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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

5 / 5.0 - Cocoon
Oct 10, 2023

The closest to a negative thing I can say about COCOON is that I wish there were more of it. I wish I could forget everything I know about it so that I could experience it again for the first time. That those moments of jaw-dropping awe could hit as hard as they did my first time through. While I can’t have those moments back, though, you can still experience them. If you haven’t played COCOON yet, they’re still waiting for you to find them.

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4 / 5.0 - Long Gone Days
Oct 10, 2023

Long Gone Days may not be the most engaging RPG in terms of its gameplay, but you’ll struggle to find another RPG this year with as much heart and passion for its subject matter. By focusing less on the huge conflict that serves as the backdrop, and instead focusing on the smaller, more touching tales of people going above and beyond to help one another through awful situations, Long Gone Days truly feels like nothing else I’ve played. Had the combat been a little more engaging, Long Gone Days would absolutely have been a better time, but even as it stands, it’s a title that excels enough in everything else it does and is well worth experiencing.

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Oct 9, 2023

Ten years ago, I’d have been eager to play a game like Hauma – A Detective Noir Story. With few new options to explore a genre I loved, I was eager for anything that even had a scrap of quality, and while its story and characters aren’t particularly strong and its gameplay has issues, a great art style, and solid voice acting keep things relatively enjoyable. There’s nothing truly wrong with any major aspect of Hauma. The issue is that most aspects of the game don’t do much that’s all that right either. Genre fans will find a game that is perfectly playable but which most will forget as soon as they’re done with it. Hauma – A Detective Noir Story is a prime example of why not every mystery needs to be solved.

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Oct 7, 2023

While not without issues—the worst offender still being the inadequate tutorials—The Fabulous Fear Machine is an incredibly refreshing spin on the real-time strategy genre. With unexpectedly detailed, if at times slightly questionable, narratives underpinning each of its three campaigns and an art style that looks and feels like nothing else in the genre, The Fabulous Fear Machine does the impossible and makes being evil a whole lot of fun through its fresh gameplay loops and devilishly delightful assortment of legends. If you’ve got a mean streak and have always wanted a safe environment in which to find out what it feels like to have people unquestionably devote themselves to you and your cause, well, firstly, you should be on a watch list somewhere, and secondly, you should absolutely check out The Fabulous Fear Machine.

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Oct 6, 2023

If Ubisoft’s mission with Assassins Creed Mirage was clearly to create something that paid tribute to the series’ roots while acting as an entry point for new fans, and perhaps a re-entry point for lapsed ones, then that mission has been well and truly accomplished. The razor-sharp focus on throwback stealth gameplay, stripping back of RPG systems, and de-emphasizing of melee combat all come together to create the most focused entry in years. Melee combat may feel awful, and the wilderness regions woefully underutilized, but when the streets of Baghdad itself are as joyous to explore as they are, and the stealth combat represents not just a return to form, but a series high, it’s hard to see those flaws as anything other than minor blemishes. I have no doubt that the future of Assassins Creed largely lies in more sprawling RPGs, but Assassins Creed Mirage shows that the classic formula still holds value, so here’s hoping Ubisoft sees a world in which the new can exist with the old.

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DLC can vary wildly in length, and just because the added content is short doesn’t always mean it’s not worth checking out. Cassette Beasts: The Pier of the Unknown is, unfortunately, far closer to the lean side. But beyond its brief runtime and some same-y boss fights, it still managed to tick off most of the boxes of things I was looking for. There are a few interesting new monsters to transform into, Archangels to battle, and some challenging platforming to make this eerie expansion a worthwhile experience for the spookiest month of the year. That said, here’s hoping this is just the first hint of potentially larger DLC to come in the future, because the short length certainly has me wanting more.

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Oct 4, 2023

I’m not sure I’ve ever played a racing game that feels better than Forza Motorsport. Whether you’re controlling the fastest car in the game or the slowest, it’s compelling to push each vehicle to its limits and keep finding ways to improve your ride. I wish the experience around this core gameplay found more ways to create a compelling journey, but fans of the genre are mainly coming for the racing itself, and they’ll find everything they need in Forza Motorsport.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Pixel Ripped 1995
Oct 4, 2023

While it’s over all too soon, if you grew up in the 16-bit era and love retro games, you owe it to yourself to give Pixel Ripped 1995 a try. And with the PSVR2 version’s improved visual fidelity and superb controls, there’s never been a better time to do so. Pixel Ripped 1995 is escapism at its finest, a nostalgic love letter to classic gaming that will transport you back to a simpler time. If that sounds up your alley, then don’t hesitate to add the game to your PSVR2 library.

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Oct 4, 2023

For all intents and purposes, if you want a blast from the past with a hidden twist all wrapped up in a tidy little package, I Doesn’t Exist is harmless enough that I’d recommend the venture. Just temper your expectations a bit and have some patience set aside for the text-input side of I Doesn’t Exist. After all, who knows when the next time will be that we’ll actually see someone using text-adventure gameplay again.

