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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

3 / 5.0 - NBA 2K23
Dec 22, 2022

Perhaps it’s time I stopped rewarding 2K every year for simply putting out another game. While I still have fun with the same modes I’ve been playing for twenty years, I don’t need a new version of this game to do so, and neither do you. The core gameplay is still very good, albeit stuck several years in the past, but everything around it is awful. The modes I still enjoy feel like they’re buried further in the menus every year. It feels like the only way to enjoy NBA 2K23 in a nonexploitive way is to avoid all the parts of it that its creators want you to play. I don’t see this strange dynamic ending soon, so players will continue to have to decide if being the only basketball game around is enough reason to pick it up each year.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Goodbye World
Dec 21, 2022

Goodbye World is an important game development story for gamers and developers alike. It has interesting characters, fantastic art design, and pacing that kept me engrossed in the narrative from start to finish. Unfortunately, its game within a game will polarize players, who will either love its retro-inspired platforming or loathe its stop-go positioning within the story. Goodbye World is a must-play experience for the story alone, so if you find yourself with an hour or two to kill and $12 to spare, Goodbye World says “hi!”

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Dec 17, 2022

The Plague Doctor of Wippra is clearly a bleak, gamified examination of a dark period in human history; what makes it bleaker is its illumination on just how little has changed. Despite our modern comforts and conveniences, human behavior under duress seems to remain constant. And in the midst of all these cascading, convoluted moving parts, The Plague Doctor of Wippra asks players to think carefully of their choices, knowing that sometimes, the best of two evils is the best one can do. If you’re seeking a short-lived point-and-click journey through time where the choices really, really matter, The Plague Doctor of Wippra is accepting patients.

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Dec 15, 2022

Despite presentation that leaves something to be desired, Marvel’s Midnight Suns packs a ton of interesting strategy into its adventure, and smart writing around the edges helps to offset a main story that feels quite generic. Midnight Suns might be a flawed game in some ways, but I also couldn’t put it down, and it’s the rare game that made me truly want to run around collecting everything. Anyone who loves strategy games or Marvel should absolutely check it out.

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Dec 13, 2022

River City Girls 2 does a lot right. With fantastic presentation, an incredibly exciting soundtrack, and tons of creativity and variety, all of the elements are here for a classic beat ‘em up. Poor performance, though, really brings the experience down, being an almost constant thorn in your side. It’s by no means unplayable, and I still had a fair amount of fun along the way, but this feels like a game that wasn’t ready to release yet. Hopefully, after a few patches, we’ll be talking about it being the great game it could be, but for now, know what you’re getting yourself into.

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Dec 12, 2022

Even though This Way Madness Lies doesn’t break the mold of other titles by Zeboyd Games, I still very much enjoyed it. It’s a well-paced, classically-styled RPG with great music, attractive artwork, and hilarious storytelling. If you’re in the mood for a short but sweet RPG and don’t mind playing on PC, I’d absolutely check this out.

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Dec 10, 2022

The Excavation of Hob’s Barrow was a pleasant surprise for me — a fantastic game in its own right, but one whose story doesn’t deserve to end here. I absolutely need a book, film, or TV adaptation of this story, and the great thing is you wouldn’t have to change much for it to be ready for consumption in other media. Although I did find myself struggling to make sense of the ending, I suspect a second playthrough is all I’d need to clear up any questions I still have. The Excavation of Hob’s Barrow is truly a pixel art masterpiece — one that definitely deserves a deep dig.

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Dec 9, 2022

If you enjoyed Fatshark’s previous projects on Vermintide and its sequel, or you’re just an overall Warhammer 40K fan, then you will feel right at home with Darktide. As long as you can dig past the rough state the game is in right now with unfinished content and performance issues, then there’s truly an addictive and satisfying cooperative horde shooter lying underneath all those corpses.

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Dec 8, 2022

The Forest Quartet will get you into the swing of things. While I do wish The Forest Quartet would’ve pushed itself just a bit farther in the gameplay department, and the whole experience winds up on the criminally short side, it doesn’t fail to impress with what is there. With likeable and interesting characters, a soft but smooth graphical design, and a superbly soulful soundtrack, this is a short but sweet tale well worth saving for that rainy afternoon when you need a little comfort game.

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Dec 8, 2022

Despite some strange choices around online play and a story that failed to grab my interest, however, I had a great time with The Rumble Fish 2. It’s easy to pick up and play with fast-paced fights that are exactly what I look for in a fighting game. With interesting mechanics and a varied cast of interesting fighters, fans of the genre should absolutely give this throwback a shot.

