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Hey Poor Player

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1633 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
60.1% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

A lot of games fail because of a lack of ambition. Herald is that rare and tragic beast that actually fails because it’s too ambitious.

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4 / 5.0 - Toukiden 2
Mar 21, 2017

Even if you’re new to the series, as I am, you can pick this title up with virtually no barrier to entry and enjoy it fully.

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2 / 5.0 - Antagonist
Mar 19, 2017

Antagonist is a mess of a human who just really, really wants you to laugh at its jokes and care about the story it wants to tell. It has nothing else left. Its wife left, took the kids and the dog, and kicked it out of the house. Now it sleeps on couches and remembers when it made her laugh on their first dates, when things were easy. Easy like every writing choice this game makes.

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3.5 / 5.0 - The Crow's Eye
Mar 17, 2017

If you’re a fan of first-person puzzle games and have been disappointed by the lack of true genre gems in recent years, then The Crow’s Eye is for you.

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Psychonauts in the Rhombus of Ruin is by no means a bad game. However, the long bouts of downtime and lack of compelling puzzles can make for a dull and sometimes disappointing ride.

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Mar 14, 2017

I’m sad to say that I can’t in good conscience recommend Touhou Genso Wanderer for anyone outside of the anime fandom, unless if they’re a genuine Touhou fan.

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Mar 14, 2017

eaturing a short, bland adventure, a nearly-nonexistent plot, and diverse characters that are ultimately bogged down by the in-game Stamina mechanic, Touhou Double Focus probably won’t satisfy anyone who isn’t a diehard Touhou fan.

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Mar 13, 2017

If you’re looking for a fun card battler carried along by a beautifully presented story then Monster Monpiece will appeal to you – as well as your walrus creature!

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Mar 11, 2017

Switch – or die trying is likely to remain hidden among the vast treasure trove of good games on Steam, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek it out and play it!

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2.5 / 5.0 - 2Dark
Mar 10, 2017

The game became repetitive, frustrating, and uninteresting all too quickly, and each level takes less than an hour to complete unless you run into a bug or a figurative wall when it comes to progression.

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While The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild might not change games as we know it, that it echoes so much of the “I can do that” philosophy found in Nintendo cousins Super Mario Bros./Super Mario 64 in a modern age is nothing less than Nintendo magic at work. The Legend of Zelda is back.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Super Bomberman R
Mar 9, 2017

The main story’s 50 missions can be blown through in a flash, but they’re fun while they last and serve as a great way to hone your skills for the game’s infectious multiplayer mode. However, with just two modes to offer, $50 may be a bit of a steep asking price for what you’re getting here.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Night in the Woods
Mar 8, 2017

It’s quite something to play a leg of the game where Mae finds out the local Italian restaurant is closing to her utter dismay, and to then turn off my console and go to a meeting of my college newspaper where we have to discuss writing an article about the landmark hobby shop in town closing its doors after 25 years. For a world filled with cartoon animal characters, Night in the Woods is actually one of the most stark, realistic depictions of a non-landmark city part of America I’ve seen in a game.

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1.5 / 5.0 - DYING: Reborn (VR)
Mar 7, 2017

If you’re going into Dying: Reborn VR fresh and without knowing there is a separate, full game available on the PlayStation Store, you’ll be oblivious to the fact that this game is not finished.

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Atelier Firis: The Alchemist and the Mysterious Journey provides a great example of how a game can provide an entirely fresh experience merely by shifting around the mechanics that it already had, as opposed to piling on new ones.

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3.5 / 5.0 - 1-2-Switch
Mar 6, 2017

I think Nintendo missed out on a perfect pack-in game opportunity and a great way to introduce gamers to what is new about the Joy-Con and the system as a whole.

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Mar 4, 2017

This won’t convert you to the cult of old-school CRPGs if you’re not already a fan. If you are a fan however, there’s an entire plane’s worth of meaty roleplaying goodness for you to sink your teeth into (especially in the meat prison).

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2 / 5.0 - DESYNC
Mar 4, 2017

As it is, Desync is just another poorly-designed FPS that, for all its bells and whistles, requires little more strategy than W+M1 and learning the cheap spawn locations.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Shift Happens
Feb 27, 2017

Shift Happens isn’t a bad co-op experience, not at all. But its modes make it a frustrating one. The game sports solid puzzle design consistently, and couch co-op is a blast (albeit a sometimes antagonistic one, though all’s fair in love and war).

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4.5 / 5.0 - Sniper Elite 4
Feb 22, 2017

Without question, Sniper Elite 4 marks a high point for Rebellions’ stealth-shooter series. The game’s excellent main campaign provides a great mix of stealth action and the franchise’s trademark sniping shenanigans.

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