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Hey Poor Player

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1788 games reviewed
74.2 average score
80 median score
62.0% of games recommended

Hey Poor Player's Reviews

4 / 5.0 - Far Cry 6
Oct 6, 2021

Far Cry 6 is a must-play experience for fans of Ubisoft’s flagship first-person shooter series. New features, such as the Supremo and various ammo types, do a great job of spicing up a familiar formula. At the same time, the series’ rock-solid gunplay and exciting exploration are more inviting than ever. Even though it sometimes stumbles, both in terms of performance and tone, traversing the island nation of Yara is so fun that you probably won’t care all that much. Whether smashing the system solo or teaming up with a fellow freedom fighter for some online co-op, Far Cry 6 is sure to give armchair guerillas something worth fighting for. Viva La Revolución!

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4 / 5.0 - Aeon Drive
Oct 6, 2021

Aeon Drive isn’t a perfect game, but it has a lot going for it. It features precise platforming, lush graphics, and an interesting premise. Sure the plot isn’t as well-realized as I hoped, and the game even ends on a serious cliffhanger ending (again), but I still think this is an adventure that fans of the original will appreciate. It’s different, but not in any ways that hurt my enjoyment. Here’s hoping 2Awesome Studio keeps up the good work, and that this isn’t the last we’ve heard of Jack and V.E.R.A.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Chezzle
Oct 6, 2021

Chezzle is a fantastic chess puzzler that provides a learning opportunity for those unfamiliar with chess while simultaneously offering complexity for those wanting a challenge. With its calming aesthetics and quick-burst gameplay, Chezzle is great for five minute sessions or playing while trying to focus on other tasks all day. If you want a classic kind of game that just about anyone can get the hang of and is insanely cheap, choosing Chezzle is a winning strategy.

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Oct 5, 2021

Impostor Factory offers yet another tear-jerking, emotional roller coaster with murder mystery flair. The very definition of bittersweet, Impostor Factory’s emotional climax will only make sense to those familiar with the series, so if this is your first foray into the franchise, please grab To The Moon and Finding Paradise first before diving into this sentimental adventure. Where To the Moon sought fantasy from reality and Finding Paradise sought reality from fantasy, Impostor Factory blends them together in a beautifully unexpected way, reminding us to live life while we have it. If you want a wonderfully well-written story with fully fleshed out characters and thoughtfully choreographed scenes that feel charmingly cinematic, please play Impostor Factory (after To The Moon and Finding Paradise, of course!).

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Oct 5, 2021

The true yardstick by which an exercise game should be measured is whether or not it was effective in getting players off the couch and into physical activity; I think it’s safe to say that Knockout Home Fitness clears the mark. Its short but intense sessions are appealing to those who, like me, struggle to commit to cardio; after only 15 minutes each day, you really do feel like you’ve gotten in a good workout. While I do wish it better instructed players on form and stretching, its rhythm-based mechanics make martial arts-based exercise fun and, dare I say, addicting. If you’re ready to jumpstart your fitness journey but don’t know where to begin, Knockout Home Fitness will absolutely get you going on the right track.

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4 / 5.0 - G-Darius HD
Oct 5, 2021

G-Darius HD is a classic shmup, and it arrives on Nintendo Switch in excellent form. While the updates are minimal, it feels true to perhaps the best game in the Darius series. If you’re looking for more than that, you won’t find it here, but fans who know what they’re buying will find a game that holds up, even after all these years.

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Oct 4, 2021

JETT: The Far Shore provides a truly otherworldly experience. With a unique look, stunning soundtrack, and a ship that controls like a dream, strap in and fulfill Jao’s directive. Late game choices take the wind out of things a bit, but I still recommend taking a journey on the far shore.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Underland
Oct 4, 2021

You’ll finish Underland relatively quickly, even if some of the late puzzles end up giving you trouble. As I said up front, this is a small game. That’s not inherently a bad thing, though. It’s well priced and provides a few pleasant hours of entertainment. If solving some solid puzzles and helping your astronauts reach the remnants of humanity sounds like a good time, give Underland a try.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Embr
Oct 2, 2021

Embr doesn’t want to set the world on fire, it just wants to start a flame in your heart. And then make sure that the flame is out. And that everyone is safe. And did you get your food on time? Yes? Could you please tip your delivery driver/firefighter so they can continue to give you a hot meal and cold home? Thanks! Okay so yes, Embr may attempt quite a few things in its own wacky way, but it’s literally never a dull moment. Whether you blaze it on your own or with an entourage, Embr is a great way to burn through a weekend.

