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Hey Poor Player

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1788 games reviewed
74.2 average score
80 median score
62.0% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

3 / 5.0 - Fitness Circuit
May 28, 2023

For what it offers, Fitness Circuit is a nice entry to the list of games on Nintendo Switch featuring an exercise niche. Workouts are as relaxed or as energetic as you want them to be, and the sessions are ideal for short daily bursts of play, intended for those who find themselves incurred with busy schedules. Unfortunately, there isn’t much here to keep you invested in the long run, the lack of incentives to actively engage you are threadbare, and there isn’t the substance necessary to keep you hooked for long. You might like Fitness Circuit as a reliable exercise companion for a little while, but before long, it’ll run out of steam, and you’ll revert to a more substantial package.

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May 26, 2023

There’s little to complain about in Ash of Gods: The Way. While the difficulty can, at times, be frustrating, it increases at a reasonable rate and sometimes the problem is more trying to get through a match too quickly rather than thinking strategically. Really, my biggest complaint with the game is that the enemy all too frequently has an unfair advantage, which, while it typically skews things in their favor, it also seems at odds with the narrative, that these games are used to determine who’s who. Shouldn’t they be even matches? But I digress. Overall, Ash of Gods: The Way is an extremely enjoyable entry into an extremely crowded field, and that holds true whether you view it more as a deckbuilder or as a tactical/strategy game. Gameplay, on the whole, is engaging, challenging, and addicting, the story is fairly deep and does a good job of driving gameplay forward, and the promise of multiple endings is a strong draw for repeated playthroughs.

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May 26, 2023

Supraland: Six Inches Under skillfully dodges the “more of the same” problem, introducing a generous amount of fan-favorite tools and mechanisms while also offering a couple more additions that spice up the deep, cavernous dives you’ll be working your way through. The biomes are still as colorful and varied as the base game, and if you’re eager for more of Supraland’s toy-sized world, you’ll get that and then some, all wrapped up in about 8 to 12 hours of solid, fun gameplay that plays exactly like it’s advertised. Goes to show you don’t have to reinvent the wheel; just find new places where that wheel rolls. Just keep an eye out if the save system seems like it’s on the fritz, and do mind the cursor-based menu navigation. After all, it wouldn’t be a proper spelunking journey without a few hang-ups.

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May 25, 2023

Given that the bizarre, dreamlike world of Ghostpia Season 1 already took me to the halfway point, I’ll admit that I’m morbidly curious to see how things end. However, given how quickly things went from sweet to sour, I don’t think that I’d be too upset if that didn’t happen, either. Ghostpia Season 1 undeniably has some of the best visuals of any visual novel that I’ve seen in years, and its dreamy soundtrack compliments it wonderfully. Unfortunately, its strange choice of protagonists, tendency to focus on (seemingly) unimportant details, and habit of changing tone too quickly make it hard to digest all that easily.

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May 25, 2023

It may have taken more than three decades for Cannon Dancer to make its way to our living rooms, but it was totally worth the wait. If you’re a fan of Capcom’s Strider or classic 90s arcade games in general – especially ones with a meaty challenge – then you owe it to yourself to check it out.

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4 / 5.0 - Bat Boy
May 25, 2023

If you had told me one of my favorite retro adventures in a long time would be sports-themed, I would have called you a filthy liar. But it’s true that Bat Boy is one of the best games I’ve played in a long time. Though the adventure is relatively short, with only one ending, and can feel occasionally overwhelming, it’s also well-crafted and fun. I spent a good 7 hours with the game, though you can probably beat it in less if you don’t replay stages or go for completion. It’s not a perfect experience, but it’s a worthy one, and I hope this isn’t the last adventure for Ryosuke and his merry band of athletes.

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3 / 5.0 - Strayed Lights
May 23, 2023

With its unique twist on combat and a great sense of style, I went into Strayed Lights with high hopes. However, while its presentation and challenging parry-centric boss battles certainly shine brightly, its largely nonexistent story, a lack of enemy variety, and frequent crashes caused that light to fade well before the conclusion of its four-hour runtime. If you’re simply looking for a novel take on the action-adventure genre, maybe pick this one up once it goes on sale. For anyone else, Strayed Lights is tough to recommend.

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May 21, 2023

Homestead Arcana is a welcome addition to the cozy gaming space. A complete lack of combat, interesting magical farming techniques, and rewarding yet tense exploration that focuses on using spells to outwit your opponents rather than destroy, all contribute to an experience that manages to elevate itself and stand out. It may lack the engaging side content that ultimately keeps many around games such as this once the critical path is completed, not every game needs to be a time-devouring behemoth, and some may actually appreciate the breezier experience that Homestead Arcana presents. If you’re looking for a distraction from the genre’s heavy hitters, then the adventures of Billie and Huckleberry are well worth experiencing.

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May 20, 2023

So once again, I’ve tried another deckbuilder, only to come out disappointed. Three Kingdom: The Journey isn’t a terrible game, and there’s kernels of greatness that could grow into something much better. That will just depend on Senmu Studio putting in the time to fix the translation and tweak the game balance. Until that happens, this is just one of many frustrating deckbuilder experiences.

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May 19, 2023

Put simply, Cyber Citizen Shockman is a peculiarity of a retro game. Though I appreciate it being brought to new audiences some 30 years later, I can’t say it holds up very well. My hope is that the series grew over time and got much improved, since I know Ratalaika is bringing other games from the franchise to the West. But if you’re looking for an amazing retro experience, you’ll probably be disappointed with it.

