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Hey Poor Player

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1786 games reviewed
74.2 average score
80 median score
61.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

4 / 5.0 - In Other Waters
Apr 2, 2020

In Other Waters is a thrilling, non-violent gem focusing on discovery of life among the stars in a place humanity didn’t think to look. This game proves that sometimes simplicity is best, its minimalist approach to complicated technology an absolute triumph. The immersion is incredible, considering the genre, and the concept is dramatically fresh to the point where I literally feel in awe of how much has been accomplished by so little.

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2 / 5.0 - The Complex
Mar 31, 2020

With a shadowy totalitarian state pulling the strings (thinly disguising North Korea) and a bio-terrorist threat in a major European city, The Complex could have much to say about politics, ethics, and other meaningful subjects. Instead, the game meanders in mediocrity to its meaningless climax, leaving with you little motivation to replay the game to explore alternative decisions.

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Space Channel 5 VR: Kinda Funky News Flash makes a good first impression with its nostalgic visuals, funky tunes, and easy to pick up gameplay. It’s just a shame that once you’ve wrapped up its five-minute intro chapter, you’ve already seen a quarter of what it has to offer. With a story that almost any player should be able to finish in less than a half-hour and a dull smattering of throwaway extra modes, I’d have trouble recommending the game to even the most die-hard fans of the series.

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Mar 29, 2020

The game’s brevity aside, Bubble Bobble 4 Friends is a blast while it lasts. I love the new upgradable skills, which add an extra layer of depth to the arcade antics without trying to reinvent the wheel. And the ability to participate in multiplayer mayhem with four players makes Taito’s latest offering one of the most enjoyable party games to find its way to the Switch to date.

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Mar 29, 2020

Let’s end by setting the record straight, because I’ve seen enough comments about this game already that I feel it necessary; Exit the Gungeon is not Enter the Gungeon. It literally says that it’s a “small, spin-off” in the Steam page description. Does that mean that it’s completely perfect? Definitely not; some of the levels are a bit too tricky for their own good, and the randomly changing gun mechanic can really hurt you if the game doesn’t play nice (which it often won’t). The devs seem to be very well aware of this, however, and seem to be actively making changes based on player feedback. And that fact, combined with how enjoyable the game already is, makes it a worthwhile pickup if you’re in the mood for something cheap (I’m mostly talking about price), challenging, and charming.

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Mar 26, 2020

While not perfect with its lackluster sounds and just passable framerate, Panzer Dragoon: Remake is about as close to a definitive version of SEGA’s cult classic Saturn shooter that fans could ask for on the Switch. With its gorgeous visuals and a superb soundtrack that’s aged like fine wine, MegaPixel Studios and Forever Entertainment have done an excellent job of modernizing one of the most memorable games of the 32-bit era.

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4 / 5.0 - La-Mulana 1 & 2
Mar 25, 2020

Much like the father-daughter duo that comprise its protagonists, La-Mulana 1 & 2 are clever, tough-as-nails, and don’t hold anything back. There is absolutely no denying that these games are difficult, and those who don’t take a cautious approach and mind a bit of trial-and-error might easily find themselves flustered. However, for those of you who are currently stuck at home and wanting a bit of excitement in your lives, La-Mulana and Eg-Lana await your arrival.

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Mar 24, 2020

Even in the event you’re the sort of chap with a perverse desire to jerk your gherkin in front of random strangers, you’d be underwhelmed by reactions of the game’s dead-eyed denizens. After maybe an initial grunt of amusement at the absurdity of it, the novelty soon wears thin, and the frantic friction sounds of hand upon invisible shaft become the repetitive funeral dirge of a pretty dull experience.

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3 / 5.0 - The Pale City
Mar 21, 2020

If you are looking for a semi-open world RPG that doesn’t hold your hand, plays like a very old school title, and will shock you with how revolting it tries to be, you might actually like The Pale City. If you’re an avid bookworm who mostly enjoys a story aid over a fully-fleshed out game, I can see this being right up your alley — as long as you enjoy the macabre. For anyone else expecting Baldur’s Gate or the like, consider watching a let’s play before making the purchase, and that advice goes double if you have a short attention span.

