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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

There’s really no getting around it, dood—Prinny Presents NIS Classics Volume 2 is another smash-hit. Er… I guess it’s more like two smash hits? I don’t know. I’m not here to talk about semantics. Basically, what I’m saying is that they did a good job with picking out these games. Both ZHP and Makai Kingdom were most definitely worthy of receiving another chance in the spotlight, and I’m very happy that that happened. Keep ’em coming, NIS!

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Jun 29, 2022

Despite some strange design choices, Pocky & Rocky Reshrined captures the charm of the original game and still feels great to play all these years later. Added variety makes this the best version of Pocky & Rocky and makes me long for this dynamic duo to be given a truly original title now that they’ve fought their way out of obscurity.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Hero's Hour
Jun 27, 2022

Hero’s Hour may look like a simple game, and truthfully it can be if that’s what you want, but dig a little deeper and you’ll discover some surprising details. And while it definitely deserves the comparisons it receives to Heroes of Might and Magic, Hero’s Hour unfolds into something all on its own if you let it speak for itself. Whether you want a casual or complex experience, Hero’s Hour provides both — wrapped up in a glorious pixel art turn-based strategy RPG.

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Jun 27, 2022

Ultimately, how much enjoyment you get out of Fobia depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re just dying for gripping gunplay with myriad monsters to encounter, there’s no denying that you’ll probably be pretty disappointed with what this title has to offer. But if you can look beyond its rougher edges, Fobia – St. Dinfna Hotel offers tantalizingly terrifying accommodations for survival horror fans.

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Jun 26, 2022

I wanted Kapital: Sparks of Revolution to continue running with the city-survival genre that Frostpunk put into place, and while it is definitely the relaxing, low-stress city-builder of my dreams, it is not the difficult experience it markets itself as. You may struggle for the first hour or two before really settling into a utopian paradise, but you will get to that point of smooth sailing sooner or later. For a game about revolution, the only thing revolutionary here is how chill it is; Kapital: Sparks of Revolution is fun and addicting, but it’s hardly the stressful city-survival simulator it tries to be. I’m more than okay with that, but are you?

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AI: The Somnium Files – nirvanA Initiative isn’t a perfect game, but it offers one of the best mysteries I’ve ever seen in a game. Combine that with a wonderful cast and somnium sequences that blow away the original game, and you have a visual novel that is a must-play for anyone interested in the genre. AI: The Somnium Files was minor Uchikosi, but nirvanA Initiative stands among his best work.

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4 / 5.0 - My Lovely Wife
Jun 24, 2022

Despite -- or maybe because of -- the intense moral choices the game forces on you, it’s hard to stop playing My Lovely Wife. I didn’t get up for at least an hour after starting my first session, and reached my first ending a couple of hours later. While the subject material found herein is heavy and dark, the story and setting are nevertheless compelling and downright addictive. Even though I’ve never played the previous game, My Lovely Daughter, I’m sold on My Lovely Wife. If you’re a fan of dark and fascinating Visual Novels, this is your game.

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Jun 22, 2022

I really enjoyed my time with We Were Here Forever. Sure, I played it during finals at school and after long, long days at work, so my brain frequently was already overworked, and sure, I had to laugh at myself very, very frequently for overlooking obvious things and overthinking puzzles. But there’s something to be said for the sense of accomplishment for figuring out some genuinely wild puzzles. We Were Here Forever is one long, brilliantly designed escape room puzzle that requires constant communication between players, making for a truly unique experience that will be hard to replicate. I definitely recommend grabbing a good friend and diving in. You won’t regret it.

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4 / 5.0 - Card Shark
Jun 21, 2022

Card Shark is absolutely the most thrilling card game out there, made even more impressive by the fact that you don’t actually do much by way of playing cards. This scintillating sleight of hand title has inadvertently taught me a lot about card tricks, all set to gorgeous Baroque music and stunningly illustrated scenes. The mechanics may feel a little difficult at times due to an onslaught of varied controls, but once you master them, you’ll feel like a card comte(ss) yourself. If you want something enthralling with high production value and even higher stakes, Card Shark can deal you in.

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Words fail me when it comes to Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery. A stunning tribute to a love borne of all the things that should have been said but were kept within, Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery made me full on sob after witnessing its incredible beauty. Fans of Miyazaki films will come for the art style but stay for the tear-jerking story that will paint their hearts with the colors of every raw and real emotion portrayed. If you’re ready to cry — and then, after that, cry some more — Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery awaits your brush.

