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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

4.5 / 5.0 - Gang Beasts
Oct 13, 2021

Unless you categorically hate having fun, Gang Beasts’ hilarious and deceptively simple physics-based combat is an absolute blast, especially when played locally with friends and family. Sure, it could perhaps be a bit more fleshed out in terms of modes, and playing online may not result in the same level of fun as local play. However, when viewed purely as a local multiplayer party game, which you can’t help but feel is the way it was intended to be played, I can’t think of many experiences that are as capable of entertaining for an evening in the way that Gang Beasts is.

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Oct 12, 2021

Keyword: A Spider’s Thread is an intelligent take on an ancient tale about karmic retribution, asking players to not only save their daughter but redeem their soul… through, of all things, hacking. Which is utterly fascinating, as these seemingly unrelated topics work really well together, especially with this specific narrative and setting. It may have some choices in favor of design over quality of life, but that doesn’t stop Keyword: A Spider’s Thread from being surprisingly elegant and unique. If you love hacking/narrative games like Song of Farca, it doesn’t take a genius detective to surmise that you’ll love Keyword: A Spider’s Thread.

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Rainbow Billy is the lovechild of Wind Waker, Paper Mario, and Mr. Rogers that we didn’t know we needed. It’s sweet, it’s heartwarming, it’s addicting, and it’s beautiful. Not only that, but it tackles difficult topics in a rather mature and thought-provoking way. These topics really run the gamut of the human experience: self-esteem issues, anxiety, fear, anger, strength/masculinity, and so many more. Honestly, this game can be played by children and adults – there’s something to learn from the experience for everybody.

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4 / 5.0 - Gleylancer
Oct 12, 2021

If you’ve ever been curious about Gleylancer, there’s not a better way to play it than this new update. It plays great, looks great, sounds great, and offers a variety of excellent new options. To see such a fully-featured update released for such a great price is rare, and it’s worth supporting. If you’re at all interested in shmups, I’d highly recommend checking Gleylancer out.

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4 / 5.0 - Hell Let Loose
Oct 11, 2021

Whilst intimidating and unwelcoming, Hell Let Loose is an intoxicating experience for those who welcome a battlefield where death has consequences, and communication is key to survival. If you can round up a group of friends all willing to persevere with the steep learning curve, and who don’t mind dedicating entire evenings to a few matches, prepare to be engrossed for hours on end.

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Oct 10, 2021

Xuan Yuan Sword 7 tells a compelling story with gorgeous scenery and loveable characters, but it’s difficult to recommend to just anybody. I’m usually not one to knock game length, but a linear 15 – 20 hour experience for $49.99 is a harder sale than most. If you prefer story and style over combat and gameplay, Xuan Yuan Sword 7 is a no-brainer, its focus on familial bonds between brother and sister absolutely heartwarming. If you’re looking for a little more action in your ARPGs, Xuan Yuan Sword 7 probably won’t give you the satisfaction you’re expecting.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Metroid Dread
Oct 10, 2021

Metroid Dread is a must-own for any Metroidvania fan. Featuring some of the best 2D combat I’ve ever played and a world dying to be explored, I couldn’t put it down until I reached the thrilling conclusion. Its difficulty and atmosphere help it live up to its namesake but never chased me away. There are minor issues, but nothing that stops this from being one of 2021’s best.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Arboria
Oct 9, 2021

Arboria is what I’d like to call a “status quo” game—as in it fits in with the current “gaming climate” (or whatever you want to call it) very nicely, but fails to make any kind of a splash. You play games like these because they’re already made up of components with which you’re comfortable, and, as a result, end up cozying up to said new game with relative ease. It’s not a bad thing to like, or even create games like these (several of my personal favorites fall into this category as well!), but, without that special “drive” to go the extra distance, you’ve already gone as far as you can go before things have even gotten started with that. Simply put, Arboria‘s just fine—and that’s all there is to it.

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Coffee Noir goes down like a warm cup of coffee — black, of course, no cream or sugar. It builds a coffee-based Post-Warpunk world full of mystery and intrigue, the setting something I’d absolutely love to see explored more in future titles. Its blend of noir mystery and sales/business management is certainly something new, the concepts executed competently with a bold, rich flavor. And, for all the concerned noir fans out there, it does indeed end on a bitter note — just like an espresso. If you love to get lost in a good vintage murder mystery and think you have what it takes to grow a coffee empire, Coffee Noir will provide that caffeinated challenge for you.

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Oct 8, 2021

Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl feels incomplete in a lot of ways. It needed more modes, better sound design to provide some personality, a better selection of stages. If the developers take the time to fill the game out further, it could even end up being something pretty special. For now, this is still far better than a Nickelodeon fighting game has any right to be. The most important part of a fighting game is the feel, and the team at Ludosity nailed that. When I was tearing through foes with Reptar online, I had a hard time caring about what was missing. Players coming in with the right expectations will have a ton of fun, just don’t expect a game that is more than it is.

