If you were already rooting for babies to get diseases and now want to profit from it, I’ve got great news. Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator is ready to take your galactic credits as you confidently bet that some kid is going to have the worst time ever. Follow percentages, heed advisors and bet big, because there’s nothing like the thrill of watching a number line go up and down. Well, probably for someone. Me, I’m going to go play something else, numbers are hard.
Ratatan is an aural blast of excitement and entertainment. It has so many fantastic qualities that keep me locked in and instills the “one more run” hook that makes me want to keep going. There are parts that need improvement, and I’m curious if the online mode will be influential on the game’s longevity or merely be a curiosity. Knowing what this is, not what you hope it could be, is what makes it enjoyable and addicting.
If you already own Dragon Quest XI S, then you’ll be hard pressed to come up with a reason to buy it again. The upgraded fidelity is beautiful, no doubt, but it might not be enough to double dip. But if you’ve missed out previously and have a Switch 2, I would, without hesitation, recommend getting this new and more beautiful version of the game.
Deck of Haunts is unwieldy if you plan to use any strategy beyond brute forcing your non-augmented house through all 28 nights. Maybe it works, but I wanted to try and actually play the game, and I couldn’t. It was like giving a deep tissue massage while wearing oven mitts. Maybe I was making progress, but it was more work than it had to be and now my hands are all cramped up.
Middle-earth: Shadow of War was an amazing feat at release, and this modern publication underlines the strengths within. The action, the systems and the expansive world are all incredible, and conforms to be either a brutal breeze for relaxed players or a challenging game of strategy at higher difficulty levels. It has its faults, and I don’t personally subscribe to the degree of untamed energy, but it can be wildly fun in the moment, and Middle-earth fans deserve great games after some really rough releases.
This might be one of the best places for new players to get a juicy taste of musou. It’s got the grit, the havoc, the majesty and the might without being overwhelming, comical or hyper detailed. The entirety hinges on your ability to conduct yourself in war and lead others to victory. You set a good example and watch everyone else fall in line. You trust your generals and your troops and set out to do what you need to do.
Eh. That’s all. It was fun enough, but it was also repetitive and pretty shallow. I’d play it again in the future if there’s more content to role out or an expansion of the game modes, but I’m one and done otherwise.
Just because I can’t buy Jollibee doesn’t mean I’ll refuse KFC. And Nicholas Cage’s acting is pretty middling in National Treasure, but I’ll definitely watch that all the way through because it’s a fantastic film (seriously, you want the best Cage, you watch Bringing Out the Dead). For me, that’s my stance on Geppy-X. There are issues with the gameplay, but the package more than makes up for what it lacks. It might not be the strongest shooter, but it’s definitely the most fun for me.
I cannot, in good faith, tell you that BRAZILIAN DRUG DEALER BEFORE 4 is going to change your life for the better. I’m not going to say you can use this game in lieu of Babbel before a trip abroad, but it shines insight in the same way playing D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die gives you a terrible idea of what Boston and its people are like. But I can say this is the best five dollars you can spend on Steam right now.
While this might not be for everyone, if you grew up in an era where four AA batteries and a clip on light were your nightly routine, then you might find a nugget of memory echoing across the pixels and landscape within this game. I enjoyed it, and I hope you give My Friendly Little Island Deluxe a chance to delight you as well.
A game of varying tempo, Monowave brings you in with novel ideas and adorable characters and keeps you locked onto discovering solutions, finding shinies and creating a “one more stage” loop that you’re happy to fall into.
It’s weird, it’s different, but it’s surprisingly well executed and has an upbeat cheer that straddles the line of plasticine without ever going too saccharine. It works, and I think it would work even better on PC, but still works great on Switch 2. I actually really liked hunting around to fix problems with bullets and patience, and I would definitely play some DLC if it ever came out. But man, I really gotta meditate on my position in the world after this one.
We’re already dealing with minotaurs and rolling bone wheels, might as well tear open the heavens in the process. It’s a bit dumb, but it’s such an enjoyable dumb that you can get drawn in fairly quickly. With a decent fantasy soundtrack that doesn’t feel cookie cutter and an inarguably unique art direction, Blades and Battles stands proudly to represent what I can only classify as Arthurian fanfiction.
Shapefarm has created something magnificent, if challenging, and it’s a clear invitation to fans the world over. It’s a change, but a wonderful one. As Sadie Williams said, “I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” So let’s venture into this new dark together. It’s unknown, but we have each other, and that means the whole damn universe.
Dungeon Antiqua never pretends to be something it isn’t, and the result is a short, pleasant and ultimately presentable piece. It’s got plenty of love for the era it seeks to capture, along with some novel takes on additional elements to make the replay at least somewhat enticing. If you just want to really indulge in some simple, nostalgic dungeon crawling like you did back on the NES days, then Dungeon Antiqua will fit nicely into your collection.
Horripilant is interesting, there’s no disputing that. The design is awesome, I love the graphics. I love that the avatars are all from other Black Lantern Collective titles. But this could have and should have stayed on PC. Trying to do this on a console is so bizarrely tiresome and pointless. You need hours upon hours of truly wasted time to find out what’s happening, and you could just scrub through a YouTube video to find out instead. This is for PC: it doesn’t belong on consoles.
Blood Dungeon is a fun, ridiculous cycle of enjoyable pain. The visuals and music keep your blood pumping even as it drains over the cobblestones. The weaponry is equal parts deadly and dope, and I never had a run where I was dissatisfied with the outcome. Messhof has crafted a loop that builds incrementally to a glorious crescendo of havoc, destruction and bones for everyone. There’s genuine excitement, abject stupidity and a serious sense of satisfaction when you finally get 10,000 bones for that jump enhancement.
Ground Zero Hero is fast, frantic and funny. It’s got real notes of unhinged humor, works great on Switch 2 (some minor stuttering when things get super busy) and is a great pick-up-and-play title. It doesn’t expand as much as I’d like, but the different worlds, missions and upgrades will give you hours of explosive, bonkers entertainment.
Kinki Spiritual Affairs Bureau is a message of unadulterated love and carnage. It’s unflinching in its deliberate obtuse nature, and it has all the grace of a two legged horse typing out the Unibomber’s Manifesto. It’s got the best representation of a government official since Bad Lieutenant and somehow more crass. The heavy metal soundtrack couldn’t feel more awkward if it asked you to prom during your grandmother’s funeral, but holy hell do you respect the boldness. If the characters spoke, I would expect at least one voice to be Maria Bamford. You both support and feel sorry for Shiraishi, and she will ruin your sympathy with her next breath. It’s art, and it’s comedy, and it’s how I hope my family will deal with my vengeful spirit after my passing.
If you’re waiting for the console release, Steins;Gate Re:Boot won’t be out until October, but PC fans have only another week to wait for the new version to be out. For those who’ve held torches, your long watch is nearly over. Re:Boot is the definitive edition of Steins;Gate, and is a word of love for both the characters within and the fans throughout. It’s an incredible rendition of a beloved tale, and it still feels as fresh, surprising and engrossing as it did years ago. Be ready to dive back in and take control of your future and your past: this present contains some amazing gifts.