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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

Sep 27, 2021

If you’re at all a fan of Metroidvanias and haven’t played most of these games, there’s no reason to wait. Not every game here is perfect, but they’re all at least good. Circle of the Moon provides the best mix between the old and new style of Castlevania, while Aria of Sorrow is an absolute triumph that holds up beautifully even after all these years. Harmony of Dissonance has more flaws but is still mostly an excellent play, and even Dracula X is a very solid title. I would have loved to see more work done to provide a total package here, but few collections have ever provided a better set of titles.

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Sep 27, 2021

The simple, pick-up-and-play racing action keeps things tame so anyone can pick one of the several rides and zoom down the masterfully crafted tracks without any fuss and little learning curve. With only a few misgivings to work on as of this review, Hot Wheels Unleashed has first place already in the bag, and I’m eager to see it continue succeeding down the line.

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4 / 5.0 - Residual
Sep 27, 2021

Still, even with a small handful of flaws, this is a solid game. Residual has awesome pixel art, a unique premise, addicting gameplay, and the promise of unique playthroughs every time you start a new game. While it’s not a perfect game, my complaints are fairly minor all things considered. I’d definitely recommend this game to anybody looking for a unique survival/platformer mashup.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Clash of Chefs VR
Sep 26, 2021

Clash of Chefs VR may appear simple and childish due to its bright and cheery aesthetics, but don’t judge a menu by its cover — this game will even challenge those with a food handler’s permit. Spending three years in Early Access did Clash of Chefs VR plenty of good, as all that time in the oven ensured a smooth and relatively bug-free experience. If you’re looking for a good VR simulator that you can keep coming back to for fun and frantic gameplay, Clash of Chefs VR will satisfy that craving.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Glyph
Sep 25, 2021

Honestly, a large part of me wonders if Glyph might have been better had it been a 2D platformer instead. As it stands now, it’s just too demanding and unbalanced for me to recommend to most gamers. But if you’re stubborn enough and willing to die repeatedly, you might find something to enjoy here. For everybody else, look for something a little less diabolical.

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Sep 25, 2021

If you want an insanely addicting core loop and don’t mind a little dust in the machinery, Gas Station Simulator will guzzle up an entire weekend before you know it.

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Hey Poor Player
Shane Boyle
Sep 25, 2021

Despite its accessible controls and decent space dogfighting action, the mobile roots of Subdivision Infinity DX don’t stand up to scrutiny as a console experience. The bare-bones story and repetitive gameplay loops simply don’t hold up when removed from the platform they were tailor-made for, which ultimately results in a game that is difficult to recommend.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Gamedec
Sep 23, 2021

Gamedec seems to show exactly how far you can pare down a cRPG, stripping away some of the deeper mechanics to streamline a tabletop-inspired experience. Those new to the genre will enjoy this opportunity to get their feet wet, while established veterans will feel this virtual “one-shot” campaign was executed succinctly. If you love cyberpunk detective stories and want something that will absolutely suck you in for 10 – 20 hours, you can’t go wrong with Gamedec.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Struggling
Sep 23, 2021

While Struggling eventually comes together to a degree and showcases impressive creativity, it doesn’t change that this is a game with audio that made me want to mute my TV and controls, which simply don’t feel good. It’s a real struggle to play. While that may be mostly intentional, it doesn’t make the game more enjoyable in the end. Some players may find more in it than me, but I’m more interested in seeing what the creative team at Chasing Rats Games does next. Any team with this much creativity feels like they have a great game in them. They didn’t get there this time, though.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Sheltered 2
Sep 23, 2021

Sheltered 2 is easily one of the most complicated games I’ve ever played. It’s fun if you liked the original Sheltered, or Fallout Shelter, and in many ways, it’s an upgrade of those apocalypse bunker sims. The issue, however, is that despite all of the game’s improvements and complexities, its overambition is also its biggest downfall. The core mechanics of its basic survival necessities of maintaining food and water are at the moment glitched, and any progress is meaningless because it will inevitably lead to a time-wasted end where resources inevitably run out two weeks in. As of right now, there are no ways of replenishing water save for bartering (if you’re lucky enough to find a faction with spare water), and so because of this, I can’t give this broken game a good review. With some updates to fix the bugs and polish off the post-apocalyptic dirt from this potential jewel, Sheltered 2 might be able to fulfil its lofty ambitions.

