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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

4 / 5.0 - G-Darius HD
Oct 5, 2021

G-Darius HD is a classic shmup, and it arrives on Nintendo Switch in excellent form. While the updates are minimal, it feels true to perhaps the best game in the Darius series. If you’re looking for more than that, you won’t find it here, but fans who know what they’re buying will find a game that holds up, even after all these years.

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Oct 4, 2021

JETT: The Far Shore provides a truly otherworldly experience. With a unique look, stunning soundtrack, and a ship that controls like a dream, strap in and fulfill Jao’s directive. Late game choices take the wind out of things a bit, but I still recommend taking a journey on the far shore.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Underland
Oct 4, 2021

You’ll finish Underland relatively quickly, even if some of the late puzzles end up giving you trouble. As I said up front, this is a small game. That’s not inherently a bad thing, though. It’s well priced and provides a few pleasant hours of entertainment. If solving some solid puzzles and helping your astronauts reach the remnants of humanity sounds like a good time, give Underland a try.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Embr
Oct 2, 2021

Embr doesn’t want to set the world on fire, it just wants to start a flame in your heart. And then make sure that the flame is out. And that everyone is safe. And did you get your food on time? Yes? Could you please tip your delivery driver/firefighter so they can continue to give you a hot meal and cold home? Thanks! Okay so yes, Embr may attempt quite a few things in its own wacky way, but it’s literally never a dull moment. Whether you blaze it on your own or with an entourage, Embr is a great way to burn through a weekend.

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Oct 2, 2021

Final Fantasy IV was a great game when it came out in 1991, and, 30 years later, Final Fantasy Pixel Remaster is just as great. The only thing, in my opinion, that could have made this game better would have been the inclusion of the Lunar Subterrain from Final Fantasy IV Advance. But, hey, “almost perfect” is still pretty good, too. Whether you’re a Final Fantasy veteran or are looking to get your feet wet, I can’t recommend Final Fantasy IV Pixel Remaster enough.

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3.5 / 5.0 - GRIME
Oct 1, 2021

There’s no arguing that GRIME is one of the most breathtakingly beautiful Metroidvanias ever created, and it’s obvious that a lot of love was put into it. Unfortunately, the attempt to create some kind of compromise between Dark Souls and Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow created a product that, while still undoubtedly fun, felt a little too lukewarm at times to truly be considered “great.” I think that if certain things got revamped, GRIME could be a totally killer Metroidvania. But, until then, it’ll just be “good.”

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Oct 1, 2021

A Juggler’s Tale is a short, classic storybook side-scroller that asks players if they’d prefer to let fate choose for them or to choose their own destiny. Featuring delightful mechanics set against a dark fantasy world, A Juggler’s Tale will instantly remind fans of the seventh gen era of classics like LittleBigPlanet or Puppeteer in the best possible way. If a twisted fairytale with unique mechanics, captivating aesthetics, and a fantastic story sounds thrilling, don’t sleep on A Juggler’s Tale.

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4 / 5.0 - Manifold Garden
Oct 1, 2021

Manifold Garden is a serotonin-inducing triumph of a puzzle game that will captivate anyone who loves abstract aesthetics. Every single frame of this game is a screenshot, and every puzzle one that challenges the brain to think of the world in a more incorporeal manner. If M.C. Escher is your favorite MC, Manifold Garden is an absolute must-play, and I cannot envision a better platform for this geometric garden than PC.

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Sep 30, 2021

Weapon of Choice DX is a wild ride with a lot of ambition. While I don’t feel it quite lived up to its potential, and felt that Shoot 1-UP DX was the better game by Super Soul, there’s still a lot here for fans to enjoy. If you miss Contra and want something similar, I’d give Weapon of Choice DX a shot. Just get ready for one insane rollercoaster of a game with a zany plot to match.

