and most overwhelming thought is that this is one of the games the devil makes you play for committing one of the seven deadly sins. I don’t know, pride maybe. The fact that so many indie games can look at Hotline Miami and pull all the wrong lessons from it continues to baffle.
The game I played is an absolute technical disaster that barely runs. New elements haphazardly pop up with no consideration on how to fit them into the gameplay. Basics such as storytelling take a massive leap backward. Dynasty Warriors 9 isn't just bad. This is a Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 level series killer.
Sudden Strike 4 barely manages to work on even a basic level, with so many glitches constantly stopping my game. If there were no glitches and if there was a working control scheme then maybe, just maybe, Sudden Strike 4 would be a totally average World War 2 RTS that doesn't really stand out in any way. In its current state, it's just a horrid mess.
At several times while playing RollerCoaster Tycoon Joyride, I became convinced I died and this was my personal hell. In a world where we thought the worst RollerCoaster Tycoon game had already shipped, Joyride shows up to claim that spot.
Gene Rain is a combination of so many terrible elements that at times it's genuinely, completely, baffling. At one point a character says "Existence has long been considered the only value in humans." I'm not sure I agree with him, because the other value in humans is their ability to not play Gene Rain.
Farnham Fables' second episode has boring gameplay and a story that lacks anything related to an interesting conflict. It also has a strange soundtrack that cuts in and out to make random noises. Above all else, it has scenes that made me feel so uncomfortable that I genuinely believe it's time we have a chat with God about starting over as a species. We clearly don't deserve our sentience.
Having zero redeeming qualities is the best compliment I can give Overlord: Fellowship of Evil. It is, without a doubt, the worst video game I have ever played in my life and the only reason I'm not giving it a 0 is because, technically, it runs.