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5 / 5.0 - Persona 5 Royal
Mar 17, 2020

By this point, it’s fair to say that I’ve talked, ad nauseam, about Persona 5 Royal. But for those of you wanting a TL;DR, here it is: Persona 5 Royal is an absolutely, positively fantastic experience, and anyone who considers themselves to be a fan of the series would be doing themselves a disservice if they didn’t pick it up. I may not know what lies in the future for the Phantom Thieves, but if this game’s any indicator, things are looking very good.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Darksiders Genesis
Mar 16, 2020

Despite its camera quirks and a few random crashes to the PlayStation 4 home screen, I enjoyed my time with Darksiders: Genesis. And if you’re a fan of the series who’s looking for a fresh take on the franchise, I think you will too. Developer Airship Syndicate has done a commendable job of transplanting the Darksiders universe to the hack-and-slash genre. With some genuinely solid puzzles and platforming segments to complement the game’s weighty and fun combat, it’s a game that’s worth experiencing alone, and even better with a friend.

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4 / 5.0 - Effie
Mar 15, 2020

Effie‘s mixture of fairytale storytelling and fun platforming work to make an endearing and playable little gem of a game. It’s by no means groundbreaking, but there’s a ton of love put into it and it displays excellent design, even though the combat could use a bit more refinement.

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4 / 5.0 - Kana Quest
Mar 15, 2020

If you have an interest in learning kana and are truly committed to doing so, Kana Quest will certainly aid you in your studies in a fun, memorable way.

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Mar 12, 2020

I very much enjoyed my time spent with Zombie Army 4: Dead War. As a bit of a horror buff, the game’s goofy, self-aware narrative was a joy to blast my way through. And when it comes to online multiplayer, its cooperative carnage is easy to pick up, and nearly impossible to put down thanks to its addicting scoring system, excellent stage design, and a fun, customizable Horde mode. Still, if you’ve had your fill co-op of zombie shooter like Left 4 Dead, World War Z, and Black Ops 4: Zombies, I’m not sure the game will do enough to rekindle your love for the genre.

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Mar 10, 2020

Even though I have to admit that I’m not crazy about some of the changes implemented by Chara-Ani, these complaints are almost entirely cosmetic. When all is said and done, these decisions don’t do anything to take away from what remains an exceptional pair of SRPGs. And when it comes to content, there’s no denying Langrisser I & II delivers lots of bang for your gaming buck. It’ll take you roughly 40 hours to play through both of the games featured in this collection. Additionally, with Langrisser II’s branching story and a New Game+ Mode that unlocks after completing each game’s campaign, there’s plenty of reason to come back for more after the credits roll.

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Mar 10, 2020

Murder By Numbers is definitely your game if you love picross and Phoenix Wright — heavy emphasis on that order. With a seemingly unending amount of picross puzzles at your disposal and plenty of murders to solve, Murder By Numbers accomplishes everything it sets out to do (and then some).

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3.5 / 5.0 - Antares
Mar 1, 2020

If you’re looking for a space survival FPS that’s new and gorgeous without needing a huge time investment, Antares is definitely something to check out; for anyone else, consider watching some playthroughs before investigating this spooky space station.

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If you’re a Kunio-kun or Double Dragon fan, or both, then this is the bundle you’ve been waiting so long for. This is the game that I personally would take with me if I were going to be stranded on a deserted island. Everything about this bundle is perfect. So dust off those knuckles and prepare your Dragon Feet, because Kunio-kun is now officially stateside!

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Feb 26, 2020

Whether you’ve lived in Selphia for a long time, or have yet to make the journey, Rune Factory 4 Special is absolutely worth picking up.

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Feb 24, 2020

It’s not often that a decades-old game ages as well as we remember through our rose-colored glasses; fans of the original Sonic the Hedgehog 2 would then feel pleased to hear that SEGA AGES Sonic The Hedgehog 2 gives players the best of what they remembered and then some. With the quality of life improvements and the surprise additions of Super Sonic and Knuckles, among other features, SEGA AGES Sonic The Hedgehog 2 was handled with the love and care such a treasured gem deserves.

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