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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

4.5 / 5.0 - Lost Ark
Mar 30, 2022

Lost Ark is literally great enough to re-ignite my passion for MMORPGs after 15 years. That’s not a joke, and it’s not something that I’m just saying for the sake of this review. Because of that, I don’t know that I should be reviewing this game so much as I should be thanking it. I’m incredibly happy to have finally found an MMO that I can look forward to playing every day, and, if you’re willing to take my word at all, I think you’ll find that you’ll end up the same way once you sit down with this game for yourself.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Expedition Zero
Mar 30, 2022

Expedition Zero does a solid enough job of creating atmosphere and making the player nervous, but playing it just isn’t fun. The seed of a solid idea is here in the game’s various printers, but they don’t do enough to help overcome the slow and awkward movement. Horror fans may find a few hours of scares, but anyone else should steer well clear of this expedition.

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Mar 30, 2022

I never considered stopping this ride until I’d saved Uncle Marcus. The core mystery here is fascinating and had its hooks in me until the end, while the entertaining cast made me want to go back and see every alternate ending. Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus? doesn’t reinvent much, but its a well-executed FMV title that should satisfy anyone who’s a fan of the genre.

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Mar 27, 2022

Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands is a resounding success and is easily the most fun I’ve had with the series since the release of Borderlands 2. In some respects, I actually think there is a case to be made that this is the best playing game that Gearbox has made, so positive are the changes made to the narrative delivery, class system, and the introduction of the overworld. If you’re a fan of Borderlands, Wonderlands is an extremely easy sell. But, even if you’re a lapsed fan feeling the burn after so many years of Borderlands products, there is so much that is fresh on display that I think you owe yourself a visit to the Wonderlands.

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Mar 25, 2022

It feels a little funny to review .hack//G.U. Last Recode for the Switch. Diehard .hack// fans like myself just needed to be told when and where to buy it with no questions asked, and those who have never dipped their toes into the title (or franchise as a whole) have three current platforms to choose from with a basic understanding of what one can reasonably expect from any of them. To that end, I’d like to close the review on this note: .hack//G.U. Last Recode is worth the money no matter which platform you buy it on, but if you want to support some of the most creative and dedicated developers out there, pick up .hack//G.U. Last Recode on the Switch — don’t let Cyberconnect2’s blood, sweat, and tears go to waste.

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Mar 24, 2022

GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon doesn’t feel like it adds anything new to the side-scrolling roguelike genre; for some, that’s just fine. Not everything needs to be high-octane-melt-your-brain gameplay, right? GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon instead feels like playing a beautifully painted Japanese wall scroll come to life, its colors slowly meandering across the screen as they melt into one graceful bloodpit at the bottom. If you prefer form over function or are just curious about this Eastern franchise finally coming West, GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon is ready to slash up a good time.

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For me, the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Booster Course Pack has been a wonderful reminder of how much I love this game. That on its own makes it well worth the price of admission, especially when it promises to keep giving me reasons to come back for most of the next two years. Hopefully, I’ll see you on the track.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Dark Deity
Mar 23, 2022

Dark Deity is a flawed—but enjoyable—take on the classic Fire Emblem formula. I wish some of its elements weren’t so obtuse and vague, but I still found it impossible to put down. There’s room for a sequel, so hopefully, it won’t be too long before we get a chance to revisit Terrazael.

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4 / 5.0 - Rune Factory 5
Mar 22, 2022

For the most part, Marvelous sowed some pretty good SEEDs (hah, get it?). Obviously, I’m not completely satisfied with everything—the relationship mechanics are essentially a gamble, now, and we’re straight-up chugga-chugga-choo-chooin’ through certain loading zones, but there’s a reason that I played 130 hours of this game. At the end of the day, Rune Factory 5 is a fresh and enjoyable new entry to the series, and I really think that fans will come to love it just as much as they have every other title.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Tunic
Mar 22, 2022

While its difficulty spikes could use a bit more balancing, it does nothing to diminish my love for Tunic. This is a masterfully designed game that challenges you to take elements of classics that have become familiar and apply them in all-new ways. Its triumphant in-game manual gave me more moments of stunning realization than every other game I’ve played in 2022. If you’re a fan of any of the titles that stand as major influences to Tunic, you owe it to yourself to check this one out.

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1.5 / 5.0 - Shredders
Mar 22, 2022

There’s still room for a big snowboarding game in today’s video game landscape, but Shredders isn’t able to fill it. While it looks nice when you’re not moving, issues with performance, controls, mission design, voice acting, story, nearly every aspect of this game is flawed. So value your time and wait for the next title in the genre.