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3 / 5.0 - SkateBIRD
Sep 22, 2021

SkateBIRD is a fun, if flawed, experience. Charming, with a light-hearted story and a good sense of humor, there’s plenty to enjoy, even with the overly floaty feeling that hampers the controls. While it’s likely not the best skater you’ll ever play, it’s probably one of the more unique ones. I don’t think I’d really recommend it to hardcore fans of skater games, but for people looking for a casual experience you can pick up anytime and not feel too invested in, it might be worth a look.

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Sep 22, 2021

I’ve mentioned a lot of other games throughout this review. Uncharted, Jak & Daxter, Pikmin, I could name a few more too. While not a lot here is fully original, almost everything is well-executed, and when you add an excellent story and a ton of personality, you have a winning experience. Although there are a few minor issues here and there, Kena: Bridge of Spirits provides a wonderful base that we can only hope future games will build on.

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Hey Poor Player
Shane Boyle
Sep 22, 2021

With its kooky animal-battle royale concept, fast and addictive gameplay loop, and fair monetization systems, it’s difficult to not have fun with Super Animal Royale. Pixile Games has crafted a title that feels like a breath of fresh air in a genre that never seems to stop churning out new entries. Even if you’re like me, and sometimes shy away from battle royale games due to their inaccessibility, this is title definitely worth checking out. You never know, as with me, you may find yourself stumbling across a new obsession!

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3.5 / 5.0 - Metallic Child
Sep 21, 2021

It’s a fun and challenging game full of heart and creativity. The game is well worth the price of admission and has plenty to keep you coming back for more. If you’re a fan of rogue-likes and want something new to spend some time with, I’d check METALLIC CHILD out.

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4 / 5.0 - TOEM
Sep 21, 2021

I had a hard time putting TOEM down, its calming, cheerful nature feeling way too cozy to quit. Its photography-based puzzle gameplay will charm just about anyone that feels drawn to the title, so if you have even a remote interest in TOEM, it’s absolutely a safe bet. If you want 4 – 6 hours of wholesome fun that will leave you craving for more, take a little hike with TOEM.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Faraday Protocol
Sep 21, 2021

At its core, Faraday Protocol does what it needs to as a puzzler and has all the necessary elements to deliver a compelling experience, but it needs refinement in a few other aspects before it can really shine. I would’ve loved to see a more cohesive tutorial system for guidance, and maybe some more sprinkles of story stuff scattered around. As it stands, if you’ve got the time to sort out the hows and whys to the game’s many mechanics, I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t give Faraday Protocol a good old college try.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Rustler
Sep 20, 2021

The idea of a Medieval take on the Grand Theft Auto formula is undoubtedly intriguing. That’s why it’s such a shame that Rustler falls short of realizing its full potential. From its unsatisfying combat to the rinse-and-repeat missions, it doesn’t take long before the game starts to wear out its welcome. Add to that near game-breaking technical issues, and you have a title that’s pretty hard to recommend to all but the most desperate fans of the genre. Still, if you’re looking for an unapologetically old-school throwback to the GTA games of old, you might just find some fun to be had with Rustler.

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Hey Poor Player
Shane Boyle
Sep 20, 2021

Despite issues with repetition, Aliens: Fireteam Elite delivers where it counts; in its core gameplay. When you’re in the moment, obliterating hundreds of enemies using iconic weapons, against the backdrop of stunning locations that tap into the amazing cinematography the Alien franchise is known for, any shortcomings almost seem irrelevant. And, with the promise of free playable content to come across the next year, the rock-solid foundation which Cold Iron Studios has built could turn into something truly special.

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Sep 20, 2021

I don’t want to be too negative because you could do far worse than to spend some time with Flynn: Son of Crimson. This is a consistently adequate game that, now and then, can reach a bit above that level. It enters a truly crowded market for its genre, though. Game Pass subscribers may be tempted to check it out, and with the game being included, there’s no real cost to do so. The service is filled with more exciting titles in a similar vein, though—games like Celeste, Dead Cells, Katana Zero. When you have options like that, it becomes more difficult to recommend Flynn. If you’ve already played them and want more, though, then checking this one out could be worth your time.

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Sep 19, 2021

Prinny Presents NIS Classics Volume 1: Phantom Brave: The Hermuda Triangle Remastered / Soul Nomad & the World Eaters may only be the first in the Prinny Presents series, but it’s already off to a phenomenal start. Whether you played these titles when they first came out or are heading into them for the very first time, this two-in-one bundle is something that you won’t want to skip out on if you’re even remotely interested in SRPGs.

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