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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

4 / 5.0 - SPRAWL
Aug 23, 2023

Sprawl is a focused and fun boomer shooter, even though it whets your appetite for more than it ends up giving you. There’s some brilliant ambience and scenery that suggests a much richer, more complex world than you get to see in its straightforward levels, empty of people and things to do other than an army of familiar foes to kill. Nonetheless, the gunplay is top-notch, especially when mixed with some wall-running parkour action. If you’re looking for an entertaining FPS with a satisfyingly cyberpunky flavour then Sprawl is just the right implant to augment your Steam library.

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Aug 22, 2023

Deconstructeam’s five years spent on The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood has resulted in one of the most ingenious games ever made; if you’re into tarot, I know you’ll agree with this assessment. From its aesthetics to its mechanics, from its story to its impact, The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood is a one-of-a-kind experience made with love by video game artisans. Don’t let The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood’s understated beauty and vibes fool you — it’s easily in my top 5 games this year and is clear GOTY material, and if you’re ready to ponder the mysteries of a cosmic witch coven, I’m certain it’ll be one of your favorites too.

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Aug 22, 2023

Subjectively speaking, I absolutely adore this game. Objectively, however, it’s far from perfect. All-in-all, The Caligula Effect: Overdose is a unique JRPG with a captivating story enveloped in the fragility of human psychology, but tends to fall a bit flat when it comes to actual gameplay. Its decision to move to the PS5 also still baffles me. Still, I’d recommend playing it if you’re interested. And, hey, I guess you can play it on the modern PlayStation platform of your choice, too!

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4.5 / 5.0 - Immortals of Aveum
Aug 21, 2023

With its supernatural shootouts, some may dismiss Immortals of Aveum as Call of Duty with magic, but it’s so much more than that. It has the mechanics to spice up combat in all the right ways, even if it’s a bit of a learning curve, and battles can get very hectic because of how much there is to keep track of. A slight misstep in the prologue is easily forgotten about when you watch the rest of the story unfold, skillfully dodging the usual military-esque tropes that tend to follow a genre like this, instead giving us solidly built and enjoyable characters to flesh out a damn fine world-building suite. If a mystical boomer shooter sounds like a magical time, Immortals of Aveum is sure to leave you under its spell.

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3 / 5.0 - Unholy
Aug 21, 2023

Unholy is a mish-mash of interesting but underdeveloped ideas, with an intriguing aesthetic style. There are scares to be had but they’re often undermined by clunky design and a somewhat goofy dramatic delivery. Unholy is one of those games that I’m painfully ambivalent about; I love and hate parts of it. I can see the promise of a brilliant horror game here, but like the Prophet’s false promise of an eternal paradise, it’s one that goes unfulfilled.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Dust & Neon
Aug 17, 2023

If you want a new roguelike to play that’s more on the gentle and forgiving side, Dust & Neon certainly isn’t a bad effort. The gunplay is satisfying, making you feel like a badass gunslinger, but there’s too much to fault regarding its repetition and sense of sterility that what glimmers of goodness there are get submerged in banality. Whether it’s the feather-thin story and context, the dull mission objectives, or the general lack of character, Dust & Neon fails to make the most out of its Western setting and its pleasing gunplay. Dust & Neon is worth unloading bullets into robot cores for an hour or two, but it won’t sustain you for too long afterwards. Consider this one scrapped.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Baldur's Gate 3
Aug 16, 2023

Baldur’s Gate 3 may not be the most welcoming game to those not well-versed in the CRPG genre, but once you get past any initial hurdles, you’ll find one of the most profound and engrossing releases the genre has seen in the last decade. It allows so much freedom and so many options that it can be rather overwhelming, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is the sort of game I know I’ll be replaying to see more paths and more options for years to come.

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Aug 16, 2023

Cramped Room of Death feels like a solid starting point for an excellent sequel. The spear mechanic brilliantly subverts what would otherwise be a standard puzzle experience. It’s easy to recommend to genre fans and those looking for something a little different. However, a little more variety would have made it a must-have. I don’t regret the 10+ hours I spent with it, though, and neither will you.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Nimbus INFINITY
Aug 15, 2023

And, I think that word perhaps best sums up Nimbus Infinity as an overall experience. Unremarkable. There’s fun to be had for sure in the frantically paced and enemy-packed combat encounters, but when you take into consideration the fact that you never feel as though you’re piloting an almighty mech and the entirely forgettable nature of the art design and the narrative, it’s hard to make a case as to why Nimbus Infinity is worth spending time with. If you’re okay with playing through a short, breezy five-hour campaign that provides an evening’s worth of decent aerial combat, you might want to dive in, especially considering the budget price point. However, those who are seeking out a meaningful mech experience that succeeds in letting you live out one of the ultimate power fantasies may want to look elsewhere for their thrills.

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3 / 5.0 - Sclash
Aug 14, 2023

Despite some nagging issues, Sclash mostly succeeds in delivering a streamlined yet challenging combat experience that any fighting game purist will enjoy, and any newbie can too, without much hassle. So if fast-paced, strategic, samurai swordfights are your cup of tea, don’t hesitate to pick up Sclash and lay waste to your foes.

