This could have been handled well. Love Kuesuto, though clearly antiquated in concept, could have been given a little bit of a fun tone – play as a woman, have more open ended questions, involve literally any gameplay – but it’s just rough and painful. It takes far too long to play while also taking no time at all. It isn’t fun, it isn’t clever, and it soapboxes so hard to no one about nothing. You could watch an Andrew Tate video fed through a Donald Duck voice filter and get the same amount of humor and good information.
Burrow of the Fallen Bear: A Gay Furry Visual Novel really stressed the point that people who enjoy this game also enjoy multiple sexual encounters with multiple partners with zero connection other than physical. That all beliefs, ideas and personal codes can be thrown out the window if arousal is observed. If this is just meant to be erotica, put that in the title.
It’s not sexy enough to justify how bad the gameplay is, there is no story that could possibly explain anything that’s happening on screen (why am I hacking into a computer to look at nude photos of strangers?), and the number of titles out there that deliver more eroticism with less blatant sex pandering are high. Everyone will judge you for playing this, and no one will be your character witness in court afterwards. It’s hot trash, and if you’re seriously into the character design here, there are better games that are actually games. Please, don’t do this to yourself. You deserve better.
This is a fully formed digital release on the most profitable console on the planet at this time. It has nothing for no one, and I’m just sad that someone probably will play this in an attempt to make life a bit better. Bad news, mate: this fish is dead in the water.
If you can parse down the file size significantly, change the interface so you aren’t using a floating mouse cursor, lower the unlock price tags and polish the performance overall, this could be a fun little title regardless of your familiarity with Warmhammer 40,000. As it stands, Dakka Squadron is boring, repetitive, painful and a waste of time, especially if you aren’t out here just to screech a line from a game while others hoot in acknowledgement.
When I give a game up as a loss, it’s not because of difficulty. Games are open and often brazen about unfair levels of hardness, and I am inherently terrible at games, but still love them. Something being “hard” is not a reason to bounce off or give it an awful score. When I give up on a game, it’s because it’s either boring or broken, and Saga of the Moon Priestess managed to be both.
You could literally buy a decent deck of cards and just search the internet for “hot anime girls” and end up with the same result, but better. More variety in whatever waifu you want to look at, and you can play other games with the deck of cards. Maybe even play against people. Hell, this could be your gateway into socialization so that you stop wasting time on clickbait games that seek to use your libido against your wallet.
Maybe it was too difficult to incorporate, maybe it made the game too easy, I couldn’t tell you. What I can say is Rainbow Cotton is the magical girl wrapped version of a Cybertruck. Quirky and odd, the novelty wears off when you can’t control it and it ultimately crashes and burns, killing you with design flaws that the creators were well aware of.
That is my feeling, my awful, heavy feeling about Arcana of Paradise ~ The Tower. If I had gotten exceedingly lucky with my first roll of characters, maybe I would have been hooked by the grindloop and joyfully gotten bread for my fellow kids. Instead, I just felt disappointment and disinterest grow like a fungus in my heart. I kept trying to play so I could find more, figure out what it is that makes it tick, and I found nothing. This isn’t worth my time, and I can’t say, with any confidence, that it’s worth yours.
The minigame competitive scene is already chock full of great choices, and Garfield Lasagna Party isn’t one of them. It’s somehow both too long and too short at the same time, with minigames and animations running overtime, and gameplay being terse and light.
Fashion Dreamer is an extreme version of Paper Dolls with the added bonus of a never ending parade of additional playmates. If you have the time and the resolve, you have a fascinating, perpetually positive world of fashion, creativity and interactions. In that realm, it has endless possibilities, and that’s going to be great for some. But, if you’re hoping for a reason behind it all – a story, a goal, something besides “because it’s there” – then this is one trend that we simply won’t be joining.
Perhaps that’s one of the grand takeaways from Sakramazuzu: there are many questions that both the living and the dead harbor about the Great Beyond. In a tale about existence and meaning with its own quirky styling and approach, it’s natural that we all find something that sits uncomfortably in our own minds. It could be that I, myself, am beset with an awkward position when a conversation lulls and thus need to talk, and I see that reflected in Zuzu and am unhappy with that lens. Or, perhaps, I just need a game to do something other than talk AT me in the middle of trying to discover a bigger purpose.
Getting from point A to B in Chemically Bonded takes only the effort of reading and little else. There’s a few endings but all can be achieved rather easily. It’s a contained universe that doesn’t feel like it merits sequels, but who knows, maybe more might be on the way? The glimpse of Ceri and the art style makes me feel like there’s potential for more from ds-sans, but I hope they swing for the fences next time.
Mr. Prepper has decent graphics, a fun throughline for a story, and really opens up in terms of actions the further on you go. Yet it’s the needing to do it in such a limited window, both for the auto-save countdown and the lack of mouse, that keep it from being something that I’d come back to time and again. I might consider picking it up on the computer in the future, but I don’t think anyone should be playing it on the Switch. It’s just not what the burgeoning prepper deserves.
The major issue is, for something so potentially grand and promising, there’s just no fuel to keep the fire going. You find handfuls of tinder and the occasional decent stick to build a little heat, but when the most exciting moments come from shooting massive spiders and finding innovative ways to run around the map, it’s just a bit of a splodge that doesn’t ever quite find its shape.
I feel The Hungry Lamb is for a specific audience, though I can’t quite align with whom that might be. It’s not thrilling enough to land in constant VN recommendations, it’s got uncomfortable relationships which will put most people off, and the endings never hit the high note that satisfies everything.
Geometry Survivor is a rather simple title that could go one of two ways. Either it stays the way it is and just fades into obscurity, or it continues to build and becomes something great. The potential is there: the groundwork has been laid and the concept is solid. But there needs to be more in terms of every direction, from more areas to more weapons and more excitement. Make some fake achievements, create a daily scoreboard, add a massive time speedup, just do SOMETHING so this isn’t as small and shallow as a cloudburst puddle.
If, like me, you have a curiosity and fondness for games from back in the day, then Cosmic Fantasy Collection is something that merits a bit more investigation, but I sadly can’t recommend it strongly. Besides the manual and the sound/movie viewers, the QOL improvements that other straight JRPG ports have received are nonexistent, and, without the ability to speed up encounters or exploration, the time takes its toll on your patience. Physical collectors would do well to grab their copies quickly, and, should the second Cosmic Fantasy Collection come calling, it definitely has my interest: it can only get better from here.
A Boy and his Blob Retro Collection strikes me as on the same level as a parking lot carnival. When you’re young, it’s exciting and fun because your parents aren’t taking you anywhere else and there’s sugar involved. When you get older, you see the seams and the shortcomings and honestly wonder if it’s worth your time. The answer lies in how important nostalgia is for your gaming excitement.
Maybe when I just want to have a pulpy storyline with a bunch of turn based combat, I pick up a short RPG and blast away at mutated animals and doomsday cultists and call it a day. Perhaps, when I’m hungry for it, For A Vast Future is just the snack I need. Sadly, today, I was looking for something a bit more filling, and this left me just a bit dissatisfied.