Leonardo Faria's Reviews
Finally, I do appreciate how the artists tried to promote their (bad, but funny) music with a video game. A terrible video game, granted, but that’s still somewhat commendable. Don’t get me wrong, Whiteboyz Wit Attitude: The Pursuit of Money is awful, but I still think you should give it a try. I’ve played worse games and had to pay for them.
There are very small hints of a brilliant game in Disaster Report 4, but they’re quickly overshadowed by terrible graphics, controls, characters, and one of the worst framerates I’ve ever seen in a PS4 game.
From its overly sensitive controls to its questionable design choices, Krimson managed to irritate me throughout my entire gameplay. Not even its metal soundtrack, which should have been a slam dunk to my ears, managed to make this utterly irritating experience stand out in a positive way. It’s almost as if it was intentionally crafted to annoy me in every conceivable way. I simply cannot recommend it. Even if you like loud, abrasive and challenging games, there are better options elsewhere. This is just unnecessary sensory overload for the sake of it.
Yeah, this one is impossible to defend. The Walking Dead: Destinies is just truly bad. Granted, it might not be the worst game I’ve played in 2023, by a mile, but it’s a borderline charming exercise in incompetence. With poor combat mechanics, uninspired level design, and an enemy AI so (fittingly) brain-dead you can literally complete levels by simply walking by a horde of zombies, this game fails at being scary, tense, or even a great companion piece to The Walking Dead franchise.
Gothic is the kind of ultra-janky game you’ll most likely grab on Steam or GOG, at a monstrous discount, at maybe two dollars during a sale, and play for a few hours whilst trying to cope with dated visuals, controls, physics, and so on. This is NOT the kind of game that deserves being sold for thirty bucks on the eShop, with little to no improvements, and a control scheme that just showcases this has always been meant to be played with a mouse and keyboard.
Just by reading the name of the title, you can already expect that Baby Shark: Sing & Swim Party isn’t a good time. Granted, it is not the worst thing in the world, and not even the worst game made for toddlers out there (Race with Ryan exists, after all), but it is a boring, shallow, repetitive experience that goes on for way too long, featuring some of the worst musical compositions these poor ears have ever endured.
I’m not going to say that Pretty Girls 2048 Strike is terrible because, honestly, it isn’t. Especially when compared to some other atrocious games released by the same publisher in recent times. Sadly, it’s just very unnecessary. By the time the game becomes somewhat challenging and interesting, you’ll be wondering why the hell weren’t you just playing 2048 on your phone, for free, while doing something else at the same time.
It fails as a challenging first-person shooter, it fails as a comedic game (using LOLZ in your dialogue doesn’t make you funny), and it fails, to a lesser degree, as a retro homage to the Nintendo 64 era. There is a good chance you have never heard of it prior to this review, and sadly, I think it’s best if you keep unaware of it. It’s no offensively bad, but I cannot think of a single redeeming factor. Not even the inclusion of capybaras… for the “LOLZ”.
This is the bad kind of Switch port of a mobile game. This is the kind of game you just ask yourself “why would I want to play this anywhere other than a phone?” It features little to no graphics, sound, or anything else that would require the bare minimum of attention needed to play a mobile game for a couple of minutes at a time. With a portable system with a library as vast as the Nintendo Switch’s, Understand does very little to convince you to give it a shot.
Destroy All Humans! – Clone Carnage is worse than dead on arrival. The thing had already rotted beyond recognition before launch. Online lobbies are absolutely deserted, there are no bots, and playing this locally, while possible, is boring. The worst part about this title as a whole is the fact THQ Nordic decided to release it as a standalone expansion that doesn’t require the base game at all. Not only does it cost more than your average DLC deal, but that also means it’s susceptible to being treated as a game of its own. And as a game of its own, this is an embarrassment.
Why Pizza? might be wacky and unique (for better or worse) in terms of its presentation, but at the end of the day this is yet another subpar indie platformer whose sole selling point is giving hoarders and compulsive completionists another easy platinum trophy in less than half an hour. No matter how unsettling its presentation is, there are literal hundreds of games like this one out in the market, a good chunk of them offering a lot more polish and bang for your buck.
It’s sad to see such a promising idea for a game fall flat like this one. Music Racer: Ultimate could have been a somewhat worthy successor to Audiosurf if only the act of looking for a custom song to play in it wasn’t such a nightmare, all thanks to a terrible UI and search functionality. The seizure-inducing visuals and tracks that rarely match the beat of the song didn’t help either.
Street Outlaws 2: Winner Takes All is the wrong kind of licensed shovelware. It’s the one that, no matter how much effort had been put in its design and mechanics, nothing decent would have ever come out of it because its source of inspiration was already bland and insipid to begin with. It’s a stupidly expensive (and poorly made) game centered around ten second races.
I don’t even think that technical issues and poor level design are Yuoni‘s biggest issues. It’s just not scary at all. It doesn’t have a bad story, but the way it’s told neuters it potential potency. It’s less of a horror game and more of an underwhelming stealth adventure through dark corridors, where you have to occasionally get past a few shiny children and unkillable enemies.
Akiba’s Trip: Hellbound & Debriefed will be reviled by many people for its dumb premise, but its perverted combat system isn’t even what’s most egregious about it. It’s an underwhelming remaster of a PSP game that doesn’t look nor perform much better than its 2011 counterpart, which was already an underwhelming technical achievement at the time.
This could, nay, SHOULD have been a killer action game had the developers had more time to fix its literal dozens of glaring issues and huge emphasis on (bland) storytelling. This game just wasn’t ready for release. Hell, it was barely ready to be considered a beta build of a AA title. I also don’t think patches can fix all of its problems. As it stands, this one just failed miserably in its delivery.
The XIII remake is best described as absolutely incompetent. A game from 2020 shouldn’t look, play, sound, and perform worse than a 2003 title that wasn’t even that hardware demanding back in the day to begin with. I am baffled with how unfinished and unpolished this game is. I may have played worse games this year, but I seriously doubt any of them, be it Fast & Furious or Road Bustle, infuriated me as much as this remake. The more I play it, the more I loathe it.
I truly question Airplane Mode‘s existence, but I have to praise its developers for being upfront and honest with it. It’s incredibly boring, but so is being stuck inside an airplane for six hours in real life. This game can be called lots of things, such as a waste of time and an act of hubris, but it’s definitely not false advertising. This is a very accurate portrayal of what you can (and cannot) do while traveling in economy class, for better or for worse.
Metamorphosis has a great premise and a very intelligent story. I’m not gonna lie, playing as a bug in a first-person perspective was impressive at first. Too bad this one of the most unpolished games I have ever played in my life.
This is far from being the worst game I’ve played in recent memory and I respect the hardships of having to develop a game by yourself, but Prehistoric Dude really needed more time in the oven.