I felt the care that went into making this game, from the suspenseful overarching narrative to the breathtaking visuals and malleable gameplay. Agent 47 is surprisingly personable, cracking jokes that wink at the fact that you're a hitman in disguise in high stakes situations. He also has a passion for cosplay that's embroidered into the way he operates, using fashion as stealth, blending into any room like a chameleon. When I embodied Agent 47, travelling from spectacular location to spectacular location to complete each dastardly deed on my checklist, I truly was Mr. Worldwide.
These days it's way too easy to get down in the dumps, doom scroll, and instantly complain about anything online; this game distracted me from that. It made me laugh, transporting my mind into a world where evil sentient emojis run a corrupt dating app, skeletons are motivational speakers, and goblins drink coffee from a pot. It gave me hope, and made me more optimistic at the prospect of real change, which can only happen when people respect each other, work together and rip it out of clutches of a CEO after slaying them with a giant sword.
Nostalgia and a new paint job aren't enough to save you from the dull, frustrating, and wonky experience that is SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated.