Levi van Tine's Reviews
'Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator' feels like the kind of party game idea that devs would bandy about at a brainstorming session, briefly reminiscing about Monte Python before tossing it into the bin with the other bad ideas. Instead, Vile Monarch actually went through with making it, and I can say in no uncertain terms that it is not my cup of tea.
I have not played '7 Days to Die' on Steam and I am struggling to understand why people would choose this over some of the really excellent survival games out there. Maybe on PC it’s really great. On the Xbox One it is not.
Platforming on the Xbox One is a neglected niche, but even with sparse competition, 'Funk of Titans' doesn't have much going for it. It's value priced, and a first time console effort, and the transition from mobile to console has not been smooth. It's a mostly drab, joyless grind fraught with control issues and beset on all sides by a low production value. It had opportunities for humor and more compelling gameplay, but doesn't capitalize on them, instead opting for shallow level design and an emphasis on quick-time events.
'Shiny' is very lightweight, too lightweight for its own good, in fact. It wants to tap into the ongoing retro platform revival that's so popular in the indie scene, but is a clunky, clumsy imitation without many redeeming qualities.
Vile Monarch’s Grzegorz and Kacper have done some awesome stuff in their career - 'This War of Mine' is a personal favorite. With 'Crush Your Enemies' I don’t know what happened. They tried to subvert the genre of mobile gaming and satirize the clickfest, and yet they just created what they were trying to parody.
Perhaps after such goodness in licensed games such as 'Arkham' and 'Mordor' I have become spoiled, but I really thought Platinum could deliver a great (or at least good) Ninja Turtles title, especially after their decent work with the Transformers. Sadly, I was mistaken. This is a very short and very weak rendition of the Turtles. With the exception of perhaps the youngest and most devoted fans of the pizza-loving reptilian brothers, it can be easily skipped.
'Laserlife' may have been successful as a tech demo of some kind, perhaps showcasing a new style of music game or abstract take on exposition in gaming. As a final product, it is woefully incomplete. It could have been more, perhaps with clearer writing, a stronger soundtrack, and precise gameplay. Even if it had those traits, it would still struggle, as the gameplay never really shines, despite its hypnotic qualities.
Warner Brothers has promised three pieces of story content for the 'Arkham Knight' season pass. If this little fragment of a game is what players can expect, then the pricey $40 season pass is going to be a disappointment. 'A Matter of Family' releases on July 21st for non-season pass holders at $7, but I wouldn't recommend it.
'Escape Dead Island' is more or less playable from a technical standpoint. I wish I could praise it more than that. It has almost no redeeming qualities, no personality to speak of, and really isn't fun at all. Many of the design decisions are inscrutable. The 'Dead Island' series is not the best zombie gaming experience out there, but the previous two titles are at least worth playing. This one is not.
I wish I had better things to say about 'Payday 2: Crimewave Edition'. On the surface it looks a lot like a less shiny 'Grand Theft Auto' with a heavy emphasis on co-op, but in the right circumstances it can be a fun experience. It has many of the common hallmarks of online games, right down to the leveling system, but there is just something about pulling off a slick bank job that is deeply satisfying. Still, until its broken multiplayer has been repaired, it's best to steer clear of this one.
Even after three months of back-and-forth with the community, Bungie is still 'Destiny's' worst enemy.
The writing team is doing a decent job with the direction and script of 'Batman: The Telltale Series', but the severely strained engine rears its ugly head at every opportunity. Telltale's formula and tech both are very familiar by now and have their flaws, which we've been able to overlook for the sake of an otherwise enjoyable story. The lag has nearly reached a critical mass, however.
'Adam Wolfe' is a somewhat pretty and ultimately routine HOPA. It differs little from its predecessors in this genre, and as sheer time-wasters go it pales in comparison to so many other casual and, I dare to say it, social media games. The folks over at Madhead are clearly lovers of the HOPA but this a niche field to say the least, and 'Adam Wolfe' has little mainstream appeal.
Where 'Lone Survivor' succeeded, 'Claire,' has trouble. It relies too much on being lost, both in terms of interaction and narrative drive. Even if it had a more interesting protagonist, the game's inconsistent ability to remain scary holds it back.
'Little King's Story' on PC is a shoddy port of a game that has not aged particularly well. The mouse and keyboard controls are a real pain, and the game is simple enough that they didn't have to be. The gameplay never excited me while I played, and even the trivial things like saving and navigating menus just exasperated me. Returning fans ought to appreciate having a PC version, (especially with so many Wiis seemingly now retired). For everybody else, I really don't have anything good to say about it, and that's surprising given how well it was received in 2009.
I had a tough time taking 'The Bunker' seriously. It was an admirable attempt at live-action psychological horror, but the John segments meander on and stumble around like the main character. It's not entirely predictable, but nor is it treading new ground.
'The Underground' is worth trying out if you’ve committed to a pass, but certainly not worth buying on its own.
'Wasteland Workshop' seems more like free update material, or additions that would have come naturally if mod support was a thing. As it stands, it’s a mix of unwieldy creature traps, mildly novel base building objects, and a few handy doodads. We’ll keep our fingers crossed for next month’s 'Far Harbor'.
To be fair, it’s tough making a convincing argument for the hidden object genre as anything more than a workplace timekiller when other browser game sites have been firewalled. Artifex Mundi has some decent puzzle work in their portfolio, but 'Enigmatis: The Ghosts of Maple Creek' was more of a chore than an engaging adventure experience.
Taken by itself, 'Cold Darkness Awakened' is not a particularly convincing reason to purchase 'Rise of the Tomb Raider's season pass. For those who already own the pass, it’s not a bad way to spend an hour or two, but it probably won’t offer much more than that. It doesn’t offer enough freshness or gameplay to justify a separate purchase.