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Sep 29, 2021

While not without its share of issues, you can’t say Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania doesn’t give you your money’s worth. With 300 stages to master and a wealth of modes and mini-games to enjoy, there’s more than enough monkey business on this disc to keep you rolling for weeks on end. However, if you never cared for the series before, then this collection probably isn’t going to win you over. Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania is a vibrant celebration of the series’ history that will test both your skills and your patience. But if you’re up for the challenge, don’t hesitate to add this to your PS5 library.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Sable
Sep 29, 2021

Sable does so much well that it’s a shame that these issues consistently distract from its stunning world. This is the sort of game that may be easy to recommend in a few months after a few patches, but I can only rate the game as it is. There’s still a lot to like here if you’re willing to put up with some frustration along the way. Just know that if you purchase it now, you’ll be dealing with a less than smooth ride.

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Sep 29, 2021

The Plane Effect strikes me as a fairly polarizing experience that won’t be for everyone. If you prefer gameplay mechanics over aesthetics and deeper meaning, turn back now; if you love a cinematic, visually arresting journey and don’t mind clunky controls, this might be the surreal commute from another dimension for you. I can’t guarantee The Plane Effect will be your favorite game this year, but I can promise a unique experience that will make you feel all sorts of emotions; whether those emotions are awe or anger is anyone’s guess.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Steel Assault
Sep 29, 2021

In many ways, Steel Assault is the best current example of a true arcade-style experience I’ve played. It’s full of action, style and is challenging enough for fans old and new. It even made me fondly recall games like Contra Hard Corps and Blazing Chrome.

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4 / 5.0 - Suzerain
Sep 29, 2021

Suzerain is a must-play for fans of political games, narrative-based adventures, or for those who want to try an inventive concept executed brilliantly. It’s also a great case study in menu-based PC games and how to port them to console, the controls designed with Switch players in mind throughout every step of development. If you’ve ever thought you could make a country thrive under your rule, Suzerain is a great place to test out theories of any political leaning. Whether it be on PC or on Switch, Suzerain is worthy of your vote.

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5 / 5.0 - The Last Friend
Sep 29, 2021

The Last Friend is truly a gem. Polished gameplay, tight controls, superb, charming art, and just that wow factor that makes you want to play for hours on end. It’s one of those games that I hesitate to call perfect, but honestly, I can find so few flaws, I’m awfully tempted to. I’m already counting down the days until it comes out on the Switch so I can download it and have it on the go as well.

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4 / 5.0 - Teacup
Sep 28, 2021

Teacup was a lovely surprise in so many ways, its careful and quiet protagonist making a big impact in such a simple yet unexpected manner. With aesthetics that feel like a children’s storybook giving players a warm and cozy hug, Teacup is a fantastic little wholesome title that will delight anyone who feels drawn to it. If you’re looking for a bright, cheery game, Teacup is absolutely going to be your cup of chamomile.

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4 / 5.0 - Tails of Iron
Sep 27, 2021

Tails of Iron is not for the fainthearted. It’s a bloody, brutal, blistering experience from start to finish. Its combat smartly mixes skill and strategy. The game will push you to your limits, but it’s hard not to have fun skewering and slaughtering your way to redemption. While the game’s scope is, unfortunately, a bit limited, I have a feeling this won’t be the last time we hear from Redgi.

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Sep 27, 2021

When it comes down to it, Astria Ascending is a charming blend of new and old, and a very enjoyable RPG experience overall. I’m always happy when I see a game successfully emulate the spirit of the ever-sacred old-school RPG, and I can happily say that Artisan Studios really outdid themselves with this one!

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4 / 5.0 - UnMetal
Sep 27, 2021

Minor issues aside, UnMetal is an absolute winner. With gut-busting writing and a great mix of retro-inspired stealth action enhanced with modern mechanics, it’s a game that warrants a spot in any classic Metal Gear fan’s collection. Here’s hoping this isn’t the last time we get to take control of Jesse Fox. He may not be the action hero we deserve, but he’s the one we need right now.

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3 / 5.0 - In Sound Mind
Sep 27, 2021

In Sound Mind is a case of a great idea hobbled by flawed execution. It has some fascinating mechanics and an engaging story to tell. However, to experience the game’s best parts, you’ll have to suffer through a lot of moments of frustration. If you’re up for the challenge, this might just be a psychological horror title worth checking out. For anyone else, you might want to wait and see if developer We Create Stuff can iron out the kinks first.

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