Hey Poor Player Outlet Image

Hey Poor Player

Homepage
1786 games reviewed
74.2 average score
80 median score
61.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

2.5 / 5.0 - Those Who Remain
Jun 15, 2020

Those Who Remain is a Frankenstein of cool concepts lifted from other horror games and shoddily reconstituted into a mishmash of mediocrity. It’s got some of the ingredients of a good horror game, but they mesh together like pizza and ice cream. Though the game doesn’t deserve to be cast into hell for eternity, it definitely has some mistakes that are hard to forgive.

Read full review

Jun 14, 2020

1971 Project Helios takes tactics to a different level by forcing the player to act. Released on every major console, it is evident by the game’s end that it desires to be a continuing series. And while its a decent tactical strategy game, it’s also a bit boring because it fails to integrate its surprisingly in-depth characters and stories organically into the videogame itself. Still, the campaign was fun for what it was, and I do hope if a sequel happens, it’ll integrate more of its own story.

Read full review

4 / 5.0 - Beyond Blue
Jun 13, 2020

Beyond Blue has a familiar objective when it comes to educational games focusing on the ocean, but it approaches the objective with a novel narrative. It will certainly appeal to any aspiring marine biologists or those looking for something more educational when it comes to ocean exploration games. If you’re looking for a way to relax alongside gentle giants in their (virtual) natural habitat and want to possibly learn something along the way, look no further than Beyond Blue.

Read full review

4.5 / 5.0 - Persona 4 Golden
Jun 13, 2020

Persona 4 Golden on PC could probably benefit from some added optimization. The occasional blurry visuals and dips in performance are surprising missteps that slightly blemish what is otherwise an outstanding game. But it’s easy to overlook its minor quirks when considering just how engrossing of an experience the game offers. If you’re an RPG fan who somehow managed to miss out on the original release, then adding this to your Steam library should be a no-brainer. And if you already played and enjoyed Persona 4 but have yet to see everything Persona 4 Golden has to offer because you didn’t own Vita or a PlayStation TV, then there’s never been a better time to tune into the Midnight Channel.

Read full review

3 / 5.0 - Masky
Jun 13, 2020

I don’t deny the hard work that the developers put into porting Masky to the Nintendo Switch; however, I can’t understand why its current pricepoint is five times more expensive than the Steam version. Had it been cheaper — even $2.99 — I would think of the Switch version of Masky much more positively, but for a game that will likely be played for less than an hour and then retired forever, it really shouldn’t cost so much. If you have any interest whatsoever in an insanely easy pick-up-and-play game, Masky satisfies, although I recommend getting it for mobile — for free — instead.

Read full review

Jun 9, 2020

Though you might not find anything new here if you’ve played through Ys: Memories of Celceta before, Ys is just one of those series that is consistently fun to go back to no matter how many times you play it.

Read full review

Jun 8, 2020

Even after that rant about the game crashing at the end, I’d still say that Dungeon of the Endless is a fairly enjoyable and very unique experience. Despite the fact that it’s been out for six years already, it doesn’t feel all too old, and the mechanics, while a little too hectic for my tastes, could easily find a fanbase of its own (and undoubtedly already has).

Read full review

4.5 / 5.0 - Sludge Life
Jun 7, 2020

From giant babies to vampires, from talking cats to cats with two buttholes, to snakes in toilets and a guy wearing the exact same pattern as the wallpaper in an attempt to hide from his murderous roommate, Sludge Life is wonderfully mad.

Read full review

4.5 / 5.0 - Astrologaster
Jun 2, 2020

From start to finish, Astrologaster delivers; if you enjoy games off the beaten path that so brilliantly achieve all their goals, then our astrological readings indicate you’ll love Astrologaster. It’s in the stars!

Read full review

May 28, 2020

While the game is undoubtedly starting to show its age, Rebellion has done an excellent job of bringing this cult classic to the Switch while sacrificing surprisingly little in the process. With a lengthy campaign, addicting horde mode, and some of the best cooperative gameplay you can find on the Switch, it’s a gleefully gory shooter that no fans of the genre should pass up.