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Oct 3, 2023

Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles is easily the best game I’ve played from Akupara Games thus far. It’s challenging, beautiful, complex, and an utter joy to play. Not only is it an amazing example of the rogue-like genre, but it’s also one of the first dice-builders I’ve ever played. If you’re at all a fan of the genre, do yourself a favor and get a copy!

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3.5 / 5.0 - High on Knife
Oct 2, 2023

Ultimately, High on Knife‘s tale of a wayward Knifey was full of fun characterization combined with a brief but satisfying story. The new pinball-themed gun is a hit, and Knifey’s special upgrade needs to be seen and experienced for yourself. With any luck, we’ll see some more DLC down the road, and hopefully then, Harper will be left behind.

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Oct 1, 2023

Fate/Samurai Remnant is a must-play for fans of the Fate franchise and worth checking out for anyone who loves a good anime-style game. I can’t say it’ll win over all musou fans due to its focus on storytelling slowing the pacing, but I suspect it may convince those who typically shy away from musou games to give it a second look. In the very least, Fate/Samurai Remnant has a cool premise with fun characters that develop and grow as the story progresses, so if you’ve already had your eye on this one, you shouldn’t be disappointed.

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Dai’s video game debut may not feature the same level of robustness as its core series counterparts, but, as an action-based anime spin-off, it’s an absolute delight. Whether you’ve been following the anime or manga, or just consider yourself to be a Dragon Quest fan, Infinity Strash: Dragon Quest The Adventure offers an all-around good time.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Jets‘n'Guns 2
Sep 29, 2023

While I do feel its balancing could have used some work, and the overly busy visuals can sometimes make the action indecipherable, Jets’nGuns 2 is tough to put down once it gets its hooks in you and you learn to look past its occasional shortcomings. With its excellent presentation and an upgrade system that encourages experimentation and careful planning, this one’s easy to recommend to shmup junkies looking for a challenge.

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Sep 28, 2023

Rise of the Triad: Ludicrous Edition is a lovingly made restoration of a cult favourite FPS title that significantly improves the source material. However, it can’t hide how fundamentally dated and limited the core design is. It just doesn’t stand the test of time like Doom or other classic 90’s shooters. Nonetheless, old-school FPS fans, and those looking for a shooter that doesn’t take itself too seriously, will be pleased and punch with this truly definitive version of Rise of the Triad.

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3.5 / 5.0 - One Military Camp
Sep 27, 2023

One Military Camp is a solid, if somewhat safe, base builder that makes crafting your own base and developing your own army a genuinely entertaining affair. There’s a real satisfaction to be had in finally landing on the perfect base and developing squads of soldiers that stand the best chance of surviving certain missions. It’s a shame, then, that an overreliance on manually managing your troops and base, and the lack of any interactive missions or battles, leaves it currently feeling like a bit of a missed opportunity, and somewhat half-baked. That being said, with such a solid foundation, there is definitely fun to be had for fans of the genre, and with a few more content updates that would hopefully address some of the quality-of-life issues while fleshing out some of the more passive elements, One Military Camp has the potential to be something special.

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The Legend of Nayuta: Boundless Trails is a fun action RPG whose portable origins shine through for better and worse. While definitely fun, its story and gameplay can feel a tad slight at times, especially as the game goes on. Still, fans of Falcom’s other titles will find a lot of what they love about the developer’s work here and should absolutely give The Legend of Nayuta a shot.

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3 / 5.0 - Silent Hope
Sep 27, 2023

For a game that’s supposedly Rune Factory-adjacent, I’ve got to say that I feel a little let down here. Between its engaging premise, large cast of playable characters, and emphasis on crafting, Silent Hope offers a lot to players but never really goes anywhere interesting with it. As a fan of both Marvelous and Rune Factory, I know that this developer is capable of creating games with plenty of depth. Ironically, however, the game about literally exploring a near-endless abyss isn’t one of them. The game does have its charms, to be sure, but the sheer amount of potentially cool things that it could have done (and didn’t do) left me feeling more frustrated than anything.

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It’s rare for a sequel to be better than the original. It’s even rarer for it to so eclipse it that they feel like completely different species. Nevertheless, that’s the magic trick that Cyber Citizen Shockman 2: A New Menace pulls off. It’s a beautiful retro adventure full of great artwork and amazing music, with lots of accessibility options to make it a bit easier. While the goofy story is nothing to write home about, it’s a great adventure and a tribute to a lost era of Japanese-only videogames. If you’re a fan of game history or just enjoy platformers, be sure to check this one out.

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Sep 26, 2023

El Paso, Elsewhere stands as a testament to what indie games can achieve. While it borrows elements from giants, it carves its unique identity, blending retro aesthetics, a gripping narrative, and a hip-hop soundtrack into a cohesive experience. Its shortcomings, though present, don’t overshadow its achievements. The game offers a haunting journey through its surreal world, making it a memorable title in the third-person shooter genre. As the credits rolled, I couldn’t help but appreciate the game’s effort to be more than just another shooter—it’s an earnest triumph that breathes freshness into a sea of familiarity.

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