Cubed3's Reviews
Playing Back in 1995 does not evoke feelings of nostalgia, it only insults those who loved horror gaming in the '90s.
Poisoft Thud Card goes past the standard for being bad; it becomes anti-entertainment.
There are many games that Past Cure draws from and it's a pale imitation of them all. Less Heavy Rain and more Light Drizzle. Less Evil Within and more Crap Within. The developers were ambitious, but overambitious, and they have delivered an absolute turkey. Completely unenjoyable and comes with very few redeeming features. It's an awful, awful game.
Of all of Cities: Skylines' DLC, Concerts adds the least to the experience. Perhaps the price tag went into audio licensing, but Colossal Order and Paradox should have come up with more content to package with these songs to justify making this a paid DLC. As it stands, barring a huge price cut or sale, or just requiring the full Cities experience, there's no reason to pick up this DLC.
Zombie-shooter Crimson Earth might not be a part of the worst videogames ever made (that honour belongs to the thousands of sex-themed Steam titles), but it's definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel to find its place amongst them, mainly because its developer didn't even bother to complete it.
Cyber Chicken could eventually become a decent shooter, but it needs a lot of work. Badly-tuned boss fights, poor mechanics, and massive game-halting bugs completely obliterate any possibility of deriving enjoyment from this game. The dated jokes are more likely to cause stomach cramps than laughter. Gamers looking for a Metroidvania fix will find nothing but misery here.
Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival can't be recommended. It doesn't even feel barebones; instead, it feels like basic gameplay elements stacked on top of one another. Everything is messy, incomplete and generally broken, and it's hard to tell if it is supposed to be this way, or if everything is just poorly designed. When all is said and done, though, this is just a bad game, and there's no other way to put it.
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom doesn't particularly succeed at anything it puts its hand to. It isn't funny, with its generically off-colour humour and a bad sense of comedic timing. It's not particularly responsive, with stiff controls and awkward level design. It's repetitive, tedious, frustrating, and completely lacking in the elements that make for a good action game, or for a good comedy game. Between its crushing lack of self-awareness and bland gameplay, it's one circus that's even unfit for the sideshow.
Trulon: The Shadow Engine shows some interesting aspects in the combat that would have been much more fun to leave the experience with rather than the broken mess it currently is thanks to the error.
Somewhere in Trulon: The Shadow Engine lies what could be a decent little RPG. The use of cards makes for an interesting spin on tradition. The somewhat bland characters and storyline are balanced out by quaint graphics and pleasant music. However, in its current state, this game is broken. It's far too easy to soft-lock it, or even ruin a save. Progress is constantly at the mercy of increasingly slipshod scripts. Attempting to play an RPG where potentially everything can go wrong is nothing more than an exercise in frustration.
There have been many effortless cash grabs, but none as blatant as this, which is a $60 commercial. Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 is no longer the worst Sonic game, and it is tragic to see the fandom of Sonic be danced upon by such a cynical cash grab that was quickly slapped together by focus testing and lacks any soul at all. 'Buggy' and 'glitchy' are truly the best words to describe this debacle. Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric is the mark of the vulgar and should not be touched.
Don't wait for a bargain bin sale. Don't accept it as a gift. Succubus With Guns is one more trashy "NSFW" game, like the thousands of others that can be found on Steam. It's a boring, repetitive, and sloppily crafted third-person shooter, where players shoot wave after wave of enemies, getting sleepier by the minute. The breast physics are hilarious for like a second.
Sanity of Morris is going to be remembered as one of those kinds of ironic and unintentionally funny video games. While it is not quite Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, the lack of quality control and effort suggests the developers leaned heavily on their concept. The idea of a grounded stealth/horror experience, with adventure-style puzzle-solving is an easy sell to a lot of people. The only problem is that Sanity of Morris does not even try.
There is no reason why anyone would ever play this on any console. Even if it were played on its intended platform, Rip Them Off is barely a game. It is a strategy based, tower-defence where there is no strategy, as it revolves around failing to understand the conditions. No con-artist would ever accept failure, and yet this insists that gamers should learn to enjoy losing.
Juggling sub-par game design with a host of technical issues on the Switch, Gods Will Fall is a painfully disappointing roguelike that plays more like a proof of concept than anything else. Fashioning gameplay around eight distinct playable characters who can all permanently die is certainly interesting and adds an inherent tension to the experience, but stiff controls, laughable enemy AI, and shallow combat do nothing but remind audiences that they can be playing something better. The fact DeepSilver would publish a title so blatantly unready for public consumption - let alone purchase - is frankly baffling. Gods Will Fall is as much a waste of time as it is money.
There are some games out there that are "so-bad-its-good," like most of Swery's games. Outbreak: The New Nightmare is one of those "so-bad-it-gave-me-depression" ones. The developer likely is inexperienced, and working with almost no budget, but not everyone should make a game. The saying "anyone can make a game", means that a good game designer can come from anywhere. All survival-horror fans must stay away from this one.
While promising a cool twist on the platforming genre, Wavey the Rocket proved to be an absolutely miserable experience that is hard to recommend to just about anyone. Complex controls, ungratifying gameplay, and performance issues that significantly affect the gameplay, this simply isn't fun to play. For those looking for a genuinely fun and engaging platformer, this isn't one that's going to hold your attention for very long.
The broad and generic story is the least offensive aspect of Daymare: 1998. The rotten gameplay and ugly presentation that support this roof of mediocrity won't shelter even the most desperate horror fan. There is nothing classic about the gameplay or story; it is every bit as derivative as most of the soulless schlock that modern studios excrete from their focus group testing. There is no attempt at having any guts at trying to make something that is a throw-back, and the best Daymare: 1998 can offer are a few Easter Eggs and obvious nods to the games that inspired it.
Considering how mindless and tailor-fit for mobile audiences the substanceless gameplay loop of Shop Titans is, one has to wonder why Kabam saw fit to pursue a PC release. Of course, the "why" is made painfully clear the moment players hit their first wall. Progression is very blatantly designed around micro-transactions. Anyone who doesn't want to spend a dime will need to contend with a very long grind. Even then, the game actively withholds items and content from players who don't want to spend real money. Worse yet is the monthly subscription service, which Kabam fully expects anyone who wants to play Shop Titans in earnest to purchase. Already aggressively mediocre experience by design, jumping from mobile to PC has done Kabam's shopkeeping "simulator" no favours. Shop Titans is worse than video game junk food; it's slop.
While it's nice to see more and more things get ported to the Switch, there are things that belong on the platform and things that do not. This would be an example of something that does not. A truly tedious experience, after just a few hours. The best thing about The Elder Scrolls: Blades is that it's a fantastic advertisement for playing Skyrim on the Switch.