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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

Sherlock Holmes: The Devil’s Daughter is another triumph by Frogwares, who continues to do justice to the world’s most famous detective. If you didn’t pick up this series of sleuthy stories back in 2016, consider this your sign to get it on the Switch in 2022. If you’re ready to really walk a mile in Sherlock’s shoes as you hit Victorian London’s streets for clues, fist fights, and, you know, vibes, Sherlock Holmes: The Devil’s Daughter can totally come with you on handheld mode.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Anuchard
Apr 27, 2022

As a whole, Anuchard is a fun game. It’s quirky, it’s perfectly pixely, and it combines city building and dungeon crawling surprisingly well. Unfortunately, the game gets bogged down by repetition, repetition, repetition. Even when puzzle solving elements build off the fundamentals, it just isn’t enough of a change to the mechanics to keep it from eventually starting to feel like a slog. While undoubtedly a solid game, Anuchard is unfortunately just a little too mired in the past.

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4 / 5.0 - B.I.O.T.A
Apr 27, 2022

I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect from B.I.O.T.A. Though it diverged from the Metroidvania genre in some significant ways, I really enjoyed this challenging throwback to games of the past. It marries a compelling and dark sci-fi plot with challenging platforming, fun boss fights, and a vast colony to explore. It’s not a perfect game, and I was definitely frustrated by the many instant death traps, but it’s still a game that retro fans should check out. And that goes double if the game ever makes its way to game consoles.

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Apr 24, 2022

When I was first asked what mark I’d give Death Stranding out of five, I said I would give it a question mark. It’s certainly not conventionally “fun”, at least not for the first several hours. It depends on how much the player is willing to embrace Kojima’s artistic vision and absorb themselves in it. Death Stranding simultaneously tedious and exciting, profound and inane, terrifying and laughable. Like the spectral beings that inhabit this post-apocalyptic America, it’s often shapeless and hard to comprehend. One thing is for sure though: it’s like no game you’ve ever played before. In a world full of pandering pablum and endlessly milked franchises, it’s extraordinary for a big-budget game to be so daringly different. Death Stranding: Director’s Cut doesn’t just re-invent the wheel, it re-invents the whole cart, and that’s why the definitive edition of Hideo Kojima’s opus is well worth playing.

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Despite my gripes with pacing and some insane difficulty spikes when it comes to platforming, Blast Brigade is a true gem and a fantastic addition to the genre. The stellar presentation is a delightful send-up to 80’s action and Saturday morning cartoons, creating a Metroidvania that truly manages to feel unique despite being part of perhaps one of the most saturated genres in gaming. If like me, you’re a fan of tight gunplay, rewarding exploration, and things stuffed with 80’s charm, then you’ll likely consider Blast Brigade to be twenty hours of your time well spent.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Kombinera
Apr 23, 2022

Kombinera is a smart but vicious little puzzler. It doesn’t pull any punches. Fans of puzzle platformers should absolutely check it out but be warned: you’re bound to learn new some new colorful language before all is said and done. Despite its accessibility, it’s not for the faint of heart (or those with high blood pressure).

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3.5 / 5.0 - Sokobos
Apr 22, 2022

Sokobos may have the premise of a potential Greek tragedy, but this game is anything but tragic. A fantastic, fresh take on the Sokoban formula, Sokobos provides players with plenty of brain-teasing adventures that’ll keep them occupied for the length of an entire odyssey or two. If you’re looking for a puzzle game that will really make you sit and think without giving a god-tier headache, Sokobos only costs a few drachmas for dozens of hours of delightfully difficult gameplay.

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3 / 5.0 - Ayo the Clown
Apr 22, 2022

Ultimately, despite my gripes, Ayo the Clown is a 2D platformer that I think does enough right to warrant checking out. With clever progression, tricky (albeit frustrating at times) level design and a delightful world with well-thought-out boss fights, there’s plenty to like for genre enthusiasts who can overlook the areas where Ayo the Clown stumbles. What developers Cloud M1 have created is a really solid foundation that could pave the way for a truly great sequel with a few lessons learned from Ayo’s first outing.

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2.5 / 5.0 - Lila's Sky Ark
Apr 22, 2022

Lila’s Sky Ark was more creative than it was memorable. While you can beat the game in less than a dozen hours, you’ll probably spend more just trying to fulfill the final mission. And while I did enjoy wandering around this weird world, ultimately some bad combat decisions and a lack of balance hurt my immersion. If you’re a big fan of action adventure and like games just for the sake of weirdness, I’d still give this a shot. For everybody else, this probably isn’t your game.

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Apr 21, 2022

Cat Cafe Manager is one of those games you don’t know you need until you start playing it. It’s cozy, heartfelt, charming, and silly in the best of ways. And so soothing that you’ll find yourself still playing even after you’ve completed all the in-game objectives. Which is why it pains me to give this game the score that I did. Because, as thoroughly enjoyable as everything I’ve described above is, the game has some serious issues that need addressing. Scrolling to read additional information frequently didn’t work; if you accrue enough skills, they escape their assigned boxes, spreading out across the screen and getting in the way when you try to view them; even with litter boxes, at the same time every day all of my cats would spontaneously void their bladders wherever they were in my cafe; finally, there were days I would set my advertising for a specific customer type and wouldn’t get customers for days. Perhaps worst of all, there were a couple times when the game wouldn’t let me do anything at all – time would continue to pass, and customers would appear, but I couldn’t prepare food, interact with anything, or even access the menu. Still, if you don’t encounter these bugs, or, better yet, they get fixed, I think there’s something really special in Cat Cafe Manager. It’s relaxing, lighthearted, sweet, and just overall comforting. Whether you’re a cat lover or not, there’s a lot to enjoy here.