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Mar 21, 2022

Ghostwire: Tokyo ends up being a satisfying experience. With a wonderful world to explore, excellent combat that gets quite deep over time, and an interesting story, there’s a lot to recommend about it. Somehow it also ends up feeling a bit incomplete, though. There was room here for more gameplay variety and to really explore more with some of these characters, and doing so might have turned a good game into a great one. As is, the ending feels like it comes a bit out of nowhere, leaving me to wonder if the team’s original vision was a bit larger. Still, if you’re looking for a creepy game where you strike fear into the creatures that go bump in the night, check out Ghostwire: Tokyo.

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4 / 5.0 - Prose & Codes
Mar 18, 2022

Prose & Codes receives only one complaint from me — 350 puzzles spanning 7 literary genres simply isn’t enough content for such a charming and relaxing game. Call me selfish, but I simply couldn’t get enough of Prose & Codes’ challenges and could easily see myself playing this off and on again for the rest of my life. You don’t need a cipher to decode my stance on this lovely literature game: Prose & Codes unequivocally belongs in every bookworm’s library.

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Mar 18, 2022

Triangle Strategy does almost everything well. It looks great, sounds good, plays great, features an excellent story, and offers enough variance in its multiple paths to provide significant replay value. There’s no one element it gets wrong. Its biggest issue comes in how it puts these various elements together. If you’re okay with long story sequences with the combat taking a bit of a back seat, you’ll love Triangle Strategy. Despite the balance of these various elements feeling a bit off, each element is so well executed that this is still a must-play for fans of the genre.

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Mar 18, 2022

All in all, would I recommend this dip into the ocean blue? Absolutely, but only if you consider what you’re getting into. There’s no denying this game is eye-candy of the sweetest caliber, with rarely any part of the vine-strangled world lacking vividly colored details. That said, you have to go in knowing that this is a perfect example of peaceful gaming, with no death or combat in sight. Exploration is the name of the game here, and it’s best to go into Submerged: Hidden Depths with low tension, an open mind, and a good pair of headphones. Admittedly, it’s on the short side, but if you’re eager to uncover the secret of these decaying cities, you’ll find the perfect game to scratch that urban exploration itch.

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3.5 / 5.0 - The Alien Cube
Mar 18, 2022

All in all, would I recommend squaring up with The Alien Cube? The best way I can describe this game is a very thin slice from an authentic Lovecraftian pie. It doesn’t entirely look the part, but you’ll take a bite and know exactly what you’re sinking your teeth into and probably end up reminded why you love this flavor of horror. From the surreal environments to the indescribable horrors after your blood, it’s the stuff known and loved by the Lovecraft community. Be warned though, that while the flavor tastes the part, The Alien Cube‘s optimization issues and occasionally lacking gameplay can make it tough to swallow. That said, if you can forgive a few missteps and have a hankering for hellish horrors, it’s worth digging into – especially when you consider its asking price.

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3.5 / 5.0 - The Company Man
Mar 15, 2022

At a time when trading sweat pants for slacks in a bid to return to the office is a dreaded drag, The Company Man reminds us exactly of what we hoped to leave back in the “before times.” With that being said, it’s handled in such a clever and fun way that brawling with colleagues becomes almost cathartic. If you’re tired of being a cog in the corporate machine and want to stick it to the man, The Company Man offers that pick-up-and-platforming-play that’ll surely bring joy to your lunch hour.

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4 / 5.0 - Gran Turismo 7
Mar 14, 2022

Gran Turismo 7 provides an excellent entry point to the series for players who are new to it. If the 7 in the title feels intimidating, you can let that go. Once you do, you’ll find a game that plays as well as any racing title on the market. Some strange choices along the way hold it back from racing perfection, but this is still a game that should keep PS5 racing fans busy for a long time.

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Mar 14, 2022

Even with some small issues like a lack of clarity with the Rank system and levels feeling a little repetitive, Dawn of the Monsters is still a ton of fun. There are plenty of goodies to unlock, a two-player mode and a riveting story. If you’re at all a fan of the kaiju genre and are looking for the next great thing, here it is. I honestly think this is the best game to date by 13AM Games, and I can’t wait to see what they have in store next.

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4 / 5.0 - Horace
Mar 10, 2022

All in all, I can’t help but rave about Horace. While it’s challenging and may prove troublesome for those not comfortable with their platforming skills, it nevertheless features a ton of content and an engaging story. And while I was frustrated by some of the glitches and occasionally lackluster design, this is still a game I would highly recommend, especially for fans of older games and indies.

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