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Oct 2, 2021

Final Fantasy IV was a great game when it came out in 1991, and, 30 years later, Final Fantasy Pixel Remaster is just as great. The only thing, in my opinion, that could have made this game better would have been the inclusion of the Lunar Subterrain from Final Fantasy IV Advance. But, hey, “almost perfect” is still pretty good, too. Whether you’re a Final Fantasy veteran or are looking to get your feet wet, I can’t recommend Final Fantasy IV Pixel Remaster enough.

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3.5 / 5.0 - GRIME
Oct 1, 2021

There’s no arguing that GRIME is one of the most breathtakingly beautiful Metroidvanias ever created, and it’s obvious that a lot of love was put into it. Unfortunately, the attempt to create some kind of compromise between Dark Souls and Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow created a product that, while still undoubtedly fun, felt a little too lukewarm at times to truly be considered “great.” I think that if certain things got revamped, GRIME could be a totally killer Metroidvania. But, until then, it’ll just be “good.”

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Oct 1, 2021

A Juggler’s Tale is a short, classic storybook side-scroller that asks players if they’d prefer to let fate choose for them or to choose their own destiny. Featuring delightful mechanics set against a dark fantasy world, A Juggler’s Tale will instantly remind fans of the seventh gen era of classics like LittleBigPlanet or Puppeteer in the best possible way. If a twisted fairytale with unique mechanics, captivating aesthetics, and a fantastic story sounds thrilling, don’t sleep on A Juggler’s Tale.

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4 / 5.0 - Manifold Garden
Oct 1, 2021

Manifold Garden is a serotonin-inducing triumph of a puzzle game that will captivate anyone who loves abstract aesthetics. Every single frame of this game is a screenshot, and every puzzle one that challenges the brain to think of the world in a more incorporeal manner. If M.C. Escher is your favorite MC, Manifold Garden is an absolute must-play, and I cannot envision a better platform for this geometric garden than PC.

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Sep 30, 2021

Weapon of Choice DX is a wild ride with a lot of ambition. While I don’t feel it quite lived up to its potential, and felt that Shoot 1-UP DX was the better game by Super Soul, there’s still a lot here for fans to enjoy. If you miss Contra and want something similar, I’d give Weapon of Choice DX a shot. Just get ready for one insane rollercoaster of a game with a zany plot to match.

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Sep 29, 2021

While not without its share of issues, you can’t say Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania doesn’t give you your money’s worth. With 300 stages to master and a wealth of modes and mini-games to enjoy, there’s more than enough monkey business on this disc to keep you rolling for weeks on end. However, if you never cared for the series before, then this collection probably isn’t going to win you over. Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania is a vibrant celebration of the series’ history that will test both your skills and your patience. But if you’re up for the challenge, don’t hesitate to add this to your PS5 library.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Sable
Sep 29, 2021

Sable does so much well that it’s a shame that these issues consistently distract from its stunning world. This is the sort of game that may be easy to recommend in a few months after a few patches, but I can only rate the game as it is. There’s still a lot to like here if you’re willing to put up with some frustration along the way. Just know that if you purchase it now, you’ll be dealing with a less than smooth ride.

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Sep 29, 2021

The Plane Effect strikes me as a fairly polarizing experience that won’t be for everyone. If you prefer gameplay mechanics over aesthetics and deeper meaning, turn back now; if you love a cinematic, visually arresting journey and don’t mind clunky controls, this might be the surreal commute from another dimension for you. I can’t guarantee The Plane Effect will be your favorite game this year, but I can promise a unique experience that will make you feel all sorts of emotions; whether those emotions are awe or anger is anyone’s guess.

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3.5 / 5.0 - Steel Assault
Sep 29, 2021

In many ways, Steel Assault is the best current example of a true arcade-style experience I’ve played. It’s full of action, style and is challenging enough for fans old and new. It even made me fondly recall games like Contra Hard Corps and Blazing Chrome.

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4 / 5.0 - Suzerain
Sep 29, 2021

Suzerain is a must-play for fans of political games, narrative-based adventures, or for those who want to try an inventive concept executed brilliantly. It’s also a great case study in menu-based PC games and how to port them to console, the controls designed with Switch players in mind throughout every step of development. If you’ve ever thought you could make a country thrive under your rule, Suzerain is a great place to test out theories of any political leaning. Whether it be on PC or on Switch, Suzerain is worthy of your vote.

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5 / 5.0 - The Last Friend
Sep 29, 2021

The Last Friend is truly a gem. Polished gameplay, tight controls, superb, charming art, and just that wow factor that makes you want to play for hours on end. It’s one of those games that I hesitate to call perfect, but honestly, I can find so few flaws, I’m awfully tempted to. I’m already counting down the days until it comes out on the Switch so I can download it and have it on the go as well.

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