There is more to this game, a lot more, but I just don't care. Cladun Returns: This is Sengoku! can be played for hundreds of hours, but these are hours I want to spend with something I actually like. There are a lot of facets here, including quests I can take, a bizarre Fortify feature, an art studio where I can customize characters and gear, and time challenges for each of the dungeons that make up the story mode. Again, all of that I should enjoy, and yet it just does nothing for me. If you can get into this game — and I recommend you play the demo before you buy — you'll probably have a lot more fun than I did. Which is to say you'll have any amount of fun at all.
There is a certain type of person who is going to enjoy this, and Cooking Mama: Sweet Shot has the good fortune to arrive at a time when I write for Destructoid, a man whose basic enjoyment of video gaming is such a low bar to hurdle that it can essentially get a pass other writers probably wouldn't give it. I like the game, warts and all. Objectively, you should be able to tell for yourself it shows nary a whisper of growth or innovation since the series' debut. Subjectively, I'm somehow that giggling schoolgirl once more, fawning over a cake I just mini-gamed into existence.
If you love rhythm games, ignore the score below and pick it up for yourself because the music selection is outstanding overall and who knows when next we'll get something else like it. But know the game isn't nearly as good as it should be and you may spend far more time than you want repeating the same songs just to advance.
I'm sure there is a demographic out there that Urban Trial Freestyle 2 will appeal to, but it is clear to me now that I am not a part of that key demo. While I can appreciate what they were going for here and I found myself really getting into the challenge, any feeling of joy I experience doesn't last for long when I'm faced with so many bewildering design choices.
Bye-Bye BoxBoy! is being billed as the last of the BoxBoy! trilogy and if this is where things truly end I think that's for the better. Qbby is great and this monochrome world is wonderful, but I feel as though its basic puzzle formula is on the cusp of getting stale. If we do see more of this boxed boy, I hope his next adventure is something more substantial.
A Rose in the Twilight does a lot of things well. It crafts a story and a world that makes me care deeply about its central character, it’s visually spectacular when it’s not killing you with its hard-to-distinguish artwork, and it touches on moods and feelings that most other games don’t even attempt to venture into. For as much creativity as there is to be found throughout those aspects, there isn’t nearly enough in the actual gameplay. If the first half played more like the second half, it would have been an outstanding experience in spite of its short length.
Mario Sports Superstars is like a coworker everybody hates because they do just enough work to not get fired. It’s not a good game, not by a long shot, but it does just enough right that I can’t in good conscience call it outright bad. What I can call it is a lazy experience, one developed solely for the purpose of selling what are basically Mario-branded Topps cards. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to pour myself another drink.
There is no other way to put this: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is brilliant. It is magnificent. It is marvelous, amazing, fantastic, and every other synonym for the word wonderful that can be found in the thesaurus. If The Legend of Zelda was the flint that ignited the passion I have for video gaming, Breath of the Wild is the 500lb bag of charcoal that will keep that fire burning for decades to come.
Legend of the Skyfish is an inoffensive, cute, and simple puzzle game. Perhaps too simple as it honestly feels like this shouldn't be on Steam but on one of the Leapfrog gaming devices. I can appreciate any developer that finds inspiration in The Legend of Zelda, but inspiration can only take you so far. You need a little perspiration too, and I just didn't see enough sweat in this game.
Story of Seasons: Trio of Towns doesn’t reinvent the tractor wheel, but it does change it out for a more durable model. This game is built to last many, many seasons, and if you can get behind its quiet pace and an overabundance of content, you’ll find one of the most complete farm sims to ever hit a handheld device.
There is a very specific person I would recommend play Tank Troopers. If you have a 3DS, and you have five friends nearby who also have a 3DS, and you’re all interested in playing Tank Troopers, go ahead and buy it because you are the only type of gamer who will get the maximum enjoyment out it. For everyone else, it’s an easy pass.
If you own a Vita and a PS4, and you absolutely must buy this game, get it on the more powerful console. The portable version doesn’t cut it, and even without the janky presentation, the game itself is bare bones as a strategy RPG. I have no doubt the Dynasty Warriors franchise would make a splendid SRPG, but this ain't it.
Poochy & Yoshi's Woolly World is as fun on the 3DS as the original is on the Wii U. The levels are just as crafty as before, the visual take a slight hit but are still colorful and creative, and the soundtrack is so gosh darn charming. It's the best Yoshi game on the 3DS, and if you don't already own it on the Wii U, I would suggest picking it up.
The big adventure of Demetrios isn’t all that cynical, but it certainly is forgettable. I can’t say the game is bad, because it’s not, but also I certainly wouldn’t tell you it’s good. Instead, it’s nothing more than a name added to a list of titles I’ve beaten, and it will never be anything more than that.
The building blocks for something wonderful are there. I think the combination of Minecraft and farming is a winner, but more attention needs to be paid to the activities outside of planting and pulling crops if Harvest Moon ever wants to compete with the superior farm sims out there.
Disney Magical World 2 feels like an intro class into video gaming. There's a little bit of everything here, all of it aimed at younger, inexperienced gamers. For an old crust like me, it's easy to point out its flaws with the frame rate, inventory management, excess of load screens, and simplicity, but I don't think that will matter to younger players. And after helping plan a most wonderful party for the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood, it really didn't matter to me either.
Valkyrie Drive: Bhikkhuni reminds me a lot of Senran Kagura Burst in that it feels like a rough draft of greater things to come. The combat is there, and the game looks amazing, but with an overabundance of uninteresting plot and a lack of original or compelling personalities, I found myself skipping over more of the game than I should have in order to keep myself entertained.
From beginning to end I was completely entranced by these kids' quest to escape the horrors of Heavenly Host. Corpse Party has a timeless story built around solid characters and a genuinely creepy setting that is able to buoy its sometimes outdated gameplay.
There really isn't anything positive I can say about this game, outside of a few choice spots of interesting art direction. The level design is dull, the platforming is simplistic, the graphics look a few generations old, the RPG elements are basic, the music is forgettable, the enemies are pushovers, the difficulty is turned all the way to easy – I'm honestly at a loss for words. I would like to think I have this amazing vocabulary to intelligently convey just how abominable Touhou: Scarlet Curiosity is, but the best I can come up with is just calling it bad. This is a bad, bad game.
I still get chills thinking about my time with Yomawari: Night Alone. Whether it's a particularly scary moment that pops into my head or one of the many weird visuals that I just can't get out of my mind, this is a game that's going to stick with me for a while. I just wish there was more of it for me to remember.