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3 / 5.0 - Defend the Rook
Apr 19, 2022

Defend the Rook is a great example of what happens when you have a really solid foundation but ultimately don’t end up doing much with it. While I enjoyed my time with the game I couldn’t help but feel as though I was playing some kind of extended demo. Yeah, it was fun, but it got same-y really quickly. And that is definitely not good when it comes to roguelikes. Would I recommend Defend the Rook? I’m not sure, honestly. I guess I wouldn’t steer you away from it if you wanted to buy it, but, unless they start adding content (which they should because what they have is fun!), I don’t know that I’ll be chomping at the bit to suggest it to people that I talk to.

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Apr 16, 2022

The Cruel King and the Great Hero is my current contender for GOTY 2022; although it’s only April, I just don’t see this changing. With its wonderfully whimsical aesthetics, glorious soundtrack, blossoming world-building and character development, and delightful turn-based combat combining action and slight brainteasers, it cannot be overstated how phenomenal The Cruel King and the Great Hero truly is. It’s probably the only game I’ve ever consciously desired to give a standing ovation, tears welling up in my eyes as the credits rolled. The sum of a thousand tiny details done correctly, The Cruel King and the Great Hero achieves greatness through the lens of a bold and brave young girl, following her heart and her dreams, with her supportive dragon dad by her side.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Road 96
Apr 14, 2022

While many of your actions are said to have an impact on the game, in practice, that impact is fairly minimal. It all comes together in an ending that also feels far too convenient, not seriously reckoning with much of the themes the Road 96 brings up. In the end, it feels like Road 96 doesn’t have nearly as much to say about these topics as it thinks it does. It sticks the landing when it comes to its individual characters, but much less so regarding the overarching plot. Still, those character stories are engaging, the mini-games you’re thrown into are consistently fun, and Road 96 looks and sounds great. It all makes for a trip that’s worth taking, as long as you know what to expect.

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4 / 5.0 - Wife Quest
Apr 14, 2022

Wife Quest‘s cutesy aesthetic and straightforward mechanics belie a competent yet surprisingly difficult platformer. You’ll need to approach this adventure with patience and dexterity (and an appreciation for a bit of ham and lewdness certainly wouldn’t hurt, either). If you’re up to the occasionally unforgiving challenge this platformer offers and don’t mind some fanservice here and there, then this is a quest well worth undertaking.

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3.5 / 5.0 - MLB The Show 22
Apr 14, 2022

MLB The Show 22 continues to offer a solid baseball game that is a lot of fun to play. San Diego Studio has the basics down, and while they iterate on them each year, they don’t break what’s working. When so much around the core gameplay has grown stagnant, though, and players are being pushed to spend so much ongoing money to have the best experience, it becomes a lot harder to recommend to all but the die-hards.

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Apr 10, 2022

Dungeons of Dreadrock is a bite-sized game that I’m sure would work perfectly as a bit of entertainment while waiting for a bus or train on its native mobile platform. However, it’s also great on the PC version as something to gently work out your brain while enjoying the fun narrative and very vibrant pixel-art graphics. This innovative puzzler combines clever yet accessible puzzles with a dash of humour to create a very enjoyable experience. Instead of just putting square pegs into round holes, you genuinely have to think outside the box, and finding the solution is always surprising and entertaining. Dreadrock is a dungeon well worth delving into.

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3 / 5.0 - Coromon
Apr 10, 2022

I’ve scrutinized Coromon pretty thoroughly, I’m not going to deny that. But I don’t think that my decision to do so was unfair. When you’re going to directly compare yourself to something that’s already been established, you open yourself up to the criticism, both positive and negative, that comes along with it. And, truly, there was a bit of both when it came to my outlook on Coromon. Was there a bit more negative than positive? Sure. I think that this game has a way to go (perhaps via means of a sequel) before I could truly say that I’m satisfied with it. But is the potential there? Yeah, absolutely. Between the gorgeous creature spritework and the way that the game simultaneously handles stat distribution and “shiny” hunting via the Potential system, there are some true moments of brilliance tucked away with in this game. And I’d like that brilliance to, *ahem*, shine bright. But it’s going to need some work to get to that stage. And only time will tell if it ever actually gets there.

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Apr 9, 2022

No Place Like Home will draw you in with its adorable illustrations and novel premise; for fans of wholesome games, cleaning simulators, and base-building, the allure might actually work like a charm. For everyone else who’s had their eye on this post-apocalyptic farm sim, you may want to give it some time before it’s truly ready for release after a little more polish. I’m confident that, in a few months time, No Place Like Home will be cleaned up and in a much better state to receive players. Until then, keep this on your Wishlist and keep fighting the good fight against climate change to ensure Ellen’s present is as far removed from our future as possible.

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4 / 5.0 - A Memoir Blue
Apr 8, 2022

A Memoir Blue is like a mother’s love for her daughter — quiet at times, turbulent at others, but all-encompassing and soothing when our hearts are heavy. It is a powerful reminder of how far our mothers will go to keep us whole, to give us more, and to do the best with the cards they’ve been dealt. A Memoir Blue is the best game focusing on mother/daughter relationships ever made, and if you love interactive storybooks and have tissues at the ready, I’m sure you’ll agree. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go call my mom.

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Apr 8, 2022

Glitchhikers: The Spaces Between is excellent, but it’s not for everyone. If walking simulators aren’t your speed, I don’t know if this is going to be the one that’ll change your mind. But if you’re a huge fan of liminal spaces and esoteric musings, Glitchhikers: The Spaces Between is absolutely for you, but I recommend it in small bursts. If anything, it’s reminded me that sometimes it’s not the answer that matters, but the fact that we’re asking questions is enough. Thanks, disembodied low poly heart particles in the middle of the woods!

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