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Hey Poor Player

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1779 games reviewed
74.1 average score
80 median score
61.8% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

May 10, 2017

Does FlatOut 4: Total Insanity restore the series to it’s former glory? Well, kinda-sorta. What is here is really fun and entertaining, but there isn’t enough of it.

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May 10, 2017

I know it may sound like I’m being a bit hard on The Caligula Effect. The problem is that with so many great RPGs available right now, FuRyu’s latest adventure does very little to stand out from the pack. With ho-hum dungeon designs, a half-baked Social Link system, and numerous technical issues (don’t even get me started on the constant frame drops and lengthy load times), this Vita exclusive is a pretty hard sell.

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Rick and Morty: Virtual Rick-ality throws players into madcap mad scientist Rick Sanchez’s meticulously recreated garage-lab to explore its every filthy crevice.

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May 8, 2017

Not only are you getting everything that Mario Kart 8 had to offer, you also get a few new characters, a greatly enhanced Battle mode, and the ability to play wherever you go.

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3 / 5.0 - Syberia 3
May 6, 2017

I really, really, really wanted to like Syberia 3. It had everything that would have interested me – Eurasian people in a Russian-esque setting with a brainy American girl as the lead. What I wanted and what I played, however, were two different games.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Tethered (VR)
May 6, 2017

Imagine you stand in front of a kitchen table. The only things on this table are three cute little mice. Aww. Hey there, little guys. You are tasked with keeping these three mice from crawling off the table. Okay, you might imagine, easy enough. But oh wait, there’s a catch; you can’t just stand with your feet on the floor. The floor is lava.

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Between the lack of puzzles, needless wandering, and general heavy-handedness with certain topics, there were certainly times when I wasn’t enjoying myself as much as I probably should have been.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Little Nightmares
May 5, 2017

Little Nightmares is the finest tidbit of creepiness you’re likely to have this year. It does many things right: it’s dark and unsettling, the gameplay is varied enough to keep players interested, and the style and presentation gives it a character all its own.

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3 / 5.0 - Outlast II
May 4, 2017

The game is gorgeous and sounds amazing, but there is no meat on the bone. 10 hours of running and hiding is not fun at all.

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There’s a lot of game for the price being asked, and if you’re up for it, it’ll be worth it in the long run.

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Episode 1 of Guardians of the Galaxy: The Telltale Series isn’t part of the movie universe, and doesn’t try to be. It’s characters, mostly, take more cues from film than page, but the story itself is uninhibited by any existing canon. I entered worrying Telltale might try too hard to tie this closely to what we already know, and exited laughing at myself.

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5 / 5.0 - Persona 5
Apr 19, 2017

Make no mistake about it, this is one game that will steal your heart from your chest. If this is the future of Persona, I can’t wait to see where Atlus takes us next.

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Apr 18, 2017

It’s obvious when a game is made with love, and this game is a great example of that.

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3 / 5.0 - Bullet Soul
Apr 18, 2017

If you like taking a one way trip to Bullet Hell, you will have fun. Everyone else, you’re better off looking elsewhere.

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Apr 18, 2017

. If you’re a fan of the original or just looking for a charming, retro-inspired adventure, Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap is a game you’ll want to experience at least once.

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Apr 18, 2017

If you’re a die-hard fan of platformers, eager to play everything the genre has to offer, than you might find that the jazzy music and whimsical charm of Voodoo Vince Remastered is just what the (witch) doctor ordered. But for everyone else, you really should just play Yooka-Laylee.

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Apr 15, 2017

"Does this new port job make or break the experience for console players? Well, nothing's broken, but there are some rusty wheels on this cart, and the carpentry job could have been better."

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Apr 6, 2017

If Bulletstorm flew under your radar before, don’t let it happen again.

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Apr 5, 2017

Danganronpa 1-2 Reload unloads two full clips of murder mystery mayhem into the PS4 that no fan of the genre will want to miss.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Yooka Laylee
Apr 4, 2017

No, it may not do anything particularly new or innovative, but it doesn’t really need to – it’s still one of the most solid, charming, and just plain fun platformers in years. It has its flaws, yes, like any other game, but those flaws are offset by a brilliantly-designed open world and the ridiculous amount of content on offer. It’s a welcome reminder of a bygone era that feels familiar even as it offers vast improvements on its storied predecessors.

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