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Hey Poor Player

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1779 games reviewed
74.1 average score
80 median score
61.8% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

Mar 3, 2021

It isn’t really very often that I’m so negative about a game, but Neptunia Virtual Stars does so many things wrong that I just couldn’t ignore it. Normally, this would be the part where I would say, “only get this game if you’re a fan of the series,” but I’d be wary even then. As little as I’ve talked about it within this review, this game is obviously little more than an attempt to pander to the Vtuber fandom. I don’t say that with any disrespect—if you like Vtubers, then more power to you. But, Idea Factory, next time you make some sort of crossover titles, keep in mind that you’re capable of making quality crossovers—like Superdimension Neptunia VS Sega Hard Girls—and maybe don’t try to patch up a lack of content by slapping Vtubers everywhere like they’re bandages.

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Mar 3, 2021

There’s no mistaking it: Ghosts ‘N Goblins: Resurrection is challenging like many of the games in the Ghosts ‘N Goblins franchise. But the reasons for this level of difficulty become apparent when you consider the history of this franchise: like all classic arcade games it was a total grind, created to chew up tall piles of quarters. The creators have delivered on their promise of reimagining this game and have remained true to that aspect of it, so I can certainly appreciate and respect this game on those merits. I also don’t stress the difficulty level of this game to deter anyone from purchasing it, as the whole point could be to challenge yourself as a scroller-platform gamer! Despite my grumbling I must have a hidden masochistic side to me, as I thoroughly enjoyed every clammy-palmed minute of gameplay, in spite of the high degree of difficulty.

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SNK vs. Capcom: The Match of the Millennium may not be as awe-inspiring now as it was when it released more than 20 years ago, but it’s pretty darn close. Even today, it’s hard to believe SNK was able to produce such a full-featured fighting game on their humble handheld hardware. If you’re a retro fighting game enthusiast who somehow missed out on the game when it first released, don’t make the same mistake twice. Just be sure you have a decent controller — or better yet, a proper fight stick — to go with it if you want to get the most out of your purchase.

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4 / 5.0 - Dry Drowning
Mar 2, 2021

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed Dry Drowning. It’s got a lot going for it – excellent writing, a deep, riveting story, and plenty of replayability with branching paths and multiple endings. The few flaws the game does have are more a minor nuisance than any kind of real hindrance. If you’re looking for something Phoenix Wright adjacent, but with a dark, intense slant, I definitely recommend giving Dry Drowning a shot.

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So! What have we learned today, dear reader? Well, first of all, Wintertide Miracles is not the first game that you should play in the series. It’s a terrible entry point. But, outside of that, it’s pretty good! So long as you don’t mind your visual novels being less traditional VN and more supplemental in nature, Code: Realize ~Wintertide Miracles~ is a short, sweet, and adorably charming otome title that is sure to keep your heart warm on a cold winter’s day.

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4 / 5.0 - Gal*Gun Returns
Feb 28, 2021

Gal*Gun Returns is exactly what it should be. It’s a new way for some fans to re-experience the original Gal*Gun with updated visuals, and, for us over here in the West, the chance to finally experience Gal*Gun for the first time. If you’re looking for something that’s going to top Gal*Gun 2, then you’re going to be disappointed. If you can appreciate it for the faithful recreation that it is, however, I can guarantee that you’ll have an absolute blast.

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4 / 5.0 - Nerve
Feb 28, 2021

NERVE is a great little blast if you enjoy little bursts of fun. It’s also a good time if you commit more effort and experience to get good. Either way, if you’re up for a new adrenaline rush with tons of bright colors and a brilliant electronic soundtrack, then NERVE needs to race to the very top of your new gaming list. Great fun all around!

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Feb 27, 2021

Overall, Devil May Cry 5 Special Edition is a lot of fun gameplay set with beautiful graphics. While light in the storytelling department, there’s enough here to keep fans happy and more than enough stylish demon slaying to keep this series engaging.

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3 / 5.0 - The Shadow You
Feb 26, 2021

I know I sound like I’m being hard on The Shadow You, but that’s only cause I see the potential for it to be something better. I do admire Topchan Games for what they obviously accomplished with a limited budget. And they definitely succeeded in the horror parts of the game. Perhaps if they can invest more time and care into their writing and focus more on their horror, their next game could be outstanding. As things sit now, The Shadow You is a promising game held back by its narrative. If nothing else, it’s a short and inexpensive experience. I managed to get the True ending in about 4 hours, and that’s only because I got lost in a couple of puzzles. Horror fans might still find something worthwhile here, warts and all.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Room to Grow
Feb 25, 2021

With more than one hundred levels and a gradual increase in complexity, Room to Grow will definitely keep you busy and satisfy that puzzling itch. A hint system of some kind would be a nice touch to help keep those frustrating moments at bay. It’s a minor complaint for this well-designed puzzler, though. Help me feel smart—or at least a little less dumb—about it.

