Garage Band Gamers
HomepageGarage Band Gamers's Reviews
Deadliest Catch: The Game is easily one of the worst games I have played this year, or any year for that matter. There is literally no redeeming feature here - fans of the show will likely be outraged at how badly the license has been handled, and simulation fans will be let down by the downright broken state this game was released in.
This is the video game equivalent of dipping crackers into milk.
Shines Over - The Damned is advertised as a horror walking sim adventure and doesn't really do any of the genres justice. The horror elements are there, the walking is minimal, and the adventure is nowhere to be found. It's a weird game, but one that fails to accomplish anything else.
Since a sledgehammer runs about $100 and destruction of property charges can vary depending on your location, Demolish & Build Classic is an affordable way to experience demolition work, but it’s much less entertaining than the real deal. This almost falls into the “so bad it’s good” territory, but the issues severely outweigh the positives. If you’re really looking for a demo sim, I would recommend the 2017 entry over this one, or you could just apply to work on a construction crew and get money in exchange for your time.
35mm is a game that shows promise, but largely feels rushed or unfinished. I can easily see something hidden behind the poor controls, dated visuals, and questionable design choices, but sadly, the cons severely outweigh the positives here.
As it stands, the Star Wars Battlefront Classic Collection is nothing more than a shameless cash grab that will eat up your money and your hard drive space and spit out nothing but frustration and annoyance in return. While it may be patched into a somewhat playable state in the future, it's currently in a state that I couldn't recommend even at a deep discount.
Despite having one of the more interesting premises in the past couple years, Mr. Prepper feels like a failure on almost every level due to the plague of bugs that result in this feeling like one of the most broken games I have ever played, at least on the Xbox family.
Submerged: Hidden Depths is a hard game for me to score, or recommend for that matter. It’s extremely short, clocking in around two hours and change, with little to offer in that time span. If you find combat or platforming to be difficult, this is the title for you. If you like a little more challenge, I would leave this dead in the water.
In the Silent Hill fan community, most of the post Team Silent games are shit on regularly and looked at like bastard children. I personally loved most of the entries, even if they lacked that spark that made the originals so damn satisfying. Initially, this felt like one of the best Western developed games in the series without the name attached, but by the time the credits rolled, I would say Stray Souls is only beaten out by how bad Shattered Memories was.
Since my experience is limited to the Xbox version of Anthology of Fear I would have to say this game is a pass for me, mostly due to the horrendous teeth extraction and complete inability to finish the game; however, I would recommend picking up the PC version if you have a machine that will run it since it does seem to be in working order. I wouldn’t put it up there with my own short list of indie-horror greats, but it’s worth a weekend viewing.
The one thing that the game has going for it is its narrative, despite the main character being intolerable.
I went into Wanted: Dead expecting to be an overpowered badass that ripped and tore through the opposition. It delivered for a fleeting moment, but quickly deteriorated...
About as much fun as an anal probe without consent or anesthesia.
There are a lot of retro games that stand the test of time: Resident Evil, Super Mario Bros, Halo: Combat Evolved, and so many others are timeless classics that most people could revisit and still love for the same reasons they did in the original. I feel like Tomb Raider isn't one of these and as a new player, I can't recommend Tomb Raider I-III Remastered unless you are someone who holds this as a fond memory, but it may be one better left in the past.
Dead Tomb isn’t a terrible NES tribute, but it isn’t one of the best out there either. I appreciate the effort put into being faithful to the 8-bit formula and also seeing Acclaim’s name appearing in the credits, as they were a standout brand from my childhood, but the gameplay didn’t live up to the pedigree for me.
At the end of the day, Hero Survival reminds me of all the times growing up when I’d ask my mom for McDonald’s on the way home and got that stereotypical response we all heard, “we have food at home.” In this instance, Vampire Survivors is the McDonald’s and Hero Survival is the ramen at home, but it’s from that discounted bulk pack that our family got because they forgot to include the flavor packets.
Bang-On Balls: Chronicles is silly, immature, and willing to laugh at itself for the sake of fun. It's a nice introduction to open world games for someone that's never played one, offering several unique settings and an accessible battle system. Despite its offerings though, it fails to live up to other contenders in the genre, especially when it comes to keeping the player hooked for long periods of time. Chances are if you beat it, you'll quickly roll along to the next thing instead of sticking around.
I may be in the minority on this one, but Rise of the Triad: Ludicrous Edition was a big miss for me. I couldn't get into the repetitive level design, fighting the same small pool of enemies, and dealing with one of the worst arsenals in first-person gaming. The only redeeming feature for me was the ability to play as a dog, which was something that was short-lived as the novelty wore off within a few levels.
I easily spent more time sitting in lobbies and loading screens than in the actual game. In one instance I cycled through lobby after lobby for more than an hour failing time and time again due to either a disconnect, not enough players, or when I was holding my ground in an attempt to try out the last of the characters I hadn’t got to in my other sessions. The success of the game will likely hinge on how the online community runs with it, and since there isn’t an offline component, there’s a good possibility this will be dead on arrival and will shred your money like a chainsaw to the gut.
If you’re familiar with SWERY games and enjoy them, definitely check this out. If you’re not, and you can’t stomach games that aren’t polished, maybe watch a play through online instead.