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Hey Poor Player
Shane Boyle
3 / 5.0 - Lemnis Gate
Oct 8, 2021

Lemnis Gate firing on all cylinders can be a delightfully cerebral experience, its time loop concept and diverse character roster paving the way for some truly spectacular moment-to-moment gameplay. It’s just a pity then that at launch, the majority of the player base, at least outside of the higher ranks, seem unwilling to embrace the whacky concept. Given time, though, once a core of dedicated fans develops, Lemnis Gate has the potential to provide a truly novel alternative take on the hero shooter genre.

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2 / 5.0 - Chernobylite
Oct 7, 2021

Chernobylite is an enjoyable little loot n’ shooter sadly torpedoed by technical issues for the PS4 version. It’s such a shame that the intriguing storyline and the compulsive scavenging fun is completely ruined by bugs. I was looking forward to uncovering the dark mysteries lurking within Pripyat, but until the game-breaking errors are fixed, they will have to remain hidden.

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3 / 5.0 - Ghostrunner
Oct 7, 2021

At its best, Ghostrunner provides truly thrilling action that feels alive. Rough level design and a few too many mechanics that don’t always fit together get in the way a little too often, though. There are definitely players looking for just what Ghostrunner offers, but they won’t find a smooth ride.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Crisis Wing
Oct 7, 2021

Visually, Crisis Wing will appeal to those that grew up in the ’90s. It very much looks like something from the SNES era, with bold sprites and colorful variety.

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Hey Poor Player
Shane Boyle
Oct 7, 2021

Phoenix Point: Behemoth Edition is a fantastic turn-based strategy game. Its unrivaled world-building and innovative combat make this a must-play for fans of the genre. If you can overcome the lack of variety in the early game, then be prepared to lose hours upon hours as you race to save humanity from complete obliteration.

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4 / 5.0 - Far Cry 6
Oct 6, 2021

Far Cry 6 is a must-play experience for fans of Ubisoft’s flagship first-person shooter series. New features, such as the Supremo and various ammo types, do a great job of spicing up a familiar formula. At the same time, the series’ rock-solid gunplay and exciting exploration are more inviting than ever. Even though it sometimes stumbles, both in terms of performance and tone, traversing the island nation of Yara is so fun that you probably won’t care all that much. Whether smashing the system solo or teaming up with a fellow freedom fighter for some online co-op, Far Cry 6 is sure to give armchair guerillas something worth fighting for. Viva La Revolución!

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4 / 5.0 - Aeon Drive
Oct 6, 2021

Aeon Drive isn’t a perfect game, but it has a lot going for it. It features precise platforming, lush graphics, and an interesting premise. Sure the plot isn’t as well-realized as I hoped, and the game even ends on a serious cliffhanger ending (again), but I still think this is an adventure that fans of the original will appreciate. It’s different, but not in any ways that hurt my enjoyment. Here’s hoping 2Awesome Studio keeps up the good work, and that this isn’t the last we’ve heard of Jack and V.E.R.A.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Chezzle
Oct 6, 2021

Chezzle is a fantastic chess puzzler that provides a learning opportunity for those unfamiliar with chess while simultaneously offering complexity for those wanting a challenge. With its calming aesthetics and quick-burst gameplay, Chezzle is great for five minute sessions or playing while trying to focus on other tasks all day. If you want a classic kind of game that just about anyone can get the hang of and is insanely cheap, choosing Chezzle is a winning strategy.

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Oct 5, 2021

Impostor Factory offers yet another tear-jerking, emotional roller coaster with murder mystery flair. The very definition of bittersweet, Impostor Factory’s emotional climax will only make sense to those familiar with the series, so if this is your first foray into the franchise, please grab To The Moon and Finding Paradise first before diving into this sentimental adventure. Where To the Moon sought fantasy from reality and Finding Paradise sought reality from fantasy, Impostor Factory blends them together in a beautifully unexpected way, reminding us to live life while we have it. If you want a wonderfully well-written story with fully fleshed out characters and thoughtfully choreographed scenes that feel charmingly cinematic, please play Impostor Factory (after To The Moon and Finding Paradise, of course!).

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Oct 5, 2021

The true yardstick by which an exercise game should be measured is whether or not it was effective in getting players off the couch and into physical activity; I think it’s safe to say that Knockout Home Fitness clears the mark. Its short but intense sessions are appealing to those who, like me, struggle to commit to cardio; after only 15 minutes each day, you really do feel like you’ve gotten in a good workout. While I do wish it better instructed players on form and stretching, its rhythm-based mechanics make martial arts-based exercise fun and, dare I say, addicting. If you’re ready to jumpstart your fitness journey but don’t know where to begin, Knockout Home Fitness will absolutely get you going on the right track.

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