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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

4.5 / 5.0 - Diablo IV
Jun 8, 2023

While its always-online nature can occasionally result in headaches, Diablo IV ultimately delivers exactly what fans of the franchise deserve: a meticulously crafted action RPG that’s great alone and even better with friends. With a sprawling world to immerse yourself in and near-limitless room for experimentation, thanks to its excellent progression system, Diablo IV is a worthy successor to Diablo III that shouldn’t be missed — and these are just the early days! I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

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Jun 8, 2023

Raiden III x MIKADO MANIAX is ultimately a good if unspectacular rerelease of a nearly 20-year-old game, but it’s really only for die-hard fans of the genre. At the end of the day, this was only ever a solid entry in the series, and nothing here has changed that. The new music is nice, but not enough to justify the game’s cost. This is the sort of game that would be best reissued as part of a Raiden collection instead of being released on its own.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Bleak Sword DX
Jun 8, 2023

Bleak Sword DX is an absolute treat that takes the core pillars of the soulslike genre and distills them into a wonderfully moreish, action-packed adventure. The narrow focus, coupled with the unforgiving nature of the gameplay and progression loops, may put some off, but not every game has to be for everyone, and I commend the developers for sticking with the vision they clearly had. If, like me, you love soulslikes, but have found yourself feeling slightly alienated due to the scope that some of the genre’s heavy hitters bring, then I urge you to check out Bleak Sword DX and let it get its pixelated hooks into you.

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Jun 7, 2023

System Shock is unapologetically old-school, keeping the core of a nearly thirty-year-old game while mainly focusing on visual and presentation upgrades with a few quality-of-life additions around the edges. While combat may not be the most exciting, exploring the maze of Citadel Station is still a fascinating time, and it’s nice to have a game get out of the way and let me put things together for myself. Some modern players may bounce off of System Shock due to its design, but those who stick with it will appreciate why it’s been so influential over the last few decades.

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Jun 6, 2023

Super Mega Baseball 4 is mostly more of the same, but when we’re talking about such a strong series, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The excellent core gameplay here is as great as ever, and the fantastic new Shuffle Draft mode combined with a ton of baseball legends to take on the field should grab the attention of both new players and existing fans of the series. If you’re happy with one of the past games in the series, Super Mega Baseball 4 may not be a must-have upgrade, but it’s definitely the best baseball game on the market.

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Jun 5, 2023

Amnesia: The Bunker is purist survival horror at its best with a thoughtful take on the genre and mind-shredding scares. Even the most hardened gamer will feel their pulse racing as they are stalked through the underground hell, feeling a desperation to see daylight. The challenge is not just mastering your environment but mastering your own fear of the evils that lurk in the darkness.

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Monster Menu: The Scavenger’s Cookbook feels more like a first try on NIS’ part than anything else—a fun first try, but a first try nonetheless. I legitimately enjoyed my time learning the ins and outs of the game and, as a fan of roguelikes and RPGs alike, didn’t mind having the game repeatedly stomp me into the ground. With that being said, however, I’d definitely call this one niche, and I’m not sure that everyone will find its flavor quite as appealing as I did.

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2.5 / 5.0 - After Us
Jun 5, 2023

There are beautiful moments in After Us worth seeing, but they’re buried in poorly directed levels featuring merely adequate gameplay. There’s not enough to consistently grab onto here to really hook most players. After Us has a lot in common with Piccolo Studios’ last narrative platformer but ultimately doesn’t offer the charm or consistently moving story that made that game so memorable.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Planet of Lana
Jun 4, 2023

At times, it feels like Planet of Lana tragically works to oppose itself. For every bit of exquisite scenery and artistic richness, there’s gameplay that’s overly familiar, rote and unappealing. It’s a shame that such a stylistically spellbinding game is compromised by its dearth of exciting gameplay ideas. Planet of Lana is by no means a shoddy game. It’s actually pretty good thanks to a cocktail of challenging puzzles and pinpoint platforming. However, its lack of innovation, as well as its myriad of little kinks, stop it from becoming a true exemplar of the genre. For all Planet of Lana is, it really could’ve and really should’ve been so much more.

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1.5 / 5.0 - Sunshine Shuffle
May 31, 2023

If you like poker or visual novels that don’t give you much choice in how the story plays out, then this would be a great game for you to pick up for $9.99. If you want to take the plunge, you can find it on Steam, Itch.io, and soon on Switch. For me, however, I’m going to fold on this game.

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4 / 5.0 - Showgunners
May 31, 2023

Showgunners is a violent delight that leans into its setting and premise to great effect. It may not be the deepest tactical RPG out there, which, in turn, removes a lot of the replayability that the genre is known for, but as a 12-15 hour experience that puts spectacle and accessible systems first, it’s a hell of a good time. You could argue that by removing a lot of the class versatility and research systems that genre veterans appreciate, it’s narrowing its appeal somewhat, and I myself don’t see myself ever going back for a repeat playthrough. However, it’s just as easy to argue that by carving its own path and not sticking religiously to genre conventions, Showgunners is opening the door to a whole new world of players looking for something less intimidating as a gateway into the tactical RPG space. It might not have enough meat on the bone to become your next obsession, but if you want to see meat carved from the bone in tactical bloodbaths, Showgunners is absolutely worth experiencing.