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Dec 8, 2022

Front Mission 1st: Remake often feels old but that’s no huge surprise. It is after all an old game. It released nearly 28 years ago. That it still mostly holds up as an excellent strategy RPG with an excellent story, interesting customization, and strategic combat, is impressive. While it may fall a bit short of what we’d hope for in a true remake, it remains a strong game worth the time of fans of the genre.

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Square Enix and Tose have done a phenomenal job bringing Zack’s origin story to life again after being buried away for so long. Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Reunion is everything fans want and expect it to be, with rehauled graphics, improved gameplay mechanics, a new arranged soundtrack, and fully voiced dialogue. If you somehow missed your chance to play this back on the PlayStation Portable back in 2007, then this is the definitive way to experience one of the best prequel stories. It feels like a nostalgic dream to be able to step into the shoes of Zack Fair once again, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Kukoos: Lost Pets
Dec 6, 2022

Despite a few easily fixable issues that I foresee being patched in the near future, Kukoos: Lost Pets is an adorable little 3D platformer that will easily entertain young and old alike. I could see this being a family favorite, with parents and kids each grabbing a controller to cooperatively save every last pet, pluck every last fwendly plant, and beat every last boss together. Kukoos: Lost Pets may look simple, but its puzzle elements provide some perplexing moments that’ll satisfy veterans for a weekend and newcomers for much, much longer. If you’re looking for something that’s cute on the surface but a little more complex in its core, the island of Kukoos: Lost Pets beckons.

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3 / 5.0 - RWBY: Arrowfell
Dec 3, 2022

RWBY: Arrowfell is the definition of a mixed bag. Rewarding and fast-paced exploration does provide some satisfaction, but the combat, which makes up the majority of the game, fails to impress through the awkward way in which character progression has been implemented. If you’re willing to overlook that, then RWBY: Arrowfell serves as a perfectly fine distraction that I feel does just enough right with its narrative, presentation, and exploration to make it worth a look for action platformer fans.

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Dec 2, 2022

While playing EDENGATE: The Edge of Life has plenty of issues, I still enjoyed my couple of hours with it. Mia is an interesting protagonist, the atmosphere is strong, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome. This is a case where a game being short plays to its advantage. Considering the game’s low price, I’d recommend anyone interested in it give it a try.

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Dec 2, 2022

Like the older but wiser cast of characters, the puzzling gameplay has matured, taxing your wits, but not your patience, never leaving you so bogged down with frustration that you can’t enjoy the comedy. Some gaming franchises age like milk, some age like wine, but Return to Monkey Island has aged like the finest bottle o’ rum.

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Nov 30, 2022

At times the story of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo can be interesting, but it never fully comes together. Succeeding neither as an homage to a great director’s work or on its own terms, it might be better served if it didn’t have the expectations its name provides, but that wouldn’t make it a great game. There are simply better adventure games more worth your time available this year.

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3 / 5.0 - Sonic Frontiers
Nov 29, 2022

A lot of Sonic Frontiers is still a mess, actually, and Sonic himself still doesn’t feel great. Those two things alone will keep a lot of players away, and I can’t blame them. Still, there’s something about Frontiers that no recent Sonic game can match. It’s ambitious, and its core gameplay loop actually works. It’s downright engaging. I spent a lot of my time with Sonic Frontiers having a ton of fun, even if there were just as many moments where I was frustrated and ready to be done with it. This isn’t a great game, but it’s one that should satisfy Sonic fans desperate for an interesting game starring their favorite blue blur, and for the first time in a long time, it feels like the series may have a sense of direction. There’s still work to be done to make it more than that, but this is a big step in the right direction.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Heidelberg 1693
Nov 29, 2022

If this review came across as negative, it’s not because Heidelberg 1693 is a total bust. Any negativity largely comes from a place of frustration at how close it gets to greatness at times. It is absolutely still worth playing for fans of action platformers and all things macabre, who will delight in the stellar enemy variety and terrifically disgusting art direction. When it’s firing on all cylinders, the weird and wonderful world of Heidelberg 1693 provides an exhilarating challenge that evokes the glory days of the genre, all punctuated by fantastic and imaginative boss design. If you’re willing to look past the frustrations that present themselves at times in the form of uneven balancing, then Heidelberg 1693 will provide a few hours of horrendous fun that genre fans will lap up.

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It’s without a doubt that Romancing SaGa -Minstrel Song- Remastered comes with very little hand-holding and a steep learning curve that may be off putting in today’s limelight. However, its unique approach to non-linear gameplay and storytelling, in addition to its impeccable art direction and soundtrack, combine to create an exceptional adventure. Akitoshi Kawazu has truly created an unforgettable experience that only the most dedicated and patient players can fully appreciate. Set at a more than reasonable price point and filled to the brim with original and new content, Minstrel Song Remastered is welcoming you with open arms to explore the world of Mardias.

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