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The Jimquisition

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378 games reviewed
67.7 average score
75 median score
45.8% of games recommended

The Jimquisition's Reviews

Nov 13, 2023

It’s the kind of game that makes the case for some sort of independent trading standards body in the game industry. I say this with all due gravity - The Game Mill should not have been allowed to sell Skull Island: Rise of Kong. In an industry with adequate customer protections, it should be recalled.

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4 / 10.0 - Alan Wake 2
Nov 10, 2023

I adored the first Alan Wake, and I’ve either loved or liked every Remedy game since then. This is the first time I’ve felt so displeased by the studio’s work I’ve actually been angry about it. The pompous writing, the shoehorned mechanics that push a tiresome narrative conceit over the quality of the narrative itself, the archaic combat, the amount of time it spends doing almost nothing, Alan Wake 2 is fucking insufferable most of the time.

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Nov 8, 2023

RoboCop: Rogue City may not boast the high production quality of a top level “AAA” videogame, but it’s more fun and shows more sincerity than most of them put together. What it lacks in polish it more than makes up for in its provision of fuss-free action with immensely satisfying weaponry alongside the occasional glimmer of witty writing. It’s nowhere near as beautifully satirical as the film from which it sprung, but it’s still made with clear love for the original, as well as a ton of sincerity.

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0.5 / 10.0 - Stray Souls
Nov 3, 2023

Stray Souls is easily one of the worst horror games ever made. The fascistic interests of its director aside, this is a defective product duct taped into a barely coherent mess of prepurchased assets, algorithmically generated art, and bargain bin genre tropes.

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Nov 1, 2023

Lords of the Fallen comes with some big caveats - it's designed to ambush the player in really snide ways, its boss distribution is erratic, and it really needs a proper map. Despite these annoyances, I’ve been utterly entrenched in a beautiful world, hooked on solid gameplay, and inspired by exquisite art direction. The persistent multiplayer is a treat, while the two-sided world makes for some clever navigation. It might be fundamentally unoriginal, but it heaps of ton of stuff onto that foundation.

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Oct 28, 2023

Super Mario Bros. Wonder is like a rapid firework display of ideas that never stops dazzling, throwing curveball after curveball and never lingering on a single concept. There’s something to be said for gameplay that doesn’t outstay it’s welcome, but often is the case that Wonder’s twists and tricks barely make it through the threshold before they leave, never to return. I’m impressed by what Wonder does, amazed at its drug-like wackiness, and left with a longing for some of that stuff to stick around longer than it does.

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Oct 24, 2023

Spider-Man 2 continues the high level of slickly presented entertainment seen with Insomniac’s first jaunt to Manhattan. Playing as the Spider-Men is yet to be anything other than beautiful, both figuratively and literally. Great as it may be, it's held back by some dodgy writing that fumbles its payoffs and dips too often into waffle. Between those moments of deflation, however, there is a truly gorgeous and absorbing game packed with delightful action where simply moving feels good.

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7.5 / 10.0 - Sonic Superstars
Oct 20, 2023

Sonic Superstars is the first decent mainline Sonic game since Sonic Forces (an objectively okay game as rated by civilized minds). A distilled descendent of the original lineage, Sonic Team’s rare display of restraint has resulted in a game that succeeds through the purity of its simplicity. However, the stark contrast of convoluted, tawdry boss fights offsets its positives significantly, contributing some truly offputting misery to an otherwise entertaining time.

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Oct 18, 2023

Warhammer 40,000: Darktide has a solid foundation that just needs more built atop it. Slaughtering legions of Chaos freaks is fun for a while, and the in-game chatter between characters is surprisingly funny to the point I was invested far more than I otherwise would’ve been. Sadly, the unbalanced classes and poorly paced missions, plus a complete lack of incentive to play after hitting the level cap stop it short of what one wants from a horde shooter.