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May 31, 2023

With its interesting premise that blends time-looping mechanics and extensive relationship-building into Persona’s familiar formula, I went into Loop8: Summer of Gods expecting a summer to remember. It’s just a shame that none of these elements come together as cohesively as they could have, making for an uneven experience. With repetitive dialogue choices that feel mostly weightless, a quirky combat system, dungeon-crawling that comes across as tacked-on, and a severe lack of variety, don’t go canceling your summer plans for this one.

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May 30, 2023

Capcom may have made significant mistakes in the development of Street Fighter V, but it’s clear they were determined not to repeat them with Street Fighter 6. I can’t remember the last time a fighting game offered such a complete package, with something for every type of player. Combine that with best-in-class mechanics and a visual identity that truly sets it apart, and Street Fighter 6 is everything fighting game fans have been dreaming of. There’s no need to put your quarter on the machine to save your spot anymore. With Street Fighter 6, we can all have next.

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May 30, 2023

Utterly shambolic in almost every way, The Lord of the Rings: Gollum is an abject failure as a stealth and traversal game, continuously tripping over itself with technical incompetence to such an extent it’s virtually impossible to recommend. Featuring monotonous climbing and sneaking mechanics, cheap deaths from heights akin to a paddling pool, a boring structure, plain and uninteresting characters, a host of technical blemishes, mostly-poor visuals, a woodpecker-quality soundtrack, and an overall dismal and trying experience, The Lord of the Rings: Gollum is absolutely atrocious. Much like its protagonist, it’s a cursed product that should be cast into the smoldering fires of Mount Doom.

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May 28, 2023

Honestly, I had no idea what to expect from Pulling No Punches. I’ve played a lot of beat ’em ups, and in recent years very few have made an impression. But this one absolutely did. While the game’s themes and the narrative’s brash nature may offend some, I find the game a breath of fresh air. It combines a unique visual style with dynamic combat, amazing bosses, and plenty of reasons to keep playing, especially with a group of friends. If this is the first project from BrainDead Broccoli, I’m eager to see what their encore presentation might be.

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3 / 5.0 - Fitness Circuit
May 28, 2023

For what it offers, Fitness Circuit is a nice entry to the list of games on Nintendo Switch featuring an exercise niche. Workouts are as relaxed or as energetic as you want them to be, and the sessions are ideal for short daily bursts of play, intended for those who find themselves incurred with busy schedules. Unfortunately, there isn’t much here to keep you invested in the long run, the lack of incentives to actively engage you are threadbare, and there isn’t the substance necessary to keep you hooked for long. You might like Fitness Circuit as a reliable exercise companion for a little while, but before long, it’ll run out of steam, and you’ll revert to a more substantial package.

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May 26, 2023

There’s little to complain about in Ash of Gods: The Way. While the difficulty can, at times, be frustrating, it increases at a reasonable rate and sometimes the problem is more trying to get through a match too quickly rather than thinking strategically. Really, my biggest complaint with the game is that the enemy all too frequently has an unfair advantage, which, while it typically skews things in their favor, it also seems at odds with the narrative, that these games are used to determine who’s who. Shouldn’t they be even matches? But I digress. Overall, Ash of Gods: The Way is an extremely enjoyable entry into an extremely crowded field, and that holds true whether you view it more as a deckbuilder or as a tactical/strategy game. Gameplay, on the whole, is engaging, challenging, and addicting, the story is fairly deep and does a good job of driving gameplay forward, and the promise of multiple endings is a strong draw for repeated playthroughs.

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May 26, 2023

Supraland: Six Inches Under skillfully dodges the “more of the same” problem, introducing a generous amount of fan-favorite tools and mechanisms while also offering a couple more additions that spice up the deep, cavernous dives you’ll be working your way through. The biomes are still as colorful and varied as the base game, and if you’re eager for more of Supraland’s toy-sized world, you’ll get that and then some, all wrapped up in about 8 to 12 hours of solid, fun gameplay that plays exactly like it’s advertised. Goes to show you don’t have to reinvent the wheel; just find new places where that wheel rolls. Just keep an eye out if the save system seems like it’s on the fritz, and do mind the cursor-based menu navigation. After all, it wouldn’t be a proper spelunking journey without a few hang-ups.

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May 25, 2023

Given that the bizarre, dreamlike world of Ghostpia Season 1 already took me to the halfway point, I’ll admit that I’m morbidly curious to see how things end. However, given how quickly things went from sweet to sour, I don’t think that I’d be too upset if that didn’t happen, either. Ghostpia Season 1 undeniably has some of the best visuals of any visual novel that I’ve seen in years, and its dreamy soundtrack compliments it wonderfully. Unfortunately, its strange choice of protagonists, tendency to focus on (seemingly) unimportant details, and habit of changing tone too quickly make it hard to digest all that easily.

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May 25, 2023

It may have taken more than three decades for Cannon Dancer to make its way to our living rooms, but it was totally worth the wait. If you’re a fan of Capcom’s Strider or classic 90s arcade games in general – especially ones with a meaty challenge – then you owe it to yourself to check it out.

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