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Hey Poor Player

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1786 games reviewed
74.2 average score
80 median score
61.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

Jul 15, 2020

With its flawless emulation and wealth of content, Darius Cozmic Collection Console is a robust offering and an excellent introduction to Taito’s long-running shoot ’em up series. However, I’m not sure it does quite enough to justify the $60 asking price when you consider you’re more or less getting nine slightly different variations of four decades-old games. Still, if money is no object and you feel the need to blast intergalactic fish to bits, this collection will surely scratch that itch.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Creepy Tale
Jul 14, 2020

Creepy Tale hearkens back to a time when scary meant something else entirely and modern indie game design was still coming into its own. The story flows wonderfully and is easy enough to follow; it’s only hampered by odd puzzle design and choices.

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Jul 14, 2020

Honestly, I can’t recommend Seek Not a Lighthouse, which saddens me. Part of me thinks my hopes were too high for the title, but even reading the description again and realizing there was no connection between it and the game itself, I remind myself that, no, sometimes a game is just… not great. Not every dusty corner of Steam is going to yield a gem, and that’s okay — it happens. It’s pretty criminal Seek Not a Lighthouse has such a cool name and feel but doesn’t live up to what the eyes receive; here’s to hoping the next title the developer releases gets better.

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Jul 13, 2020

I really, really like void tRrLM(); //Void Terrarium. It’s got a great plot, fun Mystery Dungeon gameplay, and delightful customization features. But it’s just too short for me to give it a higher rating than the one which I’ve given it. I don’t care if it’s following the tradition of its predecessors; you can’t pace a DRPG in the same way that you can a platformer. I still think that this game is great, and I think that a lot of other people will, too. But is $60 worth a game that only takes around 20 hours to beat and might leave you with more questions than answers at its end? I’m not so sure.

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4.5 / 5.0 - A Short Hike
Jul 13, 2020

A Short Hike stayed in my backlog for far too long, but the truth is, there wasn’t a better time than now to play it. With quarantine canceling many summer vacations, those of us trapped in urban jungles have likely been longing for the beauty of the wild outdoors. Even in its low-poly form, A Short Hike delivers on the experience, healing players in a way that only the feel of nature can.

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Jul 12, 2020

If you’re a fan of “those weird Japanese games” and want to get your hands on something truly wild, it would be considerate of you to at least consider KUUKIYOMI: Consider It.

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Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town is a nod to the classics. It doesn’t come packed with many of the highly useful mechanics and features that many of the newer SoS games do. But does that mean that it isn’t fun? Absolutely not. While Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral town probably isn’t something that I’d recommend to every series fan out there, its undeniable charm and simple-yet addictive gameplay should still be enough to attract its fair share of players.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Assemble With Care
Jul 7, 2020

In all honesty, I wish I had experienced Assemble With Care on my iPhone before playing it on my PC. I don’t regret the experience and still think this is a gem worth playing no matter what the platform, but knowing it was far more beautiful and more intuitive on another device that I own makes me wonder if I’d had a better time with this title. Still, I urge you to pick up Assemble With Care, even on PC, for a touching story about second chances with those we hold dearest to us and that, if it’s worth keeping, it’s worth fixing.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Kili's Treasure
Jul 4, 2020

Kili’s Treasure is short and sweet — literally, I completed it in an hour — and its mechanic leaves something to be desired, but it ultimately leaves me with happy tears and a powerful message about leaving room in your heart after the passing of a beloved pet.

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Jul 3, 2020

In the same way you visit your hometown after being away for a decade and notice all the changes in familiar places, Catherine: Full Body’s alterations may come as a surprise to those who held the original in high regard. After the initial shock wears away, however, it’s clear to see the wisdom behind the choices made, and Atlus, yet again, achieves greatness.

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4 / 5.0 - CrossCode
Jul 3, 2020

CrossCode is probably the most fun that I’ve ever had with being frustrated with a game. This game knows it’s good and wants to make absolutely sure that players know just how much time and painstaking effort went into creating it so that they know how good it is, too. Is it a bit gatekeep-y at times? Eh, sure, I guess. But it’s a gate that’s an absolute joy to climb over. And, if you still aren’t convinced, maybe you should just try logging into CrossWorlds yourself.

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3 / 5.0 - Ultracore
Jul 2, 2020

If you’re a die-hard retro gamer or a fan of Eurostyle shooters and can look past its often messy platforming and dated design choices, Ultracore is a game that’s sure to fill that Turrican-shaped void in your heart.

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4 / 5.0 - Alwa's Legacy
Jun 30, 2020

The world needs more good Metroidvanias. And, if developers like Elden Pixels are in charge of bringing those to us, especially if they’re willing to continue growing as they have been, then we’re definitely in good hands.

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Jun 30, 2020

My biggest issue, which I think universally everyone has, is the writing. Mostly, that though well-intended, the pacing is incredibly off for a videogame and takes too long to develop. Still, if you stick with it, it proves to be one of the most violent and emotionally exhausting games you’ll ever play. It makes me reevaluate the relationships that matter most in my life. Though mostly, it makes me just want to hug my dad.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Summer in Mara
Jun 29, 2020

Summer in Mara is a nice chillout game you can take totally at your own pace, even if the lack of challenge and excitement will surely frustrate many players. It’s very much an ideal game for children or those who want to take a break from the stresses, fears, and pressures of modern life, which right now is very much understandable! Though I certainly didn’t feel thrilled or captivated playing it, I do anticipate returning periodically returning to the sweet, summery world of Mara from time to time when the cold cruel world is grinding me down under its relentless wheel!

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Jun 26, 2020

As a longtime fan of the Thunder Force series, I couldn’t be happier to see SEGA AGES Thunder Force AC soar onto the Switch. With a satisfying blend of challenging gameplay, great visuals, and an incredible soundtrack courtesy of composer Toshiharu Yamanishi, it’s an exceptional shooter that no fan of the series should miss.

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It doesn’t matter if it’s the first, second, or tenth time that I’m playing this game; my opinion of this game is always going to be the same. Building upon an already impressive legacy, The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III continues to live up to—and in many cases—exceed my expectations of what a contemporary JRPG masterpiece aught to be.

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Jun 26, 2020

I was so, so excited for The Academy: The First Riddle, and although I feel pretty letdown by the experience, I believe there’s still something to it. It’s entirely possible that the dev team works everything out within the next few months and the flaws are ironed out, leaving only pure puzzle goodness to grace our screens.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Waking
Jun 18, 2020

As long as you are entirely truthful and lay bare your soul to the title, Waking is by far the most deeply personal, deeply moving experience in video game history.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Samurai Shodown
Jun 16, 2020

Despite its uneven online play and frustrating load times, Samurai Shodown is still a game that fans of the fighter genre won’t want to miss – so long as they have a few friends play against locally. With a colorful (though somewhat limited) cast of characters, a wealth of game modes, and some smart evolutions of its tried and true formula, it’s still one of the best games in the series to date. Here’s hoping the game’s PC community grows, and SNK can iron out the few kinks that hold Samurai Shodown back from being the brawler to beat.

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