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Jun 21, 2022

Capcom Fighting Collection is a must-own for Darkstalkers fans, but even those who aren’t in love with the series should consider it. There’s enough variety in titles, interesting games which could use more exposure, beloved classics which hold up, to keep players busy for a long time. Add in excellent supplemental materials and killer online play and it stands among the best fighting game collections ever released.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Redout 2
Jun 17, 2022

Developer 34 Big Things hasn’t just given AG Racing a new stepping stone; they’ve gifted us an entire landmass here as proof that they’re here to keep revitalizing a fading genre. While the difficulty spikes are on the tall side, the unlockable system missed a few spot checks, and the AI may be off its meds, I can see far more than 34 big things to love about Redout 2 and I can’t wait to see where this series takes AG Racing to next.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Final Vendetta
Jun 17, 2022

With its excellent production values and weighty melees, Final Vendetta is a fun throwback to the glory days of arcade gaming if you can look past its occasionally frustrating challenge and some quality of life issues. Still, I can’t help but think that with a bit more spit and polish, it could have been something exceptional for fans of the beat-’em-up genre. If you have the patience to see your way through to the end, you’ll be able to unlock a few extra game modes such as Survival, Boss Rush, and even more challenging Ultra difficulty mode. Though I have trouble imagining many players will have what it takes to make it that far. If you’re looking for an unabashedly old-school brawler that doesn’t pull any punches, Final Vendetta certainly delivers that much. But only the most patient of pugilists will be able to get the most out of this package.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Biomotor Unitron
Jun 16, 2022

Biomotor Unitron is a competent dungeon crawler and mech-building RPG. Little about it is bad, but little is interesting, and it’s very much a game of its time. The biggest issue with recommending it today is that the Switch in 2022 is not the Neo Geo Pocket Color in 1999. That system desperately needed a competent RPG, and Biomotor Unitron was able to fill that hole. The Switch doesn’t need that, though. Between classic releases and new titles, it has one of the strongest RPG lineups any system has ever seen. In that context, it’s hard to recommend it to many players today.

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Jun 16, 2022

As someone that was curious about the first iteration of the game, I’m happy to have reviewed Horgihugh and Friends. It’s easily the definitive edition of the game, a charming and challenging Shmup that is well balanced and forgiving to newer players. While boss battles are the highlight, you’ll still have a lot of fun blasting your way through the Gozarean hordes—a game I can easily recommend to fans of the genre.

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Look, I know I’ve been piling on the praise in this review, but believe me when I say this is a game that deserves every last bit of it. I’ve probably played hundreds of them over the years. However, precious few manage to do what Dotemu and Tribute Games have managed to do here. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge is nothing short of lightning in a bottle; one of those rare examples of a game that simply doesn’t miss a beat from the moment it starts until the credits roll. Sure, you may come for the nostalgia and irresistible retro-inspired presentation, but it’s the rock-solid core mechanics that offer the perfect balance of depth and approachability that will keep you coming back time and time again. If that sounds even remotely up your alley, then go, ninja, go, ninja, go and add this game to your collection. It’s a true testament to Turtle Power.

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Jun 15, 2022

The Caligula Effect 2 is far from unique. It wears its influences front and center and isn’t quite on the same level as any of the modern Persona titles. There are only a few of those, though, and if you’ve played them and want something more, then The Caligula Effect 2 is absolutely worth checking out. With an interesting battle system, appealing characters, and a killer soundtrack, I consistently had a good time until the credits rolled.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Bad Writer
Jun 10, 2022

Bad Writer feels uncomfortably realistic at times. Sure, it sometimes feels good (or maybe even necessary) to spend all day in bed or chilling in front of the TV, but the depression that follows afterwards can be all too real. Although it feels perhaps a little too short, there’s something oddly special about Bad Writer; the dread and excitement of trying to follow your dreams, the anxiety of waiting to discover if your work was accepted or rejected, and the daily struggle are all surprisingly poignant. If you’re looking for a unique life-sim that won’t always be particularly relaxing, Bad Writer might be the game for you.

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Jun 8, 2022

Cowards who love horror games, rejoice! For in TAPE: Unveil The Memories we have a psychological thriller title that offers plenty of eerie ambiance without a total barrage of cheap jumpscares. Oh sure, there’s definitely a haunting tale to be had here, but one that will only raise the blood pressure a little bit. If you’re looking for a standard horror game experience, you’ll have to look elsewhere, but if you’re after a thriller game that offers an interesting puzzle mechanic and scintillating story full of secrets to uncover, TAPE: Unveil The Memories is just waiting for you to press play.

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Jun 7, 2022

I really wanted to love Kao the Kangaroo. And while I did enjoy parts of it, the severe glitch I encountered kept me from progressing like I had expected to and effectively kept me from actually beating the game. Once Nintendo gets around to implementing the patch, I could potentially recommend the experience. But until version 1.2 goes live, I cannot recommend it to other platformer fans in good conscience.

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