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3 / 5.0 - PUSS!
Feb 25, 2021

Puss! certainly has some things going for it. From its surreal aesthetics to its haunting sound design that evokes the feeling of tuning into a radio station in some strange, far-off land, the game’s presentation is top-tier stuff. And while occasionally a bit unfair with all of the chaos unfolding all at once, the boss battles are always memorable. Still, it’s hard to recommend the game to all but the most patient players at the end of the day. If you’ve got ice water pumping through your veins or are looking for a fun way to torture your friends during your next drunken gaming gathering, Puss! might be worth adding to your Switch library. However, if you don’t find yourself in either of those camps, then this probably isn’t going to be the game for you.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Mutropolis
Feb 23, 2021

Mutropolis is definitely one of the better point and clicks I’ve played in recent memory, and was a pleasant surprise on every front presented. I genuinely enjoyed every moment I spent with it — even when stuck — because it was such a joy to look at and explore. There were a few times I got stuck, certainly, but nothing that kept me from progressing for too long. If you like point and click games with good puzzles, great depth, and an incredibly unique story with fun characters, your quest for Mutropolis ends here.

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Feb 23, 2021

When it comes to the match 3 mechanic, HuniePop 2: Double Date is absolutely one of the best match 3 games out there. When it comes to story progression and character development, it’s a little lacking in comparison to its predecessor. Interested parties will still have plenty of fun on Inna de Poona, so no worries there — just don’t expect to foster any long-term relationships with the lovely ladies populating the place. Although, on a lust-filled island, you’re probably not looking for commitment anyway. For a good time, give HuniePop 2: Double Date a chance.

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4.5 / 5.0 - Voyage
Feb 23, 2021

I finished Voyage (twice) with more questions than answers, but it was a captivating, gorgeous adventure of which I enjoyed every second. Although I had a lot of fun playing on my own, I think playing with a friend would enhance the experience immensely, as there’s a lot to discuss immediately after the game ends. If you’re ready to be absolutely mesmerized and have about 2 – 4 hours to spare, there’s really no reason not to pick up Voyage.

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3 / 5.0 - Skyforge
Feb 19, 2021

Overall, I had a good time with Skyforge. The combat and the missions were enough to make me want to return to it, and the story was passably entertaining, if not exactly riveting. While it’s got some issues, I think that if it gets a little polish, it’ll be a pretty solid game. Pending the necessary currency clarity and a bit of cleaning up, it could fill an enormous void on the Switch and give us an MMO we need.

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Feb 19, 2021

Nioh 2 – The Complete Edition is a phenomenal game. And while I would personally recommend getting it on PS4 over PC due to personal circumstances, there really isn’t a whole lot else to say about this game that isn’t some form of praise. If you’re a fan of the original Nioh, or soulslike games in general, this is absolutely something worth picking up. And for those of you who aren’t so accustomed to games like this one? Well, so long as you go in with the right mindset and strive to keep improving yourself, you should end up loving it, too.

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Feb 18, 2021

I can best recommend it to fans of gaming history or dungeon crawlers.

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Feb 17, 2021

Now that I’ve had a moment to catch my breath and collect myself, what I’m about to say will hardly come as a surprise to anyone. Get Ghost of Tsushima now, if you haven’t, and play it immediately if it’s on your backlog. It just holds up against the stiffest of competition in the PS4 generation of games, and may even exceed them by a hair. For now, I will be quietly praying for a sequel to Ghost of Tsushima.

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4 / 5.0 - Axe Cop
Feb 16, 2021

It’s a short, linear, funny, and entertaining experience, and one sure to keep fans of the comic happy.

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In the opening title screen, Richard LaRuina is portrayed wearing Jedi-like robes akin to Star Wars, and this is apt because Super Seducer 3 is definitely the Return of the Jedi to Super Seducer 2’s Empire Strikes Back. Though this third entry loses some of the racism and sexism from its predecessor, it also loses much of the grandiose spectacle and the sobering balance of a female perspective on the hornball protagonist. Unless you’re willing to wade through plenty of creepiness and tedious attempts at dating advice to laugh at Richard’s oddball antics, I wouldn’t recommend a purchase here. Richard LaRuina sees himself as a master of the art of pick up, but Super Seducer 3 is a game you’ll probably want to put down.

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