Read full review

3 / 5.0 - Turmoil
May 27, 2020

As far as an audience goes, Turmoil is pretty niche. That in itself isn’t a bad thing—there are plenty of cool niche games out there—but I’m at a bit of a loss as to who this game’s target demographic is. It’s kind of fun, yeah, and it kept me entertained for a while, but it’s too long for its own good, and, much like most flash games, I eventually found my mind wandering to what other games I’d rather be playing,

Read full review

3.5 / 5.0 - Maneater
May 26, 2020

With its unique premise and a great sense of humor, Maneater’s 12-hour campaign is a fun feeding frenzy while it lasts. However, the game’s occasionally repetitive quests, coupled with its spotty performance, make it feel more like a quick and dirty trip to Long John Silver’s than a bountiful seafood feast for starving RPG fans. Still, if these issues aren’t enough to keep you from wanting to take the plunge, then you might just enjoy sinking your teeth into Maneater.

Read full review

May 25, 2020

Animal Crossing‘s original vision had humble goals in facilitating local communication with friends and family; now, New Horizons confidently stars on the global stage by readily shattering virus-devised boundaries for the sake of vital human interaction.

Read full review

May 21, 2020

Deep Silver and Volition have something really special with the Saints Row franchise, and it honestly doesn’t get any better than Saints Row: The Third Remastered.

Read full review

May 20, 2020

Fundamentally, Tales From Off-Peak City is a walking simulator with some pretty straightforward puzzles thrown in. It lets you explore its surreal world at a glacial pace, but never gets boring. Unlike many walking simulators set in more realistic worlds where a lot of time is taken up traversing more mundane scenery, this is a world where practically every building and locale is a work of evocative art. If you’re a bohemian beatnik type looking to take a walk down the road less traveled then Off-Peak City is a vibe you can jam to.

Read full review

4 / 5.0 - Ancient Enemy
May 18, 2020

A seemingly casual experience that sucks you in once you start, Ancient Enemy is the perfect game for players who don’t have a lot of time on their hands but still want a solid gaming session. If card-based RPGs are your thing, you’re definitely going to want to add this to your library; if you’ve ever wondered about the genre, this is the perfect title to wet your beak.

Read full review

3 / 5.0 - Obey Me
May 18, 2020

Obey Me is initially a fun game that soon devolves into an infuriating experience. With lots of weaponry and interesting level design, it becomes more enjoyable once you get the hang of its quirky combat mechanics. This interest, of course, only lasts until you get to the game’s final stages, where the final boss fights become incredibly frustrating, and the game becomes outright unpleasant to play.

Read full review

2 / 5.0 - Star Horizon
May 15, 2020

As someone who tends to get a lot of enjoyment out of rail shooters, Star Horizon is a game I had high hopes for. And while I feel some features, like the storytelling and upgrade system, fall a bit flat, the core shooter experience can be pretty fun in short bursts. Sadly, in its current state, it’s impossible to recommend a game that is, as far as this reviewer can tell, entirely unbeatable at this time due to a game-breaking glitch.

Read full review

3 / 5.0 - Ghost Sweeper
May 14, 2020

While not quite as good as the Taito’s recently released Bubble Bobble 4 Friends, Ghost Sweeper is a fun little puzzle-platformer that’s well worth the modest $5 asking price. If you’re a fan of Solomon’s Key or merely looking for a fresh dose of arcade-inspired action, you can’t go wrong adding this game to your collection.

Read full review

2.5 / 5.0 - Ion Fury
May 14, 2020

As someone with a lot of nostalgia for the BUILD era of PC first-person shooters, I had high hopes for Ion fury on Xbox One. Sadly, this port’s abundance of glitches, bizarre performance problems and a lack of optimization for consoles make it too frustrating to recommend. Perhaps with the magic of post-release patching, the worst of these kinks will be ironed out. However, at the time of this writing, today is not that day.

Read full review