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Oct 10, 2023

El Paso, Elsewhere does nothing new as a videogame - the whole point of it, in fact, is to do everything old. Despite revolving around the nucleus of a Max Payne homage and flatly refusing to flesh out the mechanics of a game from 2001, El Paso manages to transcend its skeletal concept thanks to an arresting presentation and brilliant story. Incredibly written with themes that speak to me on a deeply personal level, it compensates for its weaknesses as a game by simply being a brilliant piece of media.

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10 / 10.0 - Baldur's Gate 3
Oct 4, 2023

Baldur’s Gate 3 is truly exemplary, one of the few videogames in history that wholly deserve the universal acclaim heaped so freely upon releases above a certain marketing budget. The choices offered to the player in terms of both crafting an adventurer and influencing the story do an incredible job of translating Dungeons & Dragons to a form of interactive software that surpasses the loftiest expectation. The script is incredible, the gameplay beneath it downright luxurious. There won't be another like this in a long, long time.

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3 / 10.0 - MythForce
Sep 20, 2023

Mythforce is shallow and inauthentic, hiding its creative mundanity behind the insincere promise of retro silliness. This lack of artistic integrity is matched by a lack of quality control, awkwardly bolted together as it is with unrefined controls, dreadful performance, and archaic gameplay. At its very best, we have a boring and bland dungeon crawler of a distinctly unrewarding stripe, but it’s almost always far worse than that.

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Sep 19, 2023

This is a game that features the line, “It’s quieter than a mute nun’s pussy on Christmas,” and by the time you hear it you’ve been exposed to so much wildness it’s simply par for the course.

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8 / 10.0 - Lies of P
Sep 13, 2023

I love Lies of P until I don’t, but those less adoring moments are always followed by something that ropes me right back in. A slickly directed, beautifully presented game that takes the absurd concept of marrying Bloodborne to Pinocchio and commits so earnestly that it transcends the silly and just plain works. Difficulty spikes and dodgy pacing undermine it at key points, and some systems aren’t as useful as they should be, but none of that takes away from the high quality and the amount of imagination poured into what could’ve been just another Soulslike.

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4 / 10.0 - Starfield
Sep 8, 2023

Starfield is a shallow ocean, hiding its lack of creative ambition behind the physical size of a universe that’s minuscule where it counts.

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Aug 30, 2023

Immortals of Aveum is so derivative as to make me question the accuracy of the word “uninspired” - this game absolutely is inspired. It’s taken so much inspiration from so much existing media there’s not a single unique element. Less of a story and more the creative slag oozing from a smelter full of adventure tropes, its narrative is matched in banality only by its gameplay. A bog standard, repetitive shooter that offers nothing new and does none of the old stuff well enough to justify doing it.

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Aug 23, 2023

My Friendly Neighborhood offers a unique execution of a conceit that’s otherwise become trite among horror games. Taking the “spooky kiddy thing” idea and pulling it onto a framework built from equal parts BioShock and Resident Evil smartly separates it from the ocean of similar concepts in the genre, even if none of its individual components are particularly original. It’s sadly let down from a lack of variety and consequently runs too long, unable to stay fresh or surprising enough to sustain its runtime. However, it’s a fun ride while it lasts, and it’s story is charming enough to be worth seeing through to the end.

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Aug 21, 2023

The fact it’s also a really fun game about punching stuff is a bonus on top of an experience that’s just… well, I’ll say it again - Clash: Artifacts of Chaos is truly beautiful.

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It’s cheap from both a visual and combat standpoint, it’s unpleasant to control, and the incentives for enduring multiple “runs” are among the worst rewards and unlocks I’ve ever seen. All it accomplished was getting me to replay Shredder’s Revenge and Streets of Rage 4, two games that completely embarrass this sorry little thing.

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8 / 10.0 - Exoprimal
Jul 20, 2023

It’s Jurassic Earth Defense Overwatch War Z and it looks like it should be bad but it isn’t. I can’t be anything but impressed by that.

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