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Hey Poor Player

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1633 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
60.1% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

Episode 3 doesn’t fail at what it’s trying to do, but what it’s trying to do is starting to get a little dull.

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Aug 28, 2017

Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder may not rock your world, but it promises a memorable place in history as one of the weirdest games you’ll play this year.

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4 / 5.0 - Severed
Aug 27, 2017

Severed is a viciously fun action game, with clever dungeons and awesome combat.

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Aug 27, 2017

Dead Purge: Outbreak won’t win any awards for originality or technical genius, but there’s a fun time to be had here if grinding against hordes of enemies is your thing.

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3.5 / 5.0 - LawBreakers
Aug 23, 2017

LawBreakers is good. But it doesn’t feel polished to the level that frequent online shooter players have come to expect. It’s character design philosophy is often at odds with the design of its levels and game modes, and while that doesn’t completely bite away at the fun, it does do damage to what is otherwise a technically well-conceived package.

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Aug 15, 2017

Agents of Mayhem has it’s lumps to be sure, but fans of the genre who can look past these issues will find a densely-packed sandbox title that revels in its absurdity. You just might want to wait until Volition irons out those kinks with a patch or two before plunking down your hard-earned cash.

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5 / 5.0 - Pyre
Aug 5, 2017

Pyre’s storytelling, fantasy-sports action RPG combat, grand sense of journeymanship and exquisite soundtrack all harmonize into a classical fable of a game that begs replays upon completion. I saved the Moonstruck girl with no name first of all, and saw the effect her absence left on each and every exile thereafter. Next time through, she’s going to stick around until the bitter end. Pyre is a thousand-stranded story. It ends in essentially the same place no matter what, but it hits the mark a lot of choice-based games miss. It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey.

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4 / 5.0 - Splatoon 2
Jul 31, 2017

Nintendo managed to rebalance the game without having to make any changes to main weapons that would trip up veteran players of the first game. Stages are similarly tweaked, often a bit more close-quarters before. In service of one of my biggest letdowns from the first game, Splatoon 2‘s single-player mechanics even show up in some multiplayer maps.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Aven Colony
Jul 26, 2017

Watching resources flourish, trades get made between the colony and those in space, and winters get survived through is all satisfying. But it’s satisfying in the way that a 10-hour work day is. It’s satisfying; because you feel like you’ve accomplished something, but not because you’ve actually enjoyed the journey there. You’re satisfied because it’s over, more than anything.

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4 / 5.0 - Antihero
Jul 19, 2017

Luckily, as the real answer to that classic Killers song is that we are both humans AND dancers, it’s still possible for something to be really unique while not feeling unnatural. In comes Antihero, a stealthy tactics game all about being a thief in Victorian England. You start up a guild of rogues, dispatch urchins to do your dirty work, and work to tear down the aristocracy from the ground up. It’s one part board game, one part brainwork, one part RPG and all parts viciously fun.

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2.5 / 5.0 - AereA
Jul 17, 2017

Maybe a bit closer to home, it’s the game equivalent of getting one of those acoustic guitars that’s all plastic on the back. It’s serviceable for giving your hands something to do, but try to take that thing on a gig and you’re just going to get laughed at.

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If you’ve already played the game when it released on the Vita, it’s hard to call this spiffed-up console port a must-buy. Apart from the visual bells and whistles, there simply isn’t a whole lot of new stuff going on here. However, if you missed out on the adventure the first time around, Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls is an excellent addition to the PlayStation 4 library that no fan of the series should be without.

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Jun 27, 2017

Valkyria Revolution is far from perfect. However, its gripping story, gorgeous soundtrack, and wealth of addicting customization options go a long way towards making what would otherwise be a rather ho-hum action game a bit more memorable.

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3 / 5.0 - The Golf Club 2
Jun 27, 2017

If you’re excited enough by virtual golf that all you want is a nigh-infinite sandbox to play it in, then The Golf Club 2 is the game for you.

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Jun 27, 2017

If you're a fan of Kunio you've probably already made up your mind on getting River City: Knights of Justice. I can honestly say that any fan of the series will be more than happy with what Arc System Works and Natsume has created. They took a huge risk by changing River City's setting and placing it in a medieval time period, but it totally paid off and it works beautifully! I can't wait to see what they do next!

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Jun 23, 2017

Look, guys, I’m trying to come up with something bad to say in the name of “objectivity,” but Serious Sam’s Bogus Detour (of all things) is as close as I’ve ever played to a flawless game.

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I am continuously impressed by the personal emotional depths TellTale is willing to dive into with each character. I would argue that this is Rocket’s episode more than anyone’s. He gets a lengthy flashback sequence, which invested me as far into his character as two films managed to do, if not more. Drax and Gamora also show the first seeds of major character arcs that I’m hopeful to see in future episodes.

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Jun 7, 2017

Listening to Renee’s story has all the intrigue and depth of a slab of concrete where an in-ground pool used to be. The engine seems to be tearing itself apart at the seams. It’s shoddy enough to throw me into a completely different version of an event, all without ever explaining what the differences mean.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Tekken 7
Jun 7, 2017

If you’re a die-hard fan of the series, adding this gem to your collection is a no-brainer. If you’re a newcomer in search of some hot and heavy bare-knuckle action, there’s no better time to join the fight.

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Jun 7, 2017

They say war is hell, but Rising Storm 2: Vietnam manages to make it something you’ll want to experience again and again.

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