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Hey Poor Player

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1623 games reviewed
73.9 average score
80 median score
59.9% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

Feb 2, 2022

It’s been a long road to release for Dying Light 2, and at times its future seemed uncertain. However, having braved the ruins of Villedor for this review, I’m happy to report that Techland’s long-awaited follow-up to their survival horror RPG is a smashing success. With its mix of gripping narrative, hard-hitting combat, and exhilarating exploration, Dying Light 2 is a spectacular sequel that breathes new life into the franchise.

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4 / 5.0 - Cake Invaders
Feb 2, 2022

All that being said, I’ll be the first to admit that for the price point, my expectations with regards to the visuals and modes of play are perhaps unrealistic. Most importantly, Cake Invaders succeeds at providing short and succinct bursts of arcade fun, which is the exact niche you would imagine it was designed to fill. I’ve had a huge amount of fun with Cake Invaders, sitting up late into the night listening to my favorite podcasts and chasing down high scores on the leaderboards. For the price of a cup of coffee, it’s something I would easily recommend to fans of arcade shooters and leaderboard chasers.

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Feb 1, 2022

Compared to what people experience in today’s gaming scene, Shadow Man Remastered might not seem like much, but after spending a little bit of time with it, it’s easy to see why it was brought back and made better than ever. Despite any of its flawed “N64-ness,” Shadow Man Remastered is a legitimately fun adventure at its core, with plenty to offer to its player base. Sure, it may get a little repetitive and backtrack-y at times, but, given that the game is several decades old at this point, I’d say that it’s absolutely withstood the test of time when everything’s been said and done.

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Jan 31, 2022

Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue has some issues, but it also has its fair share of moments where it really shines. I adore the protagonist and the world she inhabits, their charm and personality untouched by the devastating flames. I enjoy the game’s unique concept and gameplay, a completely new experience in both the 2D platforming and roguelike genres. So while the mechanics might not be the most finely-tuned at the moment and the learning curve perhaps a bit steep, Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue has the potential to become better refined in the coming months. Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue certainly brings the heat; after a few updates, it might be safe enough to go back into the kitchen.

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3 / 5.0 - Blackwind
Jan 31, 2022

Overall, Blackwind is a regrettably forgettable game. Unable to decide if it’s a twin-stick shooter or a hack-and-slash, with repetitive (and sometimes downright boring) level design, and cringe-inducing voice-acting, there’s little to recommend here. Honestly, the best way I can describe this game is in terms of food: Blackwind would be unflavored, plain oatmeal. Sure, it’s edible, but do you really want to eat it?

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Ultimately, Luminous Avenger iX 2 is an attractive and challenging action platformer that nevertheless fails to learn key lessons from the previous game. That said, if you’re a fan of the Gunvolt series or a platformer enthusiast, this is very much your game. If you’re not in that camp, you might wanna skip this confusing side adventure.

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Jan 28, 2022

Fights in Tight Spaces is an easy recommendation to any kind of gamer. It’s perfect for those new to deck-builders or for genre veterans who crave something with a different flair. Fighting game enthusiasts will enjoy the take on strategic brawls that don’t skimp on the style. As for everyone else? Who can say no to glorious aesthetics and surprisingly cerebral gameplay in a bloody beatdown package? Definitely give Fights in Tight Spaces a shot — it’s a knockout!

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3.5 / 5.0 - Karma City Police
Jan 27, 2022

It’s astonishing that Karma City Police was made by a single developer, its world-building truly extensive in such a small environment coupled with a novel blend of mechanics that work surprisingly well. Although I wish I had been able to spend more time traipsing around the station, helping citizens with their emergencies and getting to know my coworkers (and occasionally duking it out with them over a clean game of pinball), I can’t fault a tight, fun game. If you’re ready for something completely different that’ll keep you on your toes, Karma City Police could use an employee like you!

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3.5 / 5.0 - Clockwork Aquario
Jan 27, 2022

Clockwork Aquario isn’t without its shortcomings, such as its occasionally uneven challenge to its blink-and-you’ll-miss-it runtime. However, it’s hard not to appreciate finally being able to experience this long-lost piece of gaming history three decades later. With its distinctive presentation and solid platforming action, the game’s a delightful throwback to a simpler time, when the arcades represented the pinnacle of what video games could be and rainbow-haired heroes and heroines dominated the landscape. If you’re looking to take a trip back to those glory days of gaming and don’t mind the issues I mentioned above, Clockwork Aquario is time well spent.