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Aug 14, 2023

While Friday the 13th will always hold a special place inside my heart, I think it’s time to stop mourning and move on, because Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a complete success. It’s a varied and surprisingly deep character roster, each character with their own niche to fill and progression paths to follow, coupled with excellent map design and variety, position Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a title that will absolutely become my new asymmetrical go-to. While I do have some concerns around balance, and the huge grinds that the progression systems represent may not be for me, those are relatively minor blemishes on what is an otherwise fantastic package at launch. It’s authentic, bloody, and terrifying – quite frankly, it’s everything that I wanted the Texas Chainsaw Massacre to be. Now, if you don’t mind me, I’m just about ready to get back to spilling some guts.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Quake II
Aug 14, 2023

Quake II is the new King of remasters. Proving that with a fresh coat of paint, some of the 90s’ best games can still hold up brilliantly today, Quake II is the best shooter I’ve played in years. Its visceral action is far more satisfying than the vast majority of shooters that release today, and modern improvements have helped sand away some of the rougher edges of its era. Whether you spent hours enjoying this one 25 years ago or you’ve never touched it before, you should absolutely make sure to check out the year’s best bargain.

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4 / 5.0 - Venba
Aug 14, 2023

Venba is ultimately over quite soon, but I’d rather have a beautiful but small experience that will stay with me than one that lingers too long and wears out its welcome. There are a few parts of its story that could perhaps have been explored with more depth, but its story comes together to span a generation in the blink of an eye and leave players feeling satisfied with the experience. This is a game well worth experiencing, which even the busiest players should be able to fit into a free evening.

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Aug 11, 2023

It feels like at some point in development Nao Games decided that Ninja or Die needed more. More to do, more complexity, more than the simple gameplay which makes up its core. That’s a shame because the core of Ninja or Die is its biggest strength, at least when it works. It just needs to work more consistently. There’s definite potential in its core, and I’d be curious to check out an update or follow-up to see if that core could be refined, but the game as it exists today is hard to recommend as more than a curiosity.

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2 / 5.0 - Lifeless Moon
Aug 10, 2023

A nice look and decent pacing aren’t enough for me to recommend a game to pretty much anyone, though. I came in really wanting to like Lifeless Moon, but pretty much everything I enjoyed about it I could see in the screenshots and trailer. There are too many good puzzle games out there nowadays to spend time on one which has so little going for it.

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4 / 5.0 - Adore
Aug 9, 2023

At the end of the day, though, that’s not the vision the developers had for Adore and that’s fine, as what they have produced is a damn fine spin on the monster taming genre all the same. Look past the repetition, and you’ll find that early simplicity was a complete red herring, as the complexities of team synergy, hidden passives, and the real-time combat suck you in. The core of what’s here is excellent, and while the narrow scope of the moment-to-moment gameplay loops may feel a little limiting, they allow the excellent core combat and surprising depth to shine through. If, like me, you were a little tired of the genre rehashing the same formula for what feels like forever, then Adore, while not without its flaws, will likely feel like a total breath of fresh air.

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Aug 4, 2023

Slime Girl Smoothies is an engaging, sometimes sexy puzzle excursion from eastasiasoft. While I was initially perplexed to discover it’s not a match-3, I grew to enjoy the puzzle mechanics. It features an eclectic group of rather horny slime girls to interact with, and a few modes to keep things fresh. Despite all that, it’s held back by some translation issues, long load times and some confusing UI issues. But if you can look past that, it’s a solid puzzle experience for mature gamers.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Remnant II
Aug 2, 2023

Remnant 2 captures that sense of wonder and mystery that drives the feeling of exploration; the kind that awards players who sink their teeth into the world around them. It feels like I’m always spotting something new, even after resetting the worlds, and I cannot emphasize enough what a great gameplay loop it provides. Sure, not every boss is fun, and there’s plenty I straight-up hate, and yet I keep on coming back for more. There are so many builds you can mess with, so many weird and wild guns, and a very solid blend of RPG elements and roguelite elements. The gunplay feels great, and while the difficulty can be challenging, you’re given more than enough tools to conquer these randomized worlds. With so much to explore, Remnant 2 will have you rooted in your seat for many hours to come.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Space Cats Tactics
Aug 1, 2023

I really want to emphasize that no matter what score I give, respect should be given to any developer striking it out solo, with Alex being no exception. The visuals are damn good-looking for an indie effort, and the core gameplay is shockingly solid for being a blend of FTL and XCOM. I see so much room for a game like this to grow and develop, and I’d even go as far as to say I’d gladly go another round if there were a few fixes for the lack of checkpoints, laggy ship transitions, and a bit more depth added to the gameplay. Sadly, Space Cats Tactics in its current form doesn’t stray much farther from general tactics roots, and the characters, while cute for the first few minutes, don’t evolve much more from there, either. If you can work around that and some rather irksome bugs and glitches, I really do encourage giving this a run for being something rather unique in its field, if not to give some support to a solo dev that really has passion put in his project.

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Aug 1, 2023

I honestly had a great time playing Mr. Run and Jump. There’s a variety of fun mechanics, solid platforming, and distinct challenge. That said, the challenge may be too much for some folks, and I even considered throwing my controller aside in frustration several times. If you can push through the difficulty, there’s a ton of replay value and a surprisingly humorous adventure to enjoy—a great effort from Atari, Graphite Lab, and Heavy Horse Games.

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