Cubed3's Reviews
Playing this is the videogame equivalent of drinking cobra venom. There is nothing to be gained, probably is bad for your health, and should only be done as a dare.
That A Knight's Quest is being sold on the eShop at all is ludicrous. Combat, enemy design, the camera, the save system, and the script were all in desperate need of more time. Sky9 releasing the title as is, is simply downright embarrassing. Beyond the lack of polish and the frequent bugs, this is a title that ignores 20 years of conventional game design philosophy, and massacres itself in the process. Few have managed to mangle the basics of 3D combat so badly. Play anything else. A Knight's Quest is one of the worst games of 2019.
It takes a special kind of talent to make a really boring action platformer. AeternoBlade II can almost be the cure for insomnia if it weren't for its embarrassing voice acted cutscenes. Outside of a few striking vistas, there is so little of value to enjoy here. There are so many better similar kinds of titles out there like Blasphemous or Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night and that is not even counting 2D action games from before 2019. With so little going for AeternoBlade II, there is no reason to ever play it.
Inferno Climber: Reborn has a few interesting qualities, but they are completely buried by a combination of poor controls, an awful camera, and quite possibly the worst frame-rate since Virtual Hydlide. Anybody who dares to take on this action-RPG will have to endure a ton of pain. Perhaps, if they suffer in torment for several hours, they'll uncover something of merit. Even then, is it really worth the cost of their soul?
'Unenjoyable' is a very mild way to describe Blades of Time. This turkey is nigh unplayable depending on a player's tolerance for trashy, glitchy gameplay. With so many elements that are broken, nobody should be playing this, which is too bad because there are some aspects at hand that could have made it interesting. There is a surprising amount of unlockable content that nobody will ever bother to get, because who in their right mind would ever wish to torture themselves? Blades of Time is the skid-row of 3D action games.
Nippon Marathon is an atrocious game. The kind of "wacky" that is trying far too hard to be funny and failing in every way. Cringeworthy. Buggy. Dull. Between the terrible gameplay and the appalling writing, it's hard to keep playing and not just turn this off for literally anything else. Absolute shovelware, and one of the worst to come to Switch.
Witch Thief is the worst shoot 'em up this critic has ever played. It is barren of redemption, and is an unsightly blight on the Nintendo eShop. The outrageously long load times should be taken as a warning for anyone who wants to give it a chance, and hope there is some light at the end of the tunnel. There are so many quality bullet-hell titles available on Switch these days, courtesy of Arcade Archives, that nobody should need to be tormented with this one.
Senran Kagura games have always revelled in the fan-service, but they have weaved it into titles that are fun to play. An element of the game… Sometimes a large element… but, not the focus. Senran Kagura Reflexions feels like the extra features bundled into one of the full Senran Kagura entries. At £8.99, this feels massively overpriced, too, even for those who can see value in it. There's certainly not that much value, though, as it's basically a pervy tech demo.
The asking price of £8 for Animated Jigsaws: Beautiful Japanese Scenery is simply far too high for this. The fundamentals are heavily flawed; the puzzles are far too limited; the animated features are completely underwhelming; basically, there are far too few positive aspects here. The scenery is nice, at least, but not worth buying this game for. It feels like a free phone title.
As bad as Shaq-Fu: A Legend Reborn is, it could always be worse.
If Hell does exist, then it's surely the one depicted in Agony, because one can get used to pain and suffering, but these can't compete with utter and complete boredom. Madmind Studios' rushed, "controversial" cash-grab, is nothing more than one of the contenders for the worst release of 2018, and one of the worst survival horror games ever, full stop.
Future War: Reborn is a failure on just about every level. There is something about the basic concept here that almost sort of works, like if this had been put in the hands of a better development team maybe it could have made it halfway entertaining. As it stands, though, this is just a mess from top to bottom. It is boring, poorly made, extremely repetitive, and honestly just doesn't feel like it has a reason to exist. It's bad in ways games are rarely bad, and this is the sort of title that is going to appeal to just about nobody. Just avoid this at all costs and let the zombies win. It is better than the alternative.
All that really needs to be said is that Fantasy Hero ~unsigned legacy~ is an effortless slog. Considering the glut of action RPGs, it's understandable that there would be derivative elements, but this one doesn't even try to do anything unique. Worse, the lack of balance or polish results in a series of escalating aggravations. Before long, the very concept of "fun" is set ablaze, until nothing but ashes remain.
There is nothing appealing about Out of Ammo. It has no character to it at all and even less polish to its name. This is a huge shame since the idea of an RTS that has a gameplay shift to first-person action does have potential. This is not how it should have been, though. This current build of Out of Ammo is not an Early Access version or an alpha or beta, (even though it plays like it); this is version 1.0. This is a monumentally rough and broken product that had several instances of controls failing to respond and even a crash in the span of only 90 minutes. Out of Ammo is an unplayable disaster.
The Inpatient is one of the most disappointing games ever made. Even when detached from the excellent Until Dawn, on its own it's a shallow walking sim with glossy production values. This might be okay for a one and done play-through, if acquired for free, and even then it is hard to justify the cost of the time spent playing this husk of a game. This is at best a glorified and expensive demo reel for talented 3D artists and VR programmers - not really a game worth playing at all.
The interest in learning Japanese has always been large for fans of gaming and geek culture, and tangential learning is a fantastic gateway into understanding the language. However, Hiragana Pixel Party works only in a tangential sense to memorise the easiest part of the language. With just a few tweaks, and some greater focus on learning more of the language, this could have been fantastic as either an actual teaching tool or learning aide. Sadly, though, instead it's about as useful as a deck of flash cards.
Let it be said as simply as possible: please do not buy this. Please, please, please, please! If ever the urge arises to purchase this game, light a fire, take out twenty dollars, and throw it right into the flame.
Moero Chronicle is just straight up disappointing. It's a lacklustre dungeon crawler, with time consuming, wasteful mechanics that pad out dungeons. It's a subpar ecchi game far too invested in its own subpar story to excel at the fanservice it offers, and it does all of this with creepy undertones, frustrating interfaces, and an overall aggravating vibe. There might still be a niche Compile Heart fanbase that gets something out of this, but even then, it's a stretch.
Is this the worst game on the Switch? It is very close. Ark: Survival Evolved is easily the most poorly converted game on the system, which makes it feel like it could be the worst. If things worked and it didn't look like computer generated vomit, it might have been an average survival game at best. Nothing would distinguish itself. It is unfortunate that the one aspect it has that makes it stand out is just how much of a porting disaster it has proven to be.
For an RPG that's so damn short, SAKeRETSU turns out to be one the worst of its kind, with battles that are very repetitive and simplistic, and mechanics that simply refuse to work. As for the Game Boy art style, it's definitely nice and all, but style is no substitute for substance.