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It's those three minutes that really count, though, and it's there you'll find the genius and the joy of Splatoon. It's where you'll find a genre distilled, broken down and reassembled, with each piece snapping perfectly in place. It's where you'll find Nintendo charting new territory, and sharing with you the thrills of their own discovery. And it's where you'll find what happens when Mario's maker steps away from the comfort of the Mushroom Kingdom and tries something new: a true modern classic, and one of Nintendo's finest games in a generation.
Basically, the game asks a lot of you, and demands that you pay close attention to every decision you make. While that makes for a steep learning curve, requiring deep thought is hardly the worst sin a strategy game can commit. Slyly funny, satisfyingly deep and yet slick and simple to play, Massive Chalice is a huge return to form for a studio that is overdue a comeback.
The opportunity here was to bundle up the wild brilliance of Magicka and finally deliver a campaign that was as exciting and unpredictable and astonishing as the powers you have at your disposal. Maybe next time.
To its credit Stainless has recognised the scale of the problem and has assured players than it is working to get the game in a stable condition as soon as possible. Until a decent performance can be assured for all, however, or until it's recalled back into Early Access, we have to advise caution.
There are moments of humour (you can, if you so choose, arrange Ortega's record collection by genre and title) and in time both you and your character grow attached to this unseen man whom you serve. The game elegantly communicates a very particular kind of relationship in the period world, in all of its power-dynamics and complexity. Some will inevitably find the lack of formal puzzles, collectibles or many of the other attributes of most contemporary video games off-putting. But Sunset, despite its minimalism, is a rare treat. It tells a story about revolution via the reflection of domesticity, an unusual and thrilling use of the video game medium, and one that expands both its scope and its definition.
Other minor issues aside, such as a need to develop the game's rather basic fleet management UI and a somewhat crippling arbitrary penalty that makes large-scale empire administration more of a chore than it should be, the game is well deserving of the GalCiv name and offers enough in the way of traditional features and modern scalability to secure the series' place at the very top of the 4X tech tree - if not for the five years that Stardock intend to adapt and add to the game, then at least until the next 4X game comes along in a few days time.
Like much of House of Wolves, it feels like part of a more harmonious relationship between Destiny and its players. So much of what has defined Destiny has come through that playful friction between the two - the loot cave, the deliberate disconnects to down Crota and all that glorious cheese - but now it feels like they're pulling together. This isn't a radical overhaul of Destiny, but it's a serious step in the right direction, and it's enough to suggest that the heroic comeback and more widespread adulation might not be too far off after all.
Neon Struct's greatest achievement though is in its brooding storyline, told through tense phone conversations, brief chats on the streets and, most vividly, through the sense of fear you feel when you're kicked out of a supporting institution of near-omniscient power, to a place of want and hiding. The narrative is told with a light touch (characters have names such as Vinod Chhibber and Director Furtwengler) but it feels weighty and relevant, without tipping into blunt moralising. The best kind of science fiction thriller then: one dressed in the style of the future, but engaged with the pressing issues of the present.
It will last you months, yet not waste your time. Above all, it has a vivid, enduring personality, something that is exceedingly rare among its breed of mega-budget open-world epics (and that will probably be rarer still once Hideo Kojima and Konami part ways later this year). For my money, it's the greatest role-playing game in years.
But Windward is neither of those things. After dozens of hours it still has you doing the same monotonous tasks you did at the very start, even as you claw your way to a slightly better ship in which to run your errands. For a game set on the deep blue sea, it's unforgivably shallow where it counts.
Not a Hero isn't perfect, but it does enough to confirm that Roll7 is a developer to watch. This is a game where the design principles shine through in every second of the action, foregrounded by a winning combination of clever visual tricks and slick production values. At times everything comes together and this is a delicious, feedback-heavy and flowing system - at others you'll be chewing the analogue stick in anger. Bunnylord, in other words, is a candidate with flaws. But still worth your support.
And once the final mission's done there's a scamper up the difficulty levels, alongside endless, custom and time attack modes, the latter of which works a bit like speed chess, but with people getting whacked over the head. In truth, while pleasant, this is a covering of the bases that Invisible, Inc doesn't really need. Much like the lives of one of its secret agents, this is a game defined by short, sharp thrills. It's so filled with purpose that is has no need to outstay its welcome.
If all that is expected of an expansion or spin-off is to deliver more of the same, then The Old Blood goes above and beyond its obligations. The decision to downplay the story elements does sometimes leave it feeling a bit overwhelming and stodgy - the textures and rhythms that made its predecessor such a sleeper hit simply aren't here - but as a lovingly crafted continuation of a game that was already pretty bloody great, there's little here worth complaining about.
If you make the effort, you'll find that Slightly Mad has built a motorsport game for the people, at once flexible and uncompromising: a single-minded hymn to the gritty thrills of the pit-lane and the back straight. There's room for improvement and we'll be watching future updates with keen interest, but these foundations are strong indeed.
An essential sandbox for anyone with an interest in space, rocketry, or explosions.
It's a minor blot, though, as elsewhere this lives up to the legacy of its predecessor, and takes it to new, interesting places. Kirby rarely gets a starring role in Nintendo's line-up, which is something of a shame, as the Rainbow Curse is another unconventional treat.
This is the strangest, most wilful game Intelligent Systems has ever made - and that's part of its greatness.
In the end, it's the surface details - the dry and gentle wit, the winsome voice acting, and the gorgeous design - that lash it all together. The deeper elements, the bones that might give it structural strength, feel thin. Broken Age doesn't quite suffer the fate implied by its title, but there are clearly fractures that time has failed to heal.
I just wish it wasn't so clumsy where it counts, since there are few gameplay styles more off-putting than poor stealth, and the stealth here is often very poor indeed. Fans committed to the loopy storyline will probably be able to look past that and enjoy the surreal ride for its narrative and atmospheric pleasures. However, such frustrations can't help but drive a large rusty nail into the heart of an otherwise generous pair of expansions.
Almost a year after its launch and Mario Kart 8 still earns its spot in your Wii U disc drive. Nintendo's racer remains one of the finest games on the company's home console, and this second helping of extras has cemented the game further among the very best of the series. If this pack is the work of the new Nintendo, long may such expansions continue.