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4 / 5.0 - Scarf
Jan 26, 2022

Scarf is the perfect game for players who fondly remember titles like Spyro, Journey, and Abzu but want to be able to finish a game in its entirety in one sitting. Its emotionally driven storyline is short, sweet, and to the point with aesthetics that enchant from beginning to end. If you’re looking for something with a fresh yet familiar feel to sink your teeth into without committing too much time and money, it’s honestly hard to top Scarf.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Pupperazzi
Jan 25, 2022

Although Pupperazzi’s length is far more impressive in dog hours, it’s worthy of any human’s attention. If you went into Pupperazzi expecting a cute dog photography game — congrats! You got exactly what you paid for. Pupperazzi wears its golden retriever heart on its sleeve; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if a golden retriever made this game, considering its sincere, fun, childish nature. Make no bones about it — Pupperazzi is a short but sweet dog photog romp that will leave players wagging their tails.

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2.5 / 5.0 - PopSlinger
Jan 25, 2022

Unfortunately PopSlinger is a hard game to recommend to most gamers. If the developers can make a concerted effort to balance and streamline the camera and combat issues I pointed out, as well as helping the game provide clearer visual cues, I think this could be something special. As it is now, however, it’s just too much of a mess to recommend to anyone that isn’t willing to put a ton of effort into the experience. Hopefully Funky Can Creative learns from this game to make their next adventure one that lives up to the hype.

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Jan 24, 2022

I really wanted to like Demoniaca: Everlasting Night. I fought hard to let the game prove itself to me. But it needs a lot more balancing and retooling before I can recommend it to anybody other than the most diehard Metroidvania fan. If you can somehow look past the game’s many flaws, it might be worth buying on a sale. Otherwise, I’d just pass on this disappointing Gothic adventure.

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There isn’t too much to say about Dimension Tripper Neptune: Top Nep outside of what I’ve already said. It’s a short, and incredibly stylish, arcade-style rail shooter that plays almost identically to Space Harrier. I do think, however, that this might be one of the few Neptunia titles which could bring in a larger crowd than normal. It may be entirely rooted in a very fanbase-centered meme, but it’s legitimately a fun and addictive little game—and one which deserves the attention of both arcade shooter fans and Neptunia fans!

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4 / 5.0 - Windjammers 2
Jan 20, 2022

Windjammers 2 will more than satisfy fans of the original who are looking to take on their friends. The gameplay is tight, wonderfully balanced, and manages to add additional depth without compromising the series’ intuitive feel. A bit of balance on the roster could still help, and I do wish we had additional single-player content to keep those who prefer to play solo coming back, but this one is still well worth your time.

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I was wrong about Rainbow Six Extraction. It’s good fun and feels like a meaningful extension of the Rainbow Six franchise. It’s also priced very competitively, starting at $39.99/£31.99 for the cost of admission. It’s actually got fairly decent background lore and story to it, which is a welcome and unexpected bonus. While I do have reservations about how long we’ll be playing this game for, as well as mechanics that got left behind, given Ubisoft’s commitment to Rainbow Six Siege, and how much they’ve continued to support and add to that game, I’ve no doubt that they’ll do the same with Rainbow Six Extraction. A year or two from now, I’m certain we’ll have a compelling reason to continue playing this game. Evaluating what we have right now, I think it’s a great price for a great game, so, as long as you’ve got two friends to play with, you’re going to have a blast. And if you’ve made it all the way down here, and want to know if Lord Tachanka’s mounted machine gun still chugga-chugga’s, well, comrade, it does, it most certainly does.

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Jan 18, 2022

It’s rare that we get a game as strong as Nobody Saves the World so early in the year. With excellent combat, a huge overworld to explore, and a ton of personality, I don’t have a lot negative to say about it. Those who enjoy games like Hades and The Binding of Isaac have found their next fix. Even if you’re not generally a big fan of roguelikes, the game’s more linear overworld and forgiving checkpoints offer an inviting path to entry.

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Jan 18, 2022

Expeditions: Rome is a profoundly in-depth RPG that manages to achieve much of its lofty ambitions with verve. There are a few potholes in this otherwise flawless Roman road, especially with how steep the learning curve is, but they should get smoothed out in time. For those who loved the tactical machinations of X-Com, but wanted a bit more character development and a personal story, Expeditions: Rome is more fun than visiting the Circus Maximus and Colosseum with a full amphora of wine.

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Even after all these years, SNK VS. Capcom: Card Fighters’ Clash mostly lives up to what I hoped it could be. A more in-depth single-player mode would have been great and online matches are a glaring omission, but you still have an incredibly deep, rewarding card game with a ton of flavor from series many of us have loved for a very long time. This one could steal a lot of hours from your life.

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Jan 17, 2022

I’d highly recommend either of Super Mario 3D World or Bowser’s Fury, but when you put them together in the same package, you have a fantastic value. Players who missed Super Mario 3D World on the Wii U should run out and pick this one up. It’s one of the best games available on the Switch. Even those who played it many years ago will find a lot to like in Bowser’s Fury’s different take on the Mario formula. If you still haven’t checked this one out, there’s no time like the present.

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