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May 19, 2023

Volcano Princess is definitely one of the more addictingly fun games I’ve played in recent memory. It has that same “one more turn” kind of feel that got me hooked on the likes of Civilization and other strategy games of its caliber. Although I wish there had been more effort put into the English localization because the story deserves to shine as much as the rest of the game, the clunky translation didn’t stop me from pouring 40+ hours into it. If you’re looking for a very sweet but surprisingly deep (and absolutely addicting) experience, Volcano Princess could use your careful guidance to reach its full potential.

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4 / 5.0 - LEGO 2K Drive
May 19, 2023

Sometimes, as a gamer, you long for a game that you can just let your hair down with. That inner child wants to get some fresh air from time to time, and LEGO 2K Drive is there for just that. Not everyone will be here for the numerous puns and hammy dialogue, but I think anyone picking this up won’t be disappointed in the classic fun of screwing around with a vat of LEGOs. While the vehicle editor has a bit of a spazzy camera and seems to be missing a couple of parts, it’s still so robust when it comes to bringing those childhood fantasies of racing your custom LEGO car to life that it can be easily forgiven. It’s just a shame the same can’t be said about the egregious microtransactions that are about as painful as stepping on a LEGO. Still, if you have a taste for arcade racers and a love for LEGO, or are maybe looking for a good first racing game for the kids, you can’t do any wrong taking a pit stop at LEGO 2K Drive.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Magical Drop VI
May 16, 2023

The Path of Destiny mode may not have been much of a hit for me, but everything else available here is more than enough for a Magical Droppin’ good time – keeping this franchise within my pantheon of favorite puzzlers. If the price seems too steep at the offset, then there’s no shame in waiting for a sale or until more of the free DLC drops to see if it adds value to the purchase for you. But if money is no object, then get on this bad boy and start having some fun! Just get some backup controllers on standby because these bad boys are going to take a serious pounding!

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May 13, 2023

With a chunky new campaign that presents a significant spike in difficulty, and a whole new endgame to grind out, along with a plethora of new optional quests, new gear to craft, and a new wave of best-in-class monsters to hunt, Sunbreak might not present much in the way of surprises, but it’s a terrific addition to an already fantastic game that continues Capcom’s trend of complimenting the series base experiences with stellar expansions. For new players, the more logical difficulty curve that Sunbreak presents, with a meaningful endgame challenge now correct and present, means there has never been a better time to jump into Monster Hunter Rise. Similarly, for lapsed players who were eventually put off by how trivial things had become, Sunbreak provides the perfect excuse to jump back in. Whatever angle you’re approaching Sunbreak from, sharpen those blades – you’re going to need them.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Darkest Dungeon II
May 13, 2023

That’s actually a frequent issue with Darkest Dungeon II. I admire that the team at Red Hook Studios took a real swing here, trying new paths forward for the series instead of just tinkering around the edges and making an iterative sequel. The issue is that most of the game’s strengths are still the parts that came from the first game, with most of what’s new feeling fine but also like downgrades to what they’ve replaced. It leaves Darkest Dungeon II in a strange place where, on its own merits, it’s an interesting and well-made game that doesn’t quite live up to the example set by its predecessor.

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Horizon Forbidden West: Burning Shores may be more Horizon, but if that’s what you’re looking for, then you’ll be very happy with this new content. With an excellent story, interesting new characters, awesome new weapons, and enemies, as well as some of the most exciting sequences in the entire game, Burning Shores makes Forbidden West an even stronger experience than it already was.

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4 / 5.0 - Live A Live
May 8, 2023

If you’ve been salivating for a new old-school RPG on modern consoles, Live A Live is a proper treat. The selection of stories you play are lovely and varied, the beautifully upscaled look of the game brings details to vibrant new life, and there is a lot of retro arcadey goodness in here to bask in. Furthermore, the shortness of each individual story makes each of them easy to play without feeling overloaded or that you’re missing something. Live A Live can get tricky, its grid-based battle system is a little passe, and it isn’t the most awe-inspiring remake you ever saw, but it’s a lovingly crafted revitalization that will please anybody with a fondness for old-school JRPGs.

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While it’s true that Bend the Roo’les is a pretty affordable experience and one that’s easier to recommend, it still has its share of problems, both in terms of glitches and bugs, but also in terms of unbalanced game design. But if you still want to take your chances and spend more time in the Kao the Kangaroo universe, you might still find some limited enjoyment here.

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3 / 5.0 - ArcRunner
May 5, 2023

Even though the game’s balancing and AI issues try their best to spoil the fun, ArcRunner still manages to deliver a satisfying cyberpunk roguelike experience. Despite its shortcomings—and they are plentiful— it can feel great to give into the temptation to jam to some synthwave and gun down some nameless bots for a few hours. It’s just a shame that, apart from the killer aesthetics, there isn’t much to compel players to return to its neon-saturated streets once they’ve finished their initial playthrough. That said, if you’re looking for an in-depth approach to the familiar roguelike formula, you might want to look elswhere. Which is a shame, since ArcRunner offers a fairly decent gameplay loop along with a striking cyberpunk playground to go with it. If you’re looking to soothe that very specific aesthetic itch ArcRunner scratches, by all means, go for it and indulge in the wavey synths and rain-slicked streets. Just know that your mileage may vary.

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May 4, 2023

Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp offers two excellent strategy titles which will keep players busy for a ton of hours. Whether you’re an old fan happy to be back in command or someone enlisting for the first time, there’s a lot to recommend here. A bit more work updating things, particularly the balance of the latter half of the first game and the multiplayer experience, would have been welcome but that shouldn’t stop those wanting an excellent strategy experience from picking this one up.

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