The Jimquisition
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Pony Island is bloody genius.
Amplitude does a solid little job of bringing back a Harmonix classic in mechanical terms, and it can be a fun distraction in small doses, but it just doesn't provide enough to sustain itself or its audience. With an expanded setlist, more genres outside of generic electronica, and some actual memorable songs, this could have been something special.
This is not so bad it's good. It's just plain bad, and there aren't enough giant insects in the world to convince me otherwise.
Devil's Third is the videogame equivalent of a sad little erection from an old man whose mind has not aged with his depreciating body. At best, it's a curious relic from a bygone era of videogames in terms of both mechanics and attitude. At most, it's an ugly and boring game where the most interesting aspect is the prevalence an of inconsistent framerate despite looking like garbage.
It's a shame that, yet again, unrestrained lust for money on the part of a publisher has worked so hard to undo the goodwill earned by the developer's hard work. The core of Rainbow Six Siege is great – it's a game I want to absolutely adore. But it's just not a game I can recommend right now. Not at this price. Not with Ubisoft's chicanery.
Just Cause 3 is okay. It's far from great, but it's not bad either. It's just a decent waste of time. You can expect to mine at least twenty hours from it, with far more on top if you get really into it. Personally, I feel there are far better ways to waste your time, but there are far worse too. The wing suit's cute, at least.
There are moments that make me scratch my head, infuriate me, and even make me cringe, but when I consider the layered mass that is Xenoblade Chronicles X, all I can think of how damn arresting it is. How much of it is there. How much of it is thoroughly enchanting.
The best way to describe Star Wars Battlefront, I feel, is to call it what it is – a good game that was deliberately designed to not be a great one. I wanted to rate it higher than this. Way higher. At least the online connection is mostly stable, though. As far as EA launches go, that's pretty amazing.
As a big fan of Telltale's work, and a Game of Thrones aficionado, I found this to be a dismal letdown. I expected better – hell, I at least expected to feel something at the end of this chapter. Instead, I feel nothing. I'm just completely apathetic to the whole thing, and I feel no reason to be excited about a second season because, well… it'll just be more of the same, if past experience is any indicator.
Thankfully, the main game itself is easily worth the price of admission. A gripping story in spite of its cliches, with an expanded serving of the gameplay that made Tomb Raider such a wild ride, Rise of the Tomb Raider is a damn fine sequel that does everything a sequel needs to do. What's more, it truly cements Lara's new adventures as a series with a solid future, and I'm excited to see where Croft and Trinity go next.
Fallout 4 is something special. Something special indeed. No, scratch that. It's downright S.P.E.C.I.A.L.
If you'd like to play a limp amalgamation of Deus Ex, Crysis,and BioShock with a multiplayer mode you've been able to play eight times in as many years, then Call of Duty: Black Ops III is definitely for you. For the rest of you, it's just another condom of a game to be spunked into and thrown in the trash.
The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes is a game that's far better than its shackles allow it to be. Even as hampered as it is by online chicanery and distinctly "Nintendo" hassles, it's still a great deal of fun and one of the best handheld online adventures you could undertake. It just requires some patience to get working, with a reward that's well worth it. Also, come on… it's gay as hell. And I kind of love that.
So yeah… Assassin's Creed Syndicate is actually good. Took 'em long enough.
Woolly World is still rather enjoyable in its own unassuming way. That way, however, is most certainly unassuming.
It takes a damn good game to stop me from pooping, and Downwell had me in its thrall as I desperately needed that crap. Desperately.
This could have been good. A dungeon crawler in the Overlord universe has some promise, but there's just nothing here. No satisfying loot drops. No expanding combat ability. Nothing but braindead, horrifically designed combat. Oh, and a few utterly insipid pressure-plate puzzles. Because those are always fun.
It commits perhaps the worst sin a horror game – or indeed any game – could commit. It is boring. Once you've made the audience yawn, you've lost your ability to frighten them forever.
Tales from the Borderlands has been brilliant, easily Telltale's finest work since season one of The Walking Dead, and somewhat superior in several ways.
Dragon Quest Heroes ... is a beautiful game that does more with the Warriors franchise than the main Warriors games have done in a long time. Despite putting hours and hours into the thing, I've got plenty yet to do, and I've enjoyed every second of it so far. Aside from some poor pacing decisions and a rather limp narrative, Tecmo Koei has made lightning strike twice by merging two franchises together in yet another surprisingly brilliant way.