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Hey Poor Player

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1786 games reviewed
74.2 average score
80 median score
61.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

4.5 / 5.0 - Amnesia: Rebirth
Oct 28, 2020

Amnesia: Rebirth is a worthy addition to a classic series. It buries the player deep in an oppressive atmosphere of fear like a gravedigger spading dirt onto a coffin. If the state of the world today isn’t terrifying enough for you, picking up Amnesia: Rebirth will certainly sate your lust for scares.

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Oct 28, 2020

Missed opportunities combine with terrible optimization and a plethora of bugs to create a game that quickly becomes a frustrating slog. There’s the brutalized skeleton of a good survival horror game buried within Remothered: Broken Porcelain. The story is excellent and will stick with me for years to come. It’s just a shame that for everything the game does right when it comes to its gameplay and storytelling, a severe lack of polish and poor optimization never fail to emerge from the shadows to murder any hopes you had of having a good time.

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Oct 28, 2020

Re:Turn never really gets anywhere close to feeling conclusive. Rather than making its story into a proper “hill,” where there are both ups and downs, this game’s story is more akin to an endless upward slope; you want to know what’s on the other side, but climbing for so long with no end in sight is also tiresome.

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Oct 28, 2020

With fantastic writing, well-designed levels, great attention to detail and a surprisingly challenging combat system, Undead Darlings is a wonderful playthrough if you love zombies, dating sims, or dungeon crawler RPGs. Yet despite all these accomplishments, the game is severely hindered by its sloppy and often frustrating UI.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Shut In
Oct 28, 2020

Shut In had to grow on me. I spent an awful lot of time frustrated with it before I considered its original angle of conveying the emotions (or lack thereof) felt during quarantine, and that new perspective allowed me to look past the otherwise annoying issues. If you’re looking for a commentary on the effects of the pandemic on an already fragile psyche, Shut In just might be up your alley.

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Oct 26, 2020

If you’re a beat-’em-up fanatic with a PlayStation Store balance to burn, 9 Monkeys of Shaolin might soothe your fighting spirit for an afternoon or so. But at $30, it’s hard to recommend to all but the most pugilistic players out there. If you’re looking for a PS4 brawler with a bit more meat on its bones, I’d recommend getting your hands on Fight’N Rage or Streets of Rage 4 first. Not only are they cheaper options, but they also offer much more bang for your gaming buck.

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Oct 25, 2020

Neighbours back From Hell took me on a trip to early 2000s gaming, and honestly, I was absolutely here for it. It may not be the smoothest experience and I’m certainly missing some quality of life updates that would have made quite a difference, but that didn’t stop Neighbours back From Hell from being the low-brow, low-effort kind of fun that doesn’t take itself seriously.

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Oct 23, 2020

Recommending Vigil: The Longest Night is incredibly simple: if you’re a fan of Metroidvanias and you loved Salt and Sanctuary, you can’t afford to pass this one up.

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Nihon Falcom’s Trails of Cold Steel proudly stands amongst the few which can truly be considered to be at the pinnacle of the modern-day, story-driven JRPG, and it was truly wonderful seeing the culmination of the series’ work within The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel IV.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Foregone
Oct 23, 2020

Overall, Big Blue Bubbles’ latest addition to the Metroidvania genre is a really enjoyable game that I had a ton of fun with. While it may be yet another Dead Cells clone, its weighty combat, challenging foes, slick maneuverability, and gorgeous aesthetics do just enough to set Foregone apart from its contemporaries.

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4 / 5.0 - ScourgeBringer
Oct 23, 2020

With glorious pixel art, engaging fighting sequences, and plenty of exploration, ScourgeBringer is an absolute treat for veterans of the roguelite genre who want some punishing pixel art play.

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4 / 5.0 - Disc Room
Oct 22, 2020

If you’re up for a slice and dice kind of challenge, you’ll definitely want to take Disc Room for a spin.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Uppers
Oct 21, 2020

In my opinion, UPPERS was not worth the four-year wait and lengthy localization process. As a beat-‘em-up, it lacks creativity and variety, although it may succeed somewhat as a fanservice game, even if none of the characters have any significant degree of depth.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Lucifer Within Us
Oct 20, 2020

Lucifer Within Us is a must-have for any fan of the detective genre. Adding a perfect mechanic like the timelines feature should be rewarded not only with player support but developer attention — I’d like to see this continued in future titles. Although Lucifer Within Us is short, it’s tight, the richness of the world offering an intoxicating taste that has me hooked.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Airplane Mode
Oct 18, 2020

I genuinely loved Airplane Mode and think it’s an art piece worth playing, and as long as you really love flying and have two to five consecutive hours to spare, it may be your complimentary cup of soda water.

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3 / 5.0 - Space Crew
Oct 17, 2020

I’m sure Space Crew will be enjoyable for plenty of people out there, but I spent too much of my time either frustrated with complicated controls or bored by monotonous missions. Space Crew works, but not on the Switch. If you’re still interested in saving humanity from the Phasmids, give it a go on your PC instead.

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Oct 16, 2020

Aquanox Deep Descent is a very welcome return for an underrated series. In this era of modern re-imaginings, this game delivers in introducing Aquanox’s world to a new generation of players. The movement may be slightly cumbersome and things may get a bit hard, but it always manages to be engaging and fun. The world and story, combined with the solid multiplayer elements for both PvP and co-op, make this a well-rounded experience and essential purchase for fans of six degrees of freedom-type shooting games.

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3.5 / 5.0 - The Survivalists
Oct 15, 2020

In an industry that has shifted from being “kid-friendly” to “adult-focused,” it’s imperative to remember that some games simply won’t work for the more aged gamers (30 is aged, right?). That’s not to say The Survivalists won’t resonate with adults — if this is your cup of banana smoothie, by all means — but it seems to be trying to speak with a younger audience. If you’re lamenting that school has started and you can’t devote as many hours to Minecraft with friends as you’d like, you’re probably going to love The Survivalists. Either that, or I’m a monkey’s uncle.

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The fact that it’s less than half the cost of the actual board game, has numerous UI and QoL improvements, and more importantly, includes a very fun campaign, makes this game a must-buy for any Game of Thrones gamers or fans. Excellent all-around.

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Oct 11, 2020

M2 and Sega have done a bang-up job of refining this classic for the SEGA AGES line, and though this is apparently the final release in the series, I think it is a great game to end on. If you have a Genesis and a Switch but aren’t too keen on spending 90 USD or more on a copy, I’d consider this release. If you have a 16-bit RTS itch that needs to be scratched, you will be very satisfied with